Bodacious Boomer

The day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year. However, do you truly want to get up at 3am to go shopping, risk being trampled by the crowds, then come home too exhausted to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner? Probably not. Therefore, I have scoured the web for you.  Anybody can come up with offerings such as neckties or aftershave. Thousands of sites will offer you the safe gifts- perfume and handbags. This is where people come to find the edgy gifts that you just won’t see everywhere else. Products, that for the most part are, completely politically incorrect, but sadly appropriate for some.

This first gift is for a man engaged in the battle of the bulge, or perhaps for the one who’s surrendered. All women know how much value men put on that “very special part of a man’s body”.  And even though they know it’s always there, they still like to check it out. (We all know they do). Sadly, for some guys, this has become almost impossible due to their adipose tissue AKA beer belly. There’s nothing sadder than seeing a man trying to inspect his family jewels while precariously perched over a hand mirror placed on the bathroom counter. (Not to mention, do you really want your mirror back after that)? Here you go, I give you the solution: The Over the Hill Pecker Detector.

Do you have someone in your life that prides themself on being a hard-ass? Someone that you really don’t like but can’t get away from because of work or familial ties? You know you’ve got to get them something- but what? (They never like what you give them anyway.) Is it time you made a stand and a statement? Then consider this: Grater Toilet Paper. Go ahead and let them know what you really think- it’s the holidays after all.

The last gift is for the fashionista that we all know and sometimes love; the new mom, who can’t wait to outfit her baby in Prada and Gucci, and looks down on all of us who don’t. Well here you go: Heelarious Heels. These soft crib shoes are designed to look like high heels! Each pair of Heelarious heels is packaged in a darling purse-shaped gift box, complete with a rhinestone closure. Cheetah satin heel with black satin lining for infants size 0-6 months. (You know she can never be too young to develop a good sense). of style).