Bodacious Boomer

Have you ever woken up, turned over, looked at your spouse and thought “Why the fuck are you here?” Does the very sound of their voice just grate on you?

It did this morning, on me.

Normally I think most people would agree that I’m a pretty carefree person, barring a major problem with our human or  furry kids. ( Come to think of it, Brett kinda falls into both categories. That boy has a lot of fur, for a human that it.)  It really takes a lot to get me ticked. But I woke up this morning pissed. I could’ve been put into a steel cage death match vs both Rancor from Star Wars and Hannibal Lechter and in just a few seconds they would’ve both been begging to be let outta there.

So I’ve been trying to put my finger on exactly what spurred my sunny disposition today. Gizmo is still improving, as are the others, so it’s not that. No utilities are in danger of being suspended, so it’s not that. We actually have a small cushion of $$’s for a change, so it’s not that.

After much consideration I think I’ve gotten it down to three things:

1. The Effexor has finally exited my system- all of it. It’s been 12 days since I stopped it cold turkey.  And if it’s the Effexor that has kept me from becoming Miss Congeniality like I am today for the last 6 yrs; then I’m surprised someone hadn’t just clunked me over the head with a shovel years before I ever started on it.

2. We’re clearing the last of my mom’s things out of her house this week. I hadn’t seen my younger brother in the almost 10 months since she died. We were allowed to go to the house the other day and get some things of hers out of there. These things were of little value to most people, but meant a lot to me- and especially Brett and Amanda. I asked Brad today if he could get mom’s Bible back from my older brother who took it from her apt. last Nov. The man’s an atheist! WTF does he need it for? He doesn’t. He took it out of spite.  There’s a lot more to that story- but that’s for a later time.

3. Doug mentioned yesterday that he thought I’d be ripping the clothes off him as soon as he got back from Austin. He said that now he feels like he needs a special key or some magic beans to get me in the mood for amour. He’s disappointed. Awwww…

And this is a surprise why?

He’s known it’s always been that way to some degree. I’ve tried to explain to him over the many loooong years that unlike a car, you just can’t hook up a set of jumper cables to the ta-tas and expect the engine to kick right over. How is it possible that a guy with an IQ in the 130′s cannot grasp this concept? Women need words; at least this woman does. The man has two master’s degrees. How could he still be so clueless?

I’m going to start looking for some empty bottles of Liquid Paper. He’s just got to be huffing or doing something else that’s severely limiting his brain power.

Thanks to everyone who popped by for Wordless Wednesday yesterday. I’ve decided to keep doing it; but I’ll probably do a regular bit that day as well.

I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll be back to normal- whatever that is. I promise I’ll be funny.

Now I’ve got to find my mustache wax, then go tie a widow to a railroad track. I’m channeling my inner Snidley.