Bodacious Boomer

Yesterday Doug and I worked at an event not too far from our house. Although I knew the building (barn) we were in was going to be unheated, we were told that heaters would be brought in to keep us comfortable. We were there for 8.5 hrs. For 5 of those hours I could see my breath in the air. I don’t call that comfortable. I had so many clothes on I really looked like the Michelin Tire Woman. It was not a good thing. I can hardly wait to go back today! Anyway, I just got up and have to be there ready to open at 11am so I must hurry, but I thought I’d share this clip that my good friend Mother Connie sent me. If I’ve  gotta get old, (which I’m careening towards at light speed) I just hope I can keep as much spunk as these three. They’re just great.

Is the one in the middle a woman? I can’t tell. Whether the AARPer is male or female really doesn’t matter; but either way they seem to be channeling Michael. They are quite the performer. I’ll try to be back to myself by Monday and be back to my normal posts; whatever normal is for me, that is.

I got my Geezergram yesterday from Headgeezer.com. The photo of this pup was in it yesterday. Is this little guy cute or what? Look at those paws! Sad but true that I can relate all too well to the caption.

Doug and I are doing kids activities at the Katy Home and Garden show today and tomorrow. We’re going to be in the “Annex” building AKA big, unheated barn. I hope we get some business. It’s cold and windy today here- at least cold for Houston. I broke out my long undies last night to wear today. I decided that if I’m going to sit there for 7 hours painting faces, I’m not going to freeze my ample tushie at the same time. It takes forever to thaw it out.

I’m always on the lookout for new words. I like to tell my friends so we all may keep in the loop, so to speak. The last time I did this was late last year in the post- Are you into Sexting? I actually had people thank me for writing that piece. I mean if you’re going to call someone a douchebag, you should know what it means after all. (Believe me, the meaning has changed.) Anyway, I heard a new word today. I knew what it referred to, I think almost everybody does. However, I’d never heard an actual word for it. And what was this new word? Drum roll please……..Moobs!

According to the Urban Dictionary, moobs are boobs on a guy. (Before I get yelled at for being insensitive, I do realize that occasionally this is medical problem.) Now, being zaftig (how’s that for a euphemism?), perhaps I  shouldn’t be bringing moobs up. The whole pot and kettle black thing, you know.

Anyway, I guess if a guy has moobs, he also might also have heavage. Who knew? As those who know me know, I’m a huge fan of Seinfeld. In one episode  Kramer invented a support garment for men.  I read today that they are actually now selling bras for men in Tokyo. If you go to that site, you can also see the Seinfeld clip. In case you’ve not seen moobs yourself, just Google image for them. WARNING: Those photos are graphic and can be disturbing. You’ve been warned.

Does the man in your life have an unnatural attachment to his clothes? If Doug is anywhere near normal, (which may be a stretch since we all know he can be a hoarder), he holds onto his clothes like grim death, even the underwear. By the time I’m finally allowed to throw a pair of  his undies away, they look like they’ve been through a wood chipper or attacked by plague of boll weevils. They look moth eaten; and they’re not wool! One pair had so many holes I’m not even sure how the fabric was still able to hold together in a solid state. It was approaching a mesh-like appearance! I’ve asked a few of my female friends about this. They’ve confirmed their significant others also have an almost unnatural attachment to their undies, be they tighty whities or boxers. I wonder does one pair of men’s undies actually feel strikingly different from another if they’re the same style, brand and size?

When I was growing up my dad had a pair of shoes that he absolutely loved. He only wore them on the weekends. (They were probably Hush Puppies if I had to hazard a guess.) He wore them out; they should’ve been thrown away; but he just wouldn’t let them go.

Remember back in the day when the opening of a mall was a big deal? (This must’ve been in the mid-60’s. )We were going to the opening day of  Sharpstown Mall in Houston on a Saturday. Daddy was determined to wear those shoes. So we piled into the Rambler, my mother complaining about those shoes the whole time, and  went to the mall. After we got there, my dad confidently led the way into the mall with the soles of his shoes just flapping away as he walked. He was completely unconcerned with how he appeared to others. My mother followed about 6 feet behind, totally mortified. (Frankly, I’m surprised that she went at all.) As I recall an argument ensued on the way home. Men and their clothes- go figure.

It’s a kinda funky, overcast day here in Katy. However, I find myself in a really great mood. My house is still a mess and I still look like I’m wearing a pair of jodhpurs, which I’m sad to say that I’m not. Nevertheless, it’s a good day. I recently submitted an article to Constant Comment. It’s an online company where you write articles that other people have ordered. I guess they’re writing challenged. Anyway, I just got my first submission back. It had only 1 error! It was an error in punctuation. The editor at CC didn’t agree with what my computer said was correct. At any rate, I’m pumped. It’s not like I’m going to get rich doing this. However, the writing will help keep the wolves away from our door.

Doug and I were just hired to do kids activities for a local outdoor festival being held in 2 weeks. The spring weather in the Houston area can change in an heartbeat. However, we’re being paid by the hour so even if it rains, we still get paid. Life is good.

Our neighbors two doors down are gone. Hooray! They were horrid people. The mother was gone all the time, leaving the teenage boys home alone to run rampant in the neighborhood, which they did.  (They’re also the people that let their pit bull run loose.) The kids were in a war with my next door neighbor’s daughter. One week, the cops were out here every day, sometimes twice a day because of all those teens. They’re all gone now. Now the whole block is just a bunch of old geezers like Doug and I. Peace reigns again. (I do like teens. I just don’t like the ones that stand in front of my house cursing and threatening each other.)

When I was in my 20’s, I never would’ve thought that such little things could make me so happy. Who knew?