Bodacious Boomer

As you may or may not know Doug and I had a short courtship. By short, I mean non-existent. We met, I went home went him, and we’ve been together ever since, getting married three weeks after we met. Because of our abbreviated courtship I never had a chance to meet his folks before we married. Doug’s mom came for a visit right after we got together. Could there have been a worse time? We still had severe laser-eyeitis for each other and there was my mother-in-law in the adjacent room for 10 days. She didn’t like the restaurants we took her to. (They were too noisy, the food was too greasy, etc). Why is is so hot here? Hello, this is Houston in July. (Those were looong days). I thought she’d never leave. In October, when I was newly pregnant, we went to see his folks in Connecticut so I could meet his dad- who was a cool guy BTW.

We flew into JFK then went to New Haven where they’d pick us up. Doug’s mom, dad and his sister came in the Honda Accord hatchback to get us. When I went to give everybody a hug, the way you greet everybody in the south, they all stood frozen, like cigar store Indians. It was bizarre. I really didn’t know what to make of it. I was confused. However, with everyone right there I couldn’t exactly say “What’s up with you guys?” Doug and his family rode in the seats. I rode the 30 miles to their house scrunched into the foot well of the passenger seat perched on his mom’s feet. I was the new daughter-in-law and not about to complain, though I wanted to scream “What were you thinking!” (Luckily I was smaller then). Still, it was an un-wonderful experience. I felt like the street performer we’d seen in New Orleans. The contortionist who somehow fits his body into an 18″ plexiglass box. I said nothing.

Once we arrived at their house and I was removed from the footwell and  carefully unfolded it was almost dinnertime. Of course, wanting to make a good impression I asked immediately if I could help. After the salad was made I asked about the dressing. I was told to get a bottle from the pantry. (After 27 years I no longer remember the bottle I chose). However, I do remember my MIL’s response. “Oh, don’t use that one. We’re saving it for company”. Still, I said nothing- again. (I think I was afraid to because only God knew what would’ve come of my mouth out at that point). Now remember, Doug hadn’t been home for 10 years, and he brought his new wife! Still that didn’t qualify as special enough to use the “company” salad dressing. Who was she waiting to impress with that salad dressing? The Pope? (Doug’s family is not even Catholic). To this day, that incident still amazes me.

Dinner that first night was very different from what I was accustomed to. Everything was gray because it was overcooked to the point of being unrecognizable- and unseasoned. The meat, the vegetables, everything. I looked at Doug across the table and made the “What the Hell?” face without his folks seeing me. Needless to say, I didn’t overeat. After doing the dishes, I said I was tired and needed to go lay down. Doug thought he would stay downstairs and talk with his family for awhile. The look I shot him would have burned through steel. He quickly re-thought his plan and came upstairs with me. Doug shut our bedroom door and I unloaded on him like you wouldn’t believe. Remember all those times that day when I said nothing? Now, I said plenty. I think I spoke for five straight minutes without taking a breath. At the end of that night though and after all these years we’re still together, regardless of our relatives. I guess love does conquer all. Today’s trivia answer- 2.5 minutes.