About 5 weeks ago, I thought that I had killed Bad Michele. Bad Michele isn’t really bad in the sense that she hurts other people or puppies, nothing like that. Bad Michele just makes bad choices. Decades ago, she made bad choices about young men or doing things that were risky. One day, eons ago before Doug made the scene, Bad Michele and Billy AKA Wanda Lamont were at his family’s steel business. She sat on a steel I-beam while Wanda manned the crane, swinging Bad Michele from side-to-side like on a giant swing 20′ up in the air. I probably wouldn’t do that these days. However Bad Michele was fearless and none too bright. These days, I won’t even go to the corner without my seatbelt on. Now if I skip a day of flossing I’m walking on the wild side. Somehow I find that sad.
After being married almost thirty years though my days of making bad choices about men are long gone. (Unless you count marrying someone who hands out compliments about as often as finding hen’s teeth a bad choice). All things considered I chose well where Doug is concerned. I know he loves me, even if he doesn’t spout sonnets about me everyday. He works hard and is unselfish, so I don’t really have too many complaints in that department. Sometimes though I wish my life was more like what you see on the front of the Harlequin romance novels; my long hair blowing in the wind, my stud-muffin husband with a full head of hair tearing at my bodice to get to my perky breasts while telling me how gorgeous I am. Well I’ve got the long hair and a husband. I guess two out of six will have to do.
When Mom was admitted to the hospital last month I stopped going to the gym. The hospital was about 45 minutes away. Between all the travel time, the stress and everything else I just couldn’t do it. Then when she went to the LTAC (long-term acute care) hospital, I quit cooking at home and even attempting to eat healthy. I can’t even remember the last time I’d gone to a Burger King prior to that day. It’d been a long time. The next week though was just a blur. During that time, Bad Michele showed again like the relative that nobody likes but always manages to show up at just before the holidays. So for the last 2 weeks or so Bad Michele has been here making horrid food choices and I’ve been too tired to care.
I have to admit that initially eating whatever Bad Michele chose was fun. Beef enchiladas are just so good. And the pot roast she made at Evelyn’s was rich and decadent. What’s wrong with eating half a box of Wheat Thins by yourself? I know I’m a grown up and I should be able to eat just 1 warm chocolate chip cookie and leave the rest alone. (Perhaps in a perfect world I could). In my world though, 1 becomes 2, 2 becomes 6. Since last night now I’ve been edging back towards more healthy eating without letting Bad Michele know. (Believe me, she doesn’t want to leave). We’re having a family to-do for Amanda’s birthday at Evelyn’s this weekend. The next day though Bad Michele has just got to go! I’ve got to get back to the healthy bandwagon before I’m too ginormous to climb aboard. Today’s trivia answer-10%.
How about “Tired Michelle”, “Stressed Michelle”, “Still Trying to hang in there Michelle”. Don’t give up! The one thing baby boomers see a lot of are ups and downs in diet, mood and weight. I read where you are starting over again. I am going to join you.
Keep up the great work, “On the right track Michelle”