Happy Friday everybody. I really appreciate those of you who stuck it out with me on Terrible Thursday. I never did determine exactly just what vile thing had crawled up my wazoo to account for somewhat less than Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm demeanor yesterday; you might remember however, I had my suspicions. For the most part however, I seem to be over it, for the time being at least.
Life is just too short to stay pissed off for very long. I mean really, I could go outside and be mowed down by a Hostess Cupcake truck; a fitting end to my life for sure. But the point is, you just never know when your life is gonna be over and I’d hate to think that I left this mortal plane in a bad mood.
Right now I’m sitting in the police station. Now before you have a telethon to raise money for my defense, let me assure you, I did nothing wrong. My significant other, not so much. The love of my life, Doug , AKA Procrastination King, is here because he put off til tomorrow what he should’ve done yesterday; which is to say 4 months ago.
We bought our new (new to us at least) van in April. Most people go sometime during the next couple of weeks after buying a car and get all the paperwork changed over- title, license, all that fun stuff. Not my guy. He did it today. And the only reason he did it today was because he got a ticket for it, 6 weeks ago when he got caught.
Sorry for the fuzziness
Now before you jump me, please remember that we share a car. He has it every day, I don’t. And pls remember in Houston, mass transit is a joke. You just can’t there from here- or to much of anywhere for that matter. I reminded him at least 10 times to take care of it getting the title transferred and the car inspected since we got it. After a while I just stopped. I don’t want to be his mom.
Doug is really good with some things. You want something built so it’ll last forever, he’s your man. You want a complex math problem figured out? He’s your man. You want a guy who’s big enough to be intimidating, yet a real softy on the inside? He’s your man. You want a guy who’s always considerate and makes sure that both trains get to the station, he’s your my man.
But if you need something concerning paperwork done in a timely manner- he’s NOT your man. Thank God at the Census he was a supervisor and didn’t have much paperwork to do himself. (He just had to check everyone else’s.) So here I sit, waiting for him to be finished at court.
When the cop stopped him a couple of months ago, he said he was going to let Doug off with a warning til he saw on the computer that he’d had a habit of doing this. (Letting the inspection and tags on the car expire that is.) The last time this happened, 5 years ago, Doug was treated to a lovely tour of the Harris County jail for about 15 hours. He was stopped then too because of an expired inspection sticker. (I told you he was a sloow learner.) It turned about to be a mistake, not the stop, but the arrest.
It’s quite a story, let me tell you. I could go into it now, but I don’t have any Depends nearby and when I tell the story it makes me laugh so hard I need them. Brett, Amanda, Nathan, Evelyn and I think the story is just hilarious.
Now, my secret is out. I’m married to a jailbird.
Thank God he wasn’t always such a procrastinator or we’d probably never have had kids. If he had been, his swimmers would probably still be just meandering around in there, listening to ESPN or something. They would’ve gotten around to finding that egg eventually, which actually means I probably be pregnant about now.
Ah, but such is the fabric of a marriage. To survive, a good marriage has to be like Lycra. It’s got to have a lotta give.
Here he comes. Hallelujah! He wasn’t arrested again. So now, we’re $125 lighter because of his fines procrastination. But that’s OK. He feels guilty, which I fully intend to exploit into a weekend of honey-do tasks around our fabulous casa. Hell I may even be able to wrangle a massage, a real massage outta this.
Have you noticed you or significant other becoming more of a procrastinator as time goes by? Inquiring minds want to know.
I guess you didn’t really enjoy that experience but I sure enjoyed reading about it! My husband is the total opposite. He’s very anal about that paperwork on time stuff. Not so much with the handyman, chore stuff.
I loved “I could go into it now, but I don’t have any Depends nearby”. I practically needed Depends just reading that. I hope you don’t mind if I borrow that line sometime?
And he’s your man for making sure the trains come into the station at the same time…classic! That is worth many shortcomings in other areas for sure. We all have our priorities!
You are a hoot, woman! I am glad that Doug is not doing time this fine Friday evening. I am glad to see that you are in rare form today, after being in a funk yesterday.
Magnolia
I will give Doug your good wishes Miss Magnolia. I too am glad he’s not in the pokey. He really didn’t care for it all last time, even if it was for less than 1 day. Thank goodness my funk has cleared. It’s just really not me at all.
I don’t know that I’d want Doug to be the way your DH is either. However, someplace in the middle would be nice. Besides, if I don’t keep him in check, he might start having to sleep in the blimp hanger cause his head will get too big. I do agree that his miraculous abilities as a railroad conductor are worth a lot. (Sometimes when I get frustrated I think about such things.) Feel free to use that line anytime. I love to share, especially knowing that I gave someone a chuckle.
oh my goodness. I would have totally learned after the first time. In fact, if my tag is even 1 day over expiration, I won’t drive the car. Cops give me heart palpitations
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When Doug got stopped for this same thing the time before last, his tag was 2 yrs. overdue! What can I say, the man likes the live on the edge- at least where some things are concerned.
Very funny. I enjoyed the laugh although I am sure you could do without the experience. My husband can fix anything and everything around the house. That is why I married him, right?? I do not have to pay a repairman. However, I learned long ago to handle the paperwork or it won’t get done. Which begs the question? How can he handle the budget and the paper work required at work, but not at home?
Hi Aleta. I have no idea how he can be so good at work with paperwork and deadlines, then loses all ability to do it when he gets home. It’s a conundrum.
You should see the DH’s desk stacks a mile high. Makes me CRAZY. And yes, he too has forgotten to pay a ticket or two and then its tear ass to the courts the day he remembers. OY!
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I really don’t know what it is with ours mens sometimes. Could it be some kind of chromosomal defect?
You know my husby is the pinnacle of anal retentiveness when it comes to paperwork,neatness, etc., and after so much therapy, I’ve backed off from obsessing. This make him crazy sometimes, but I make the deadlines, usually well ahead of time. After seeing Doug in action, I can only marvel at your patience. I would have shot his ass full of buckshot years ago, but only after I purchased a shotgun. There’s probably a reason I don’t have one.
I must say, though, that Doug, too, has shown some great restraint in the past. Like the first day we went to the gym and we drove to your house while Doug went to get some tuna for lunch. About 30 minutes later, after grumbling about how long did it take to get a few cans of tuna (and that Doug must be checking things out along the way), the front door opens. No tuna, just a very hot and tired Doug. Michele had the car keys and Doug had to walk home from the gym! (Cell phones were not in the picture that day for some reason.) To his credit, he just shook his head and said that was just Michele. Talk about needing Depends that day. Doug really took his new exercise program to heart – 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes walking home!
You know I did that on purpose. I have to keep him in shape so he can keep up with me!
Ohhhhhhhh – I want more stories from Evelyn/Bunbytes about Michelle/Doug stuff! LMAO!!!
My hubby is good about keeping things up to date. However, he has absolutely no observation skills. Unless it’s a good looking woman…
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Lucky you that he keeps up with all that stuff. As far as the observation skills, he sounds just like every other man I know!
I’m so very glad Doug didn’t get arrested – again. I can’t wait to hear that story some day, though. I wonder if I can get through reading it without wearing Depends?
I don’t really think you could. I’m not even sure I could do it justice by writing about it. It’s so much better when you can see his face when the story’s being told!