UPDATE- It’s day four of the “WTF am I doing ?” plan. My body wants to know. So does my brain.
About a month ago I went cold turkey off Effexor. It was not planned. It sucked; but after the worst was over, the nausea, the crazy mood swings, etc., I told myself that I’d be better off it then on it, so I’ve remained Effexor free. Besides it hasn’t been that hard anymore. It’s not like Effexor is everywhere I go.
But since I decided to get the junk food monkey off my back, it’s been a different story.
I had Doug take all the fresh fruit to Amanda three days ago. That part was hard. Fruit’s a no-no on the Sonoma plan- at the beginning at least.
I got up full of resolve yesterday and even got rid of all the “healthy” kinda baked chips that we had in the house. (They had survived the first purge of true junk food a few days ago.) I was doing pretty good til I went to the grocery store with Evelyn.
This was the first time since I started this magical trip I’m on that I had to be around so much- SO much stuff that I can’t have. According to the Evelyn, in a week or so I can start trickling fruit back in to life. I followed Evelyn through the produce department, stopping to sniff the nectarines which I wanted so desperately, but could not have. I’m sure other shoppers thought I was odd. I didn’t care.
“You’ll be able to have them again soon.” I was told. Easy for her to say with her already being in Wave 2. By the time I’m there nectarines and peaches will be long gone I fear. I pushed my cart through the produce aisle and tried to get a thrill by loading my cart with tomatoes and green beans.
“Ooooooh that’s a good one.”
Since we’re hanging out by the green beans anyway, just what is the deal about the people who’ll stand in front of the green beans, cherries or whatever for 3 full minutes and pick each individual green bean one by one? No other shopper can even get near to grab some. Is it going to traumatize them if they get home and discover they have a bad bean or less than perfect cherry? Is it an issue of control? This is my space now! Don’t come near me! Did they not learn how to share in kindergarten? Or is it just that they have no life themselves or consideration that others are waiting?
I’m not trying to piss anyone off here; but if I’ve touched a nerve, give it some thought. I can’t tell you how many times I stood behind a “picker” and waited with other shoppers just rolling their eyes. Take a handful of beans and move it along. Certainly you must have something better to do.
Ah, but I digress…
Just when I think I’m going to make it out of store with my plan intact, my resolve was tested. Big time. They called to me. Just like the sirens who lured sailors onto the rocks in mythology. Lofthouse cookies.
Now before you think, it’s just a cookie, what’s the big deal? Make no mistake. These are no ordinary cookies. These are 3″ individual birthday cakes. Oh, they’re sold as cookies. However, they taste exactly like birthday cake; and of course the pretty pastel colors and sprinkles just add to that perception. And for those who don’t know, birthday cake is my drug of choice.
“Come on, you know you want us” they whispered. I stood there looking at them with glassy eyed with drool stringing from my chin.
To make matters worse, this particular package was minis- just about the size of a poker chip. I stood there holding the package, then turned it over to read the “nutritional info”. Then I heard it.
“Put them down Michele.” Evelyn AKA Mrs. No Fun, was standing right next to me. “Let’s go.”
“But I can just put them in my freezer, then when I can have one in a few weeks, I will, just one. They’re tiny.”
That bitch knows me was too well. “Step away from the cookies.” An invisible tear rolled down my cheek.
Then to put the cherry on my day, this email was waiting for me when I got home-
Congrats! You’re A Winner Of The BlogHER 2010 Butterfinger Snackerz Halloween Giveaway
What next I ask you? what next?
The Universe has such an interesting sense of humor, don’t you think?
Hugs
Mother Connie
Mother Connie recently posted..Mother Connie Sez- Whaddya MEAN- Ikigai
Interesting would not be the word I would choose at this very moment.
