Bodacious Boomer

Does this look familiar?

I am a woman who doesn’t like to shop. There I said it for all to know. I realize that I’m an anomaly; women are supposed to like to shop. I don’t like shopping for clothes, furniture, jewelery or even shoes. I can tolerate grocery shopping- if I can go to one of the “upscale” supermarkets. You know where they have the “artisan” breads and the stuff you just don’t find everywhere else. It’s not that I’m really dying for some lychees or eye of newt. It’s just more interesting to go to one of the markets that has speciality items, whether you buy them or not.

Unless it’s really cold and wet outside, seventy percent of the time I’m wearing a cotton shirt, shorts and Crocs flip-flops. (I live near Houston.) Since I’m self-employed I can just wear what I want. I’ve probably fallen, or jumped headlong into a fashion rut. I mean I know how to dress up-I’ve got silk blouses and high heels. Most days, though I just see Doug or perhaps Doug and Evelyn. (I guess I’d be a good candidate for a makeover.)

I was watching a short bit on fall fashion trends yesterday. (I thought perhaps I could add something new to my wardrobe for the fall.) A young fashionista came out to tell everyone about the one thing they had to have for the fall. You know what it was?-skinny jeans! She went on and on about skinny jeans like they’d just been invented. I remember my friends all putting on their tightest Gloria Vanderbilt jeans before going out to the club in the 80′s. (Mine were snug, for sure, but never so tight I had to lay down on the bed to get them zipped.)

There are a myriad of health problems that can be caused by wearing pants that are too tight. Some of them include: tingling thigh syndrome (No, this isn’t a good thing.), yeast infections, back pain, acid reflux, abdominal pain and constipation. Also, you can even develop a life-threatening condition called DVT, if you wear tight pants while immobile for long periods such as during a plane flight. And we must not forget one of the worst problems of all that can strike women who wear ultra tight pants- the dreaded cameltoe.

Much like the monks in Tibet, with age I now have wisdom-or at least a little wisdom. No longer will I let fashion endanger my health. But I don’t want to become a Glamour don’t and wear sweat pants either. There has to be a middle ground where fashion and health can happily co-exist. I just need to find it.