Michele On October - 21 - 2011

I haven’t been around much lately- online that is.

I used to have a morning routine. I’d check my email, then come here, then go to CNN and USA Today to get the news of the day. Then I’d write a bit, post it and go around visiting my online friends.  That was pretty much it. It wasn’t very exciting, but it kept me outta the bars and in the loop with what was going on in the world and with my friends.

Lately however, I’m lucky if I get online for any substantial amount of time 3-4 times a week. Between festivals and getting things ready for the EcoFab launch, I seem to have no time for anything else.

And I hate that.

I feel like the world is passing me by. I’m happy at least some of my friends are still popping by to see me here even if I haven’t been around to them in awhile.

I just need about a 36 hour day, that’s all.

Apparently I was totally oblivious to the fact that recently the earth tilted on its axis, with some really bizarre consequences.

I will illustrate:

1. Barbie got a tat.

Apparently this isn’t the first time Barbie wanted some ink; but unlike last time when it was just temporary; this time it’s permanent.

It’s a truly lovely piece, extending up on her neck as well; and who doesn’t love that?

Not that I have anything against tattoos.

I don’t.

Although Brett keeps pressuring me, it’s not for me at this juncture; but many of my friends have more than one. However, having gone through laser treatments on my face, I can only imagine how much having one removed must hurt if it comes to that after making a poor choice at the tattoo parlor.

Apparently making a poor choice isn’t all that uncommon.

Years ago at an event we met a 26 yr. old young man who admittedly had made a very bad choice indeed. Brett was only 17 at the time and just rabid to get one even though he knew he’d have to wait.

We were in Milwaukee at the time. It was summer and the weather was fabulous compared to ours at home. The young guy was quick to explain that as nice as the summers were up there the winters were just awful- long and freezing for what seemed like forever. And apparently back then during those long, cold winters it wasn’t all that uncommon for teenage boys to tattoo each other.

No I didn’t understand it either; but I just report the news.

Anyway, he now had severe tattoo regret and pulled his shirt up to show Brett just why.

And just what did he now find so objectionable?

Below his belly button in 1″ tall letters was emblazoned CHRONIC MASTURBATOR.

I laughed out loud, which in retrospect probably wasn’t very nice. But it wasn’t a plan. just a reaction. Brett said nothing, but looked at him like the RCA dog. The guy went on to explain that now 10 years later, he was married with a two year old son and was desperate to get rid of that regrettable ink before his son was old enough to start asking questions.

Obviously he hadn’t seen this product:

It was designed for the lower back; but I bet it’d work on the lower front as well.

But I’m getting off topic again.

Sorry, back to Barbie.

Apparently her edginess knows no bounds since she now she’s also resurrected Jennifer Beals Flashdance, one shoulder look from 1983.

I know I couldn’t pull that look off.

A one shoulder top and no bra?


I’d wind up memorialized on the People of Walmart for sure; but even at 53 Barbie doesn’t have saggy boobs, cellulite or even need a Lifestyle Lift. So I guess she can get away with it.

I hate her.

2. I heard of a water hazard before; but this one takes the prize.

We used to live pretty close to a park which had a bayou running through it. On the other side of the park is a chi-chi country club. Apparently from time to time on the fairway of their golf course there is an alligator taking a sun bath. According to our neighbor who golfed, everyone gave the alligators a wide berth, which always made sense to me.

Apparently though some people do not, much to their regret later on.

Seriously, just how much can one golf ball cost?

Anyway, I thought alligators on a golf course were bad enough til I saw this.

Apparently a nearby river flooded and bull sharks from the river wound up in the golf course pond.

These are not nice fish. Many times when people have thought a great white was responsible for a fatal attack it was later discovered a bull shark was responsible.

And people there are feeding these sharks.

I do see the warning sign in the video. But what if someone not from around there assumes the sign is a joke and goes in for his ball anyway?

However I’ll admit that YouTube video is fascinating- to see someone that close to a deadly shark yet safe seems bizarre.

But I guess that’s it for now.

Doug just came in and gave me the hairy eyeball. The Cuban festival is tomorrow and not surprisingly, we are running behind in our preparations; although not as much as usual, which is a good thing. We’re trying to Lazer proof the house before we leave in the morning. I guess we’ll know how good a job we did when we get home tomorrow night. I’ve got my fingers crossed. But no matter what happens I’m happy that they’ll be loose and on patrol while we’re at the event.

So have a great weekend kiddos. See ya soon.

