Bodacious Boomer

Ladies, have you ever received something red, black and lacy from Fredericks of Hollywood or Victoria’s Secret for Christmas? I have. I even got to open it in front of family. Doug was obviously confused and somehow thought that the teddie was a gift for me. It’s true that it was in a box that had my name on it on it. However, make no mistake. It was a gift for him.

So, if your significant other is in the habit of giving you gifts that are actually for him, now you can turn the tables. Put Dr. Weener’s Studmaster under the tree for him. The StudMaster is advertised as the Over-the-Hill Exerciser. The box states- At last an exerciser that conditions the one muscle that all other machines ignore! Another site states “It gives you a full aerobic workout where you need it most”. (I don’t know that I’d recommend that, or you both might be spending Christmas night in the ER). Hopefully your main squeeze might actually get the joke and catch on. Only $12.95. One size fits most.

Do you have a co-worker who thinks that they’re the best thing since sliced bread and unfortunately think that the workplace is a proper venue to share all their exploits? Are you subjected to a detailed analysis of their romantic pursuits every Monday morning as you sit in your cubicle and their sordid details spill over the partition? Here you go, a perfect gift for them- Phoney Hickeys. Now, just  like a 15 yr.old, they can display a badge of their exploits. (And hopefully leave out the audio portion of the presentation).

Now here’s an item that’s not so much a gift, but handy to have around during the holidays nonetheless. They say you can use them as handwarmers under your gloves. (I guess you could use them for that too). However, I’d just keep a pair around to put on that too “touchy-feely” neighbor or uncle who drops by. You know that guy. He just makes you feel uncomfortable with that pat on your butt or the hug that lasts just a moment too long. (Too bad he’s part of a combo deal that includes your best friend or aunt). This way at least your other guests can see him coming and take the proper measures.