The first big push of the Census is over so Doug has a week or two off. While we were channel surfing last week we saw Raquel Welch on Oprah. I hadn’t seen her in awhile. He said “Man, she looks good, really good. How old is she?”
Of course at that point I felt about as appealing as that gelatinous crap my mom used to scrape of the Vienna sausages before she gave them to me. And no, Doug didn’t turn to me and say “But not as good as you.” or anything of that ilk.
Lucky for me I know I’m fabulous!
There’s something fishy going on with that woman. I haven’t quite figured it out, but I know it. According to IMDB the woman is 69 years old! It looks like she could use some electrolysis, but other than that she does look good I have to admit.
But nobody looks that good naturally or even with plastic surgery by that age. Nobody. You can eat nothing but wild salmon, organic spinach and wild strawberries harvested by virgins your entire life and you’re still not going to look that good at that age.
You could work out 3 hours a day every day, with yoga and Pilates too. You’re still not going to look that good.
She’s human and lives on earth. Or at least she says she is. Gravity gets all humans eventually, no matter how healthy you are and how much you exercise. It does.
And, believe it or not, I’m not so much jealous as really, really curious. How’s she doing this?
I figure that one of three things is going on:
1. She’s got some of the potion made famous in Death Becomes Her. Watch the clip and see the potion work for yourself.
2. She’s an alien. Who said they all have to be tiny and green anyway? Her daughter, Tahnee, played an alien in Cocoon. She was from a place where if you went you never got 1 day older. Interesting… coincidence? I don’t think so.
3. She bathes in unicorn sweat, eats mastodon placenta and dried Yeti testicle, (both proven anti-agers) then kicks while hanging upside down like a bat in a hyperbaric chamber every night til morning while an IV of aloe vera and stem cells refreshes her 69 yr. old body.
My money is on number 3. The other 2 are, I’ll concede , are a tad far fetched.
I saw her on Oprah too. I was amazed at how good she looked! Even her hands didn’t look like those of someone her age. I NEVER looked that good. I wanted to hate her, but she was just so un-hateable, and that made me want to hate her even more.
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I noticed her hands too. They look as supple and plump as someone 3o yrs. old. I don’t hate her at all, quite the contrary. But doesn’t it just seem that her looks at that age just defy nature? I’m still thinking #3.