Bodacious Boomer

Sometimes while surfing online and just letting my brain coast in neutral I come across articles that I find both interesting and unique.

It’s not like I go looking for Amish porn you know, but sometimes stuff like that just enters your world without invitation. One of those kind of interesting articles (but not Amish porn, not that that wouldn’t be interesting) crossed my path today.

It was an article on phobias. I did more research only to discover that I myself have one of these fears, and that in fact has a name, Geniophobia. Who knew? Geniophobia is a fear of chins; and I don’t mean Chinese people. (As soon as I have enough save up I’m still getting my Lifestyle Lift, thereby ridding myself of Geniophobia.

Now, I know phobias can be quite serious and really debilitating. I do. So, if you suffer from phobias or know someone who’s life is horribly affected by one, today’s posting might just not be for you. Please leave now; but some back soon. Because as Scarlett O’Hara says “Tomorrow is another day.”

So, I’m going to list some of the more unusual phobias that I’ve found. I bet most of you haven’t heard of most of them. I certainly hadn’t. There are even a few that I know exist, but heretofore have gone unnamed. So I named them.

1.   Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing. I absolutely guarantee that is a real phobia because I met a number of cab drivers in NYC that suffered from this. Sadly their passengers   also suffer, in a different way, when they have this. I know. I was one of them.

2.   Lohanophobia- Fear of failing a drug test. This is a relatively new phobia but one that’s really catching on.

3.   Cacophobia- This is the fear of ugliness. These people react strangely to ugly characters, people or any other strange and ugly looking items.

4 .   Limpophobia- Fear of impotence. I think all men suffer from this, although it usually goes undiagnosed and for the most part, unspoken.

5.    Arachibutyrophobia- This is the fear of having peanut butter covered spiders stick to the roof of your mouth; and as one who has had it happen to them, I can tell you, it’s terrifying.

6.    Duggerophobia- Fear of your birth control failing, therby turning a woman into a human PEZ dispenser.

7.    Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues – anything that falsely represents a sentient being. I’m guessing here that folks suffering from this don’t have a Roxxy in their home. Go here to learn more about Roxxy- http://bodaciousboomer.com/2010/02/order-today-and-save-500/.

8.    Shartophobia- Fear of  a fart not being dry. I think the majority of people suffer from this phobia; although it’s rarely discussed in polite company.

9.    Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.

10.  Isitinyetophobia- Fear of your male member being thought too small.

11.   Hobbitophobia- Fear of having hairy toes

12.   Fourhourophobia- Fear of a Viagra induced frenzy. I’ve heard that this is a common phobia in older women.

13.   Bouncebackophobia- Fear of your grown children moving back home.

12.   Nocableophobia- Fear of there being no ESPN.

13.  Flapophobia- Fear of small animals being lost under droopy boobs, beer bellies, etc.

14.  Amourophobia- Fear of the words “I love you.” I know this is real because Doug suffers from this; which means I suffer because of his affliction.

Sometimes I just want to shake his mom til her teeth rattle for instilling this horrid phobia in him while he was a child. This phobia is so pervasive they even made a PSA about it:

I’m sure there are thousands more. Do you know of any to add? Feel free to add to the list; all this is in the interest of science of course.

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