Bodacious Boomer

Today Doug gave me a huge bouquet of flowers this morning. They are absolutely beautiful. He didn’t forget! It’s our anniversary- 27 years of (usually) wedded bliss. Of course I didn’t really expect him to forget. He brought it up last night when we were in bed. Also, Amanda called him yesterday and said “What is the date today?” Good for her. He did forget twice in the past. Those were long, grim days. It isn’t that I really expect that much. I do expect him to at least remember though. I’m happy with just some flowers. ( I’m easy to please.) One year he wrote me a 5 page letter. Not really a standard love letter with a bunch of mushy stuff, just telling me the things he loves about me (most of which will go unmentioned here.) He said he even love my Fred Flintstone toes. I have shortish toes each one slightly shorter than the one it’s next to. My toes are tidy. His are long, the second one on each foot longer than the big toe. I suppose they will be handy if he ever needs to climb a tree just using his feet.

As we were laying there last night he said he’s been thinking about why we were still happy after so long when in many ways we are so different. He’s a Yankee, I’m from the South. We both went to the University of Texas at the same time. We even worked at the same restaurant at the same time and never really knew each other.  I know why though. He was a business major, AKA nerd. I was in psychology and art, AKA hippie. He loves watching sports. I like to read. He was raised in an emotionally constipated family. My family was outgoing. His dad was a secret smoker. Both of my parents smoked-everywhere. (I think my mother was smoking when she delivered me.) He never saw his father and mother kiss or have a  fight. My parents had black satin sheets for their bed and had their fair share of “disagreements.”

However, we did have our similarities.  Doug and I were both raised in middle class families. Both of our fathers were engineers. We both attended Sunday school then regular church until we were teens. (Back when people still got dressed up for church.) Neither of our parents ever really sat us down for “the talk.” When Doug was 17 his mom handed him a Dr. Spock book, You and Your Little Body. She said if he had any questions he should ask his father. I think by then he had things pretty much figured out. I got nothing at all and had to learn everything on the streets.

So how did a sports loving, dance hating, emotionally repressed Yankee wind up settling down with a dance loving, outgoing Southern girl who likes to read? I guess like many relationships it was a physical attraction at first. Then over time the other stuff came-the mutual love of cooking, playing raquetball, having a dog lots of dogs- along with two kids. We like crosswords and playing trivia. It seems natural to me to do little things for him like take a snack to our home office for him or hand over the remote. (That’s not really such a little thing.) He does those things for me too. Basically our relationship is pretty much like it was in the beginning with just two exceptions.

The “laser eyes” stage that everyone goes through in the beginning has faded. You know when you only have eyes for each other? It doesn’t matter who else is talking to you, what’s on TV, or if a tornado is in the neighborhood.  You are clueless to your surroundings. Doug didn’t even mention sports the first three weeks we were together. If I get upset about him watching too much sports these days I accuse him of having pulled the old “bait and switch”scam back in ’82.  Sometimes when we’re out we see a couple holding hands and sitting next to each other in a restaurant. The we look at each other and say “Dating.” Really the only other change is the topography. But time and gravity take their toll on all things. Things change. And in the end all the changes really don’t matter as long as you still enjoy the view.