Yesterday Doug and I went to a ginormous factory outlet mall just outside Houston. I’m on a quest for comfortable shoes to take on my upcoming trip to NYC. My friend Yakkity, who works there, said that if I wear my Crocs sandals in NYC I’ll be a pariah. People will cross the street so as not to be in close proximity to me. Parents will shield their children’s eyes to protect them from the hideous spectacle, thereby saving them from years of therapy.
I don’t know how many stores were there but it was lot; and they’re expanding to add more. If it gets much bigger I’ll have to pack my PJ’s- if I had any that is. This place was big! Smartly, Doug and I arrived there at 2pm. The hottest part of the day.
The rain is gone in Houston so the sun and heat are back full force. Stupidly, I forgot to apply my sunscreen yesterday, so I ran from store to store with my head down, trying to escape the sun. For the most part though, unless I throw an absolute shitfit Doug refuses to use sunscreen. So he just walked around in the sunshine, never even opting to walk under the awnings.
Having embraced this look his whole life, now when he has his shirt off, Doug looks kinda like Frankenstein, all pieced together. His head, neck and arms are a completely different color from the rest of his body. His torso and legs look white. The rest of him looks like mahogany. Great look if your Ethan Allen furniture.
This is really a bummer too, because when he was younger he could’ve been a model. These days, not so much. Not for swimwear anyway, unless someone’s looking for a model with a patchwork quilt kinda quality. Of course I love him nonetheless; but I am getting really tired of being ignored.
I’ve never in my life withheld sex to get something I wanted, but I think it may just take that to get his attention.
One it looks just God awful. I’m afraid one day he’ll wake up and look like a wrinkled saddlebag with eyes; but more importantly- I’m really worried about Doug getting skin cancer.
I welcome any suggestions about this issue.
Fortunately, my husband is more anal than I am about applying sunscreen. Your description was so funny! I can see picture the patchwork now.
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Thanks for the compliment Miss Debbie. I really appreciate it.
Eff it, I’d wear the crocs… may keep away the locals and also keep away the muggers!
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I wore my new pumps tonight. Big mistake. I’m just thinking even I can’t get away with Crocs flip flops and a cocktail dress. WTF am I gonna do?
Michele, it was a pleasure meeting you last night at the pre-blogher conference meeting. After your croc testimonial, I may just have to succumb and buy a pair to keep my tootsies comfy while I stand on my feet cooking all day.
Great meeting you too kiddo. You must give Crocs a try. I think the very best one are the sandals. The style is “Athens”. (They’re flip-flops.) The regular nerdy looking Crocs are good too, but nothing is as good as the Athens. Let me know if you get some! Talk to you soon. Thanks for stopping by!