Bodacious Boomer

Awhile back I started painting the billowing bellies of obviously pregnant ladies. It’s a popular thing to do at baby showers. These days it seems it’s perfectly acceptable to bare your belly while expecting. Remember the naked photo of Demi Moore while she was pregnant?  Now I’m going to say something that’ll make me sound like I’m 106 and sitting here gumming my dinner because I’ve forgotten how to chew.

Back in my day, women just didn’t do this. I had Brett in May 1983. I shopped at Motherhood Maternity at the local mall for my “ex-pan-do wear”. They had swimsuits for pregnant ladies then, not sure if bikinis were an option though. Not a problem for me. I never thought about swimming when I was pregnant. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). If someone had been as insane as to have suggested that they’d paint my belly at all, much less with others around, I’d have thought they were on crack.

Maternity wear has gone through a huge metamorphosis over the last 25 years. All the tops I wore when I was pregnant looked like they’d been made by Omar the Tentmaker. They all had smocking across the top to give you plenty of room. Expectant moms just didn’t bare their bellies by choice back then. If you saw a bare bulging belly peeking out from under a top back then it was because either the mom couldn’t afford a maternity top, or had outgrown the ones she had. These days women proudly wear skin hugging t-shirts and sweaters that celebrate their temporary curves. Maternity tops now are really, really cute. I wouldn’t even mind wearing some of them now, but then I’d have to explain how I’m carrying my own grandkids.

Since I was able to quit work the last half of my pregnancy I never bought a lot of maternity clothes. I just rewore the same few pieces over and over again. My mother-in-law, Betty, is a sewing wiz. So I was all excited when she called and said she’d made me something. I eagerly awaited the arrival of my new duds in the mail. She made me a dress alright. It was a nightmare in polyester-  muddy olive green and cranberry plaid print- a large plaid. To embellish the plaid, which was special enough on it’s own, was printed ecru lace. It was the most butt-ugly dress I’d ever seen in my whole life. I called Doug at work to tell him just how awful it was. He defended the dress to me. (Once home, he retracted his defense). In good conscience I couldn’t even donate that dress to charity. It went straight to the trash. I only wish I’d taken a photo of it first.

Kinda got away from the whole belly painting thing- sorry.  (You know how I can be when I get wound up). Anyway, the photos on today’s posting are from the first two bellies that I ever did. I think they were pretty cute. It just goes to show you how much times have changed I guess.

inside the pod at the arch

There was a sad story I read yesterday about a young (26 yr. old) man in Utah that died while caving. John James, a medical student, was declared dead after rescuers were unable to hear a heartbeat after working 27 hours to free him. (Medical personnel had been able to thread a stethoscope to him). Jones had been spelunking in an unmapped finger of the cave when he became trapped. Reports said that the area in which part of his torso was trapped was as narrow as 10″. It’s been decided that since his body cannot be removed and also to protect future cavers, that the Nutty Putty cave will be permanently sealed and become John James final resting place. May he rest in peace.

I think I’m pretty adventurous for someone my age. I’ll try almost anything once. But for the life of me I cannot understand why anyone would choose to crawl into the tiniest of spaces. When I read his story I began to hyperventilate. I don’t mind crowded elevators. I’ve been on the streets of Mardi Gras without panic. However, if I get somewhere where I can’t move my feet I just freak out. A few times Doug has had the car so loaded with festival gear that the only place for my feet was to slide them under a bunch of other stuff. Once, the junk shifted and pinned my feet in place. I kept telling him to stop the car, but he didn’t, not really realizing just how upset I was getting. When I finally leaned down and started chewing on my legs to free myself he figured it out, stopping the car to rearrange his desperately needed stuff.

We’ve been to Colorado multiple times. Raft trips are fine with me. But you couldn’t get me in a kayak without a gun to my head- a big gun. (The whole immobilization of my feet thing I guess). I just remembered another time when I felt uncomfortable. It was riding to the top of the St. Louis arch in the little pod thing. It takes 15 minutes each way.  It’s incredibly stuffy in there and you’re sitting knee to knee with strangers and crouching over since the back of the pod is rounded. It was not a good thing- at least not for me.