But I forgot to ask? Do you have tattoo regret?

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25 Responses so far.

  1. Carol Wyer says:

    Wow! I missed these gems too – I know how you feel. I hate not having my nice blogging internet routine.
    Barbie with a tat! well, I wonder if Ken will be getting a matching one now.
    Hope life doesn’t ever prevent you from posting…I’d miss you too much.
    Carol Wyer recently posted..‘It takes two…’My Profile

  2. fishducky says:

    Allow me to wish you the best of luck on making it through your day…

  3. Cheryl P. says:

    I have been amused at the reaction to the tatted Barbie. Mattel insists that it is a limited edition doll meant for adult collectors but knowing how Americans are, they are probably flying off the shelf until the limited number is gone…Then they will be on EBAY for a gazillion dollars. I sure wish I had anything that I could talk people into wanting by saying I only have a few.
    Cheryl P. recently posted..Around the Water Cooler 10/21/2011My Profile

    • Michele says:

      Remember the mania over the Cabbage Patch kids years back? They all looked like they were on Quaaludes to me. Still people went buck wild over them.

  4. I have a terrifying fear of needles so a tattoo is out of the question. My dad actually got one for the first time this year on his 58th birthday. He had been hanging on to a temporary tattoo of a nice simple cross with a rose for the last 20 or so years in hopes to one day get enough courage to get the real thing. My mom and sis went in for his birthday and got him to do it! I think it’s awesome because it shouldn’t be horribly wrinkled when he’s 70 since he got it this late! ;)
    As for the shark thing…eeeee!!! Sharks freak me out to no end. Bull sharks are nasty and they can live in fresh water. I watched a documentary about how bull sharks have been found 250 miles inland in the rivers of Australia. They have attacked people and in one case, a horse (which thankfully survived!).
    Don’t worry about not being around as much. We all still love you and will be hanging around for whenever you do get a blog post out :)
    Padded Cell Princess recently posted..Tooth Fairy TroubleMy Profile

  5. melynda says:

    I have been shown the tat video a million times because of my tattoo. sigh lol As for the shark one I’m with you it looks kind of cool but I can see some dumb kid jumping in thinking he’s invincible or thinking the sign is a joke. I guess you live you learn, you swim, you die. haha
    melynda recently posted..SurgeryMy Profile

  6. Pearl says:

    Funny girl. :-)

    No tats over here, although I have some friends with several of them. No particular REASON why I don’t, other than they just don’t speak to me, although I do look forward to what those tattoos have to say as they age. I’ve got uncles with tattoos from the 50s and boy, those black panthers and anchors are longer than they used to be…

    Pearl recently posted..Call Me When You Get Her to the Car, or What’s A Small Felony between Friends?My Profile

  7. dazee says:

    I actually just put that bar bee on my Christmas wish list

  8. I saw something on TV about the Tattoo Barbie… is it me, or is this something weird? She doesn’t look like a Barbie, and it is a bad idea overall, though not nearly as bad as the Barbie a couple of years ago who said something like “Math is too hard’.

    Barbie already has a gay boyfriend, isnt life hard enough for her?
    alfred lives here recently posted..My horoscope is weird and creepy…My Profile

  9. No tattoo regrety becasue I have none–and it shall remnain so. My older son wanted one, like Brett, but we begged him–offering to pay(he declined)–to wait untul he was 21 to make such a permanent decision. At 21, it had passed so he remains untattooed, as well.

    I am stunned by Barbie’s new look…and horrified.
    And I, too, laughed out loud at that young man’s groin tat.

    Good luck with Los Cubanos!
    Susan Says… recently posted..Presidential Hair–ConclusionMy Profile

    • Michele says:

      I think he was somewhat upset when I laughed when I saw it. But I think it’s medically inadvisable to hold a laugh in, isn’t it? At least that’s how I roll.

  10. TRACK says:

    Morn-tin-ing M, No Tats! Barbie makers are following Nicki Minaj! M.A.C. has given her, her own lipstick pink color! like GaGa! The kids love her, parents not so much…TRACK

    • Michele says:

      Very true Track. Most of the younger parents I know are none too happy about it. It seems people our age aren’t so bothered by it though.

  11. Jannie Hood says:

    I hate not having my nice blogging internet routine. Still people went buck wild over them.
    Jannie Hood recently posted..Arthritis TipsMy Profile

  12. Yolanda Spears says:

    OMG! Barbie with a tat! It seems people our age aren’t so bothered by it though.

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