Bodacious Boomer

The other day I recounted my epic struggle with a product made by the Devil himself- Spanx. It was a hard fought battle. I would’ve lost too had it not been for my best friend, Evelyn at my side. Between the two of us however we were able to wrestle the Demon seed into submission and onto my torso.

It was not a scene suitable for children or those with a weak constitution.

Holly, who writes the blog, Are you Serious? asked me “Does wearing Spanx gives you a case of swamp ass?”

Since I’ve not worn mine out on the streets yet I could not speak with any authority on this issue. However, living in the South, swamp ass is a frequent topic in the summer months.

However, I decided to be pro-active and well prepared hoping to forestall this most disgusting problem. So I did some research and found this product- Manopon.

Now, I can read and I do notice that the advertisement clearly states that it is a “Masculine Hygiene Napkin”.

However, does that mean I and my fellow sisters must contend with the misery that is swamp ass just because there is no product called Womopon?

Yes, women can get it too, even if our private areas are configured different than a man’s. Hot, sticky and sweaty is still hot, sticky and sweaty no matter which sex you are. (And this isn’t the fun type.) Any woman that says different is just too embarrassed to admit it.

Please.

I can only fathom 1 reason why they may not be suitable for the fairer sex. And that would only be if to use the Manopon you must secure it around that “very special part of a man’s body”; to make sure the napkin stays in place and doesn’t migrate, eventually trying to make a break for it at an inconvenient time.

However, as any woman over the age of 55 can tell you, most of us learned over 40 years ago how to deal with pads that migrated. Remember those tiny elastic belts?

Weren’t they were just wonderful? I know I certainly loved having to deal with them every month.

Over time however, we learned how to keep those damn pads in their place, even if it meant we had to walk like we had a case of jock itch or had just ridden a horse non stop for three days . If we could do that then, we can do it now.

Manopons for everybody! Swamp ass be gone!