When I was growing up, Sea Hunt with Lloyd Bridges was a big hit. He was an ex-Navy frogman turned freelance scuba diver who did underwater rescue work. Every time he was about to enter an underwater cave I’d think “Don’t go in there! You’ll get stuck!” Of course he always went in and he always eventually got out. Nonetheless, it scared me every time he did it.

Everybody has there thing I suppose. That one thing that just freaks them out. Doug doesn’t like heights. Amanda’s thing is spiders. Evelyn doesn’t like the dark. I’d like to go to the Skydeck in Chicago. You stand in a glass box with a glass floor 1353′ above the streets of Chicago. I’d do it in a minute. ( I’m pretty sure the Skydeck would be Doug’s kayak though). I guess it’s all these little differences that make us the individuals that we are; we’re complicated beings.

This would be cool.

Daisy

We got to dog park about 4pm today. It was a girls day out, just Evelyn, myself, Annie, Molly and Daisy. Out of the 5 of us, Daisy was the only one who really didn’t need the exercise. That’s probably why she ran the length of dog park (150 yds.) multiple times while we were there. While walking around the ponds I told Evelyn about the post I wrote today about Annie and her shenanigans. She asked if I’d posted all the photos she sent me earlier. When I said that I hadn’t, I was admonished for being remiss by not doing so. The photos that I did post of her today were not exactly flattering. She was sick and emaciated in one, bloated from poaching Thanksgiving goodies in the other. So, here she is in all her glory, as she usually looks. I give to you Miss Annie Carlson.

Annie

Annie at the puppy mill

Three months ago or so Evelyn adopted Annie, an Australian Cattle Dog. Annie was a rescue. She had endured a harsh existence prior to being rescued. It was thought that she’d had at least 10 litters of pups in her short life already. She had lived most of her life in a 55 gal.drum either in it, or chained to it, for 4 years. Her only protection from inclement weather was the barrel itself and if the storm happened to come from the direction in which the opening was facing that was just too bad for her. No one knows just what she went through- snow, sleet, rain. It was horrific. Initially Annie went to a foster home for ACDs (Australian Cattle Dogs) to be assessed and try to regain her health. Please read on, things get better.

Annie was kinda shy when she first arrived at Evelyn’s house. She wouldn’t go outside to potty alone, instead having to have someone next to her at all times. She didn’t know how to play, didn’t understand it. Annie couldn’t have gone to a better mom. Evelyn sat on the floor with her for extended periods teaching her to play and eventually Annie learned how. Now she loves it. Evelyn said she wanted a “velcro dog”. Well she got that in spades. Annie follows her everywhere she goes, even into the bathroom. If Evelyn had a pouch, Annie would happily climb in, all 45 lbs. of her.

Thanksgiving was Annie’s first big holiday. She really made the most of it. Tuesday afternoon I went over to Annie’s. Her mom and I started getting things ready for Thanksgiving. The first batch of zucchini bread was no bueno. The somewhat briquettish loaves were left out on the kitchen table while we were in the den. Thirty minutes later we didn’t see Annie. Where was she? She was hiding in the corner of the dining room eating overcooked zucchini bread like she was going to the chair. (She had downed two loaves before we found her). The next day I looked away for a second and she snitched a fry off my plate. A pattern was starting to emerge.

I roasted acorn squash for Thanksgiving dinner and Annie really enjoyed it when I offered her a little. She was on her best behaviour that day. However, she made up for it yesterday. After turkey dinner all the desserts were put on the kitchen table. It was quite a spread with three pies, brownies, vanilla ice cream and some of my coconut cupcakes from the day before. People were in the living room, the craft room, the bathroom. No one was still in the kitchen, or so we thought. A sneaky Australian cattle dog named Annie had quietly gone back to the kitchen. The next thing I heard was “ANNIE!- GET DOWN”! When I got to the kitchen I discovered that Annie had wolfed down two of the Barefoot Contessa’s coconut cupcakes and also had sunk her choppers into the apple-cranberry pie.

Annie was stricken with remorse after being chastised; or so we thought. We were wrong. Annie should go to Hollywood. That girl dog can act! She waited til the house was quiet with everyone in bed, then commando Annie sneaked back into the kitchen for one last mission. This time she went for the big score, raiding the overstuffed trash can itself. Now in all the time prior to Thanksgiving week, Annie had been really good, never filching food she wasn’t given or raiding the trash. Evelyn couldn’t be exactly sure of everything that Annie actually ate last night in her midnight raid. However one thing she knows for sure. A picked-clean turkey carcass was on the couch this morning and Evelyn was sure she didn’t leave one there before going to bed.

