I haven’t been around much lately- online that is.
I used to have a morning routine. I’d check my email, then come here, then go to CNN and USA Today to get the news of the day. Then I’d write a bit, post it and go around visiting my online friends. That was pretty much it. It wasn’t very exciting, but it kept me outta the bars and in the loop with what was going on in the world and with my friends.
Lately however, I’m lucky if I get online for any substantial amount of time 3-4 times a week. Between festivals and getting things ready for the EcoFab launch, I seem to have no time for anything else.
And I hate that.
I feel like the world is passing me by. I’m happy at least some of my friends are still popping by to see me here even if I haven’t been around to them in awhile.
I just need about a 36 hour day, that’s all.
Apparently I was totally oblivious to the fact that recently the earth tilted on its axis, with some really bizarre consequences.
I will illustrate:
1. Barbie got a tat.
Apparently this isn’t the first time Barbie wanted some ink; but unlike last time when it was just temporary; this time it’s permanent.
It’s a truly lovely piece, extending up on her neck as well; and who doesn’t love that?
Not that I have anything against tattoos.
Although Brett keeps pressuring me, it’s not for me at this juncture; but many of my friends have more than one. However, having gone through laser treatments on my face, I can only imagine how much having one removed must hurt if it comes to that after making a poor choice at the tattoo parlor.
Apparently making a poor choice isn’t all that uncommon.
Years ago at an event we met a 26 yr. old young man who admittedly had made a very bad choice indeed. Brett was only 17 at the time and just rabid to get one even though he knew he’d have to wait.
We were in Milwaukee at the time. It was summer and the weather was fabulous compared to ours at home. The young guy was quick to explain that as nice as the summers were up there the winters were just awful- long and freezing for what seemed like forever. And apparently back then during those long, cold winters it wasn’t all that uncommon for teenage boys to tattoo each other.
No I didn’t understand it either; but I just report the news.
Anyway, he now had severe tattoo regret and pulled his shirt up to show Brett just why.
And just what did he now find so objectionable?
Below his belly button in 1″ tall letters was emblazoned CHRONIC MASTURBATOR.
I laughed out loud, which in retrospect probably wasn’t very nice. But it wasn’t a plan. just a reaction. Brett said nothing, but looked at him like the RCA dog. The guy went on to explain that now 10 years later, he was married with a two year old son and was desperate to get rid of that regrettable ink before his son was old enough to start asking questions.
Obviously he hadn’t seen this product:
It was designed for the lower back; but I bet it’d work on the lower front as well.
But I’m getting off topic again.
Sorry, back to Barbie.
I know I couldn’t pull that look off.
A one shoulder top and no bra?
I’d wind up memorialized on the People of Walmart for sure; but even at 53 Barbie doesn’t have saggy boobs, cellulite or even need a Lifestyle Lift. So I guess she can get away with it.
I hate her.
2. I heard of a water hazard before; but this one takes the prize.
We used to live pretty close to a park which had a bayou running through it. On the other side of the park is a chi-chi country club. Apparently from time to time on the fairway of their golf course there is an alligator taking a sun bath. According to our neighbor who golfed, everyone gave the alligators a wide berth, which always made sense to me.
Seriously, just how much can one golf ball cost?
Anyway, I thought alligators on a golf course were bad enough til I saw this.
Apparently a nearby river flooded and bull sharks from the river wound up in the golf course pond.
These are not nice fish. Many times when people have thought a great white was responsible for a fatal attack it was later discovered a bull shark was responsible.
And people there are feeding these sharks.
I do see the warning sign in the video. But what if someone not from around there assumes the sign is a joke and goes in for his ball anyway?
However I’ll admit that YouTube video is fascinating- to see someone that close to a deadly shark yet safe seems bizarre.
But I guess that’s it for now.
Doug just came in and gave me the hairy eyeball. The Cuban festival is tomorrow and not surprisingly, we are running behind in our preparations; although not as much as usual, which is a good thing. We’re trying to Lazer proof the house before we leave in the morning. I guess we’ll know how good a job we did when we get home tomorrow night. I’ve got my fingers crossed. But no matter what happens I’m happy that they’ll be loose and on patrol while we’re at the event.
So have a great weekend kiddos. See ya soon.
But I forgot to ask? Do you have tattoo regret?