Evelyn glad you were there, that was close!! Now, Just what is it she will allow you to eat? just veggies? And I can’t stand the inconsiderated bastards, excuse me!…
Oh, it’s not all bad Track. I can have 4 oz. of protein at a meal. Then all the veggies I want- but no potatoes, corn or carrots. But green beans, broccoli, tomatoes- all I want. I can half half a cup of brown rice a day. No fruit at all. That’s what killing me now. No yogurt either. So it’s pretty stringent. No booze either. Wine in Wave 2 so I’m told. I still want those cooookies!
Wow, couldn’t you just ditch Evelyn for a few minutes? Those cookies sound great…Are you sure this diet is a healthy one? It does not sound balanced to me…
Kim Wright (Pinkim) recently posted..I was so Wrong! But I had Help!
No, I can’t get away from her now at a store- not yet anyway. She knows me too well. Going of sugar cold turkey I feel unbalanced.(Or perhaps I’m just blaming my usual unbalancedness on that.) Those cookies are sooo good. Check out Deedee’s comment. Her daughter got hooked on them. They should come with a warning label. Stay away from them Miss Kim or they might get you too.
I could not give up the junk food. No I could not… that and coffee. The DTs would be less than pretty. A LOT less.
Holly B recently posted..Oprah – Call Me Best Call Youll Ever Make – Seriously
If you ever want to try, just let me know. You know a former addict is the best person to take another through it. (I’m assuming of course that I’m successful in my endeavor.) The crying, threatening and attempts to bargain are all part of it I’m told. I can’t help you with the coffee thing though since I’ve never had a cup.
HAhaha! Sorry, I guess you’re not feeling the humor of this right now. My daughter was addicted to those Lofthouse Cookies a couple of years ago so of course I had to try one or two (hundred) of them myself. So I feel for you.
Take comfort in the fact that by avoiding these temptations now … after a couple of weeks you actually stop craving them! Really. (guess that doesn’t really help now though).
Hang in there!!
So your daughter made it off them? There may be hope for me yet I guess. Tomorrow is day 5.
I try to be good and Tessa tries to corrupt me. We were at Sam’s club today and she was looking at a bushel jar full of pistachios. “Just planning Fred’s Christmas,” she said. That’s my weakness, and I keep them out of the house. I’d rather she’d make plans with Jim Beam or something.
Fred Miller recently posted..Am I Gay
Hi Fred. You and my son must be a lot alike. We gave him a 2 lb bag of pistachios for Christmas a few years ago. He ate the entire bag in 1 day. There were, let’s say, a few repercussions that were apparent in the bathroom so I was later told. Thanks for popping by.
Oooh, good luck. Actually, after a week or so, the temptation will not be so strong. I am borderline diabetic so I had to change my diet a few years ago. After my system got cleaned out, I felt so much better so the temptation is not there. In the meantime, suck your finger, stub your toe, chew up toothpicks, you catch my drift. :)
Aleta recently posted..9-11- Let’s not forget
So you’re saying distraction is a good thing. I’ll keep trying to remember that. Sadly, 6 days in I still want, but have not had caaake!
I can’t believe you really stayed off the Effexor! I hear that you’re supposed taper off, just like cocaine or heroine. You’re pretty tough! but better to be off that stuff and eat cookies than on mood-altering drugs for the rest of your life.
Kudos to Evelyn for being your food nazi. Having an accountability partner is the key to success.
Here’s to carrots and broccoli!
Susan T recently posted..How not to look old- part 10—wear your own nails
Yes Miss Susan. I am Effexor-free! Honestly, if not for the losing of all the meds on the Amtrak train, I’d probably have stayed on it forever. I don’t see any problems with anyone being on meds if they need them. However, once I went through the worst of withdrawl, I thought I’d just see if I could stay off. Financially, it’s better of course.
It’s been just about a month now. Doug would probably say that my temper is shorter. I’d say he’s just doing more to piss me off. I know I’m a little different though. I’m more emotional- seeing things on TV, reading stories, etc. (Stories about dogs, kids, weddings, etc.) I don’t blubber, but they affects me more.
I agree, the trip to health is definitely easier if someone else in the wagon with you.