She can't believe she ate the whole thing.

What else did Evelyn find this morning? A very happy, but very bloated, Australian cattle dog named Annie laying on the couch. Annie hadn’t thrown up.  I found that amazing. What was also amazing what the prodigious amount of poop left in the den by only one dog.  Rememebr the old Alka-Seltzer ad- I can’t believe I ate the whole thing? I betcha Annie felt just like that late last night. Evelyn and I are taking Annie to dog park today so we can all start working off some of our holiday calories. We may be there an incredibly long time.

The good news is Annie doesn’t seem to have suffered any dire consequences from her excesses. The bad news is (for her) is that from now on the louvered doors to the kitchen will be kept closed. All good things come to an end eventually.

I’m glad today is BF- Black Friday. After today I won’t have to hear about if for another year.  Doug said last night that each he hears that term he thinks of the movie Black Sunday. Remember the terrorists in the movie were going to attack the crowd at the Super Bowl with a nail spitting blimp? If I’m remembering correctly Robert Shaw and Karen Black were the stars. I’ll check IMDB to be sure. I can’t tell you how many times Doug and I have turned to IMDB to settle a bet on who was in a particular movie. We never bet money of course. Our bets are of a more personal nature. I always want a massage. (Doug never wants a massage). Just back from IMDB. I was 50% right. Robert Shaw was in Black Sunday, Karen Black was not. Good thing I didn’t bet on it.

I don’t get caught up in the Black Friday shopping frenzy. Over the last 10 years or so I’ve been making more and more things for the people closest to me. I had a friend who was really into old sci-fi movies from the 50′s. I found a coffee table book about old-science fiction movies at one of those closeout book stores that’s only open during the holidays. (It was in the same strip center as Office Depot). The clerk let me borrow the book since even there it was $35. I made large color copies next door at Office Depot of three of the posters then returned the book as I’d promised. I got three black frames at the 99 cents only store. The whole present cost less than $15; but he loved it.

I don’t understand why people think they have to spend a lot of money on a present. It really doesn’t matter to me one little bit what someone spends on something for me. That may sound un American not buying into all the consumerism, but so be it. Perhaps I feel that way because our income has been so up and down over the years. (When times are tough, you’ve got to learn to be creative). We’re not living on a mountaintop raising sheep, spinning the wool, then knitting our sweaters or anything. We shop. We buy. We even splurge. What we don’t do though is go into debt to do it. We paid off all our credit card debt about 10 years ago and went to a debit card. That was that. When January comes though I’m not afraid to go to the mailbox. Do we have all the newest, latest, greatest of everything? -no. I’ll even admit  that sometimes I’m a little jealous when I see things that others have that I don’t. There have been some great things that we’ve missed out on over the years because I just didn’t have the cash at the time. Did it change my life path though? No.Such is life.

For Christmas I’m working on a shadowbox collage 2′x2′  for Evelyn and Ken. So for over a year I’ve been collecting little bits and bobs that are representative of their lives. I got a button from the University of Delaware, also a photo of the exit sign from the freeway closest to UD.  I’ve got their wedding photo and photos of their two kiddos when they were young as well as photos of their pets. Ken has traveled the world for business. So I photocopied the cover of my passport and shrunk it down to make one 1/3 size for the shadowbox. I’m including a section of an atlas page from where he’s gone the most. They’re big Democrats, so I took an Obama bumper sticker and made a mini one to include. By the time it’s all done there will probably be at least 30 different items included. It’ll be like a snapshot of their lives. Some of the items will be raised, some flat, some overlapping. It’s going to be great; and when it’s all finished it’ll all be under glass and ready to hang. It’s really a lot of fun to get together all the different items. I’m enjoying it.

I know I’ll be out and about buying some of my Christmas gifts. But not today, not at any price or for any price. I’m just going to sit around and keep digesting. And just in case anybody might be interested the Barefoot Contessa cupcakes were everything I thought they’d be and the shoe paste pie was just as good I’d remembered.