Yesterday was Amanda’s birthday.
Our baby turned 26.
I still find that hard to believe, since when my neurons are all talking to each other and not leaving me in a menopausal fog where I can’t remember what I said 2 minutes ago, I still feel 26.
About 30 years ago when my mom was the age I am now she said “You don’t get old on the inside”. I never really understood what she meant at the time; but now as I am getting older I really do understand. And for once, mom was right, really right.
My mom wasn’t right about a whole bunch of things as she got older because as she got older her relationship with Mr. Jim Beam became increasingly more important to her. So important in fact that many times it was her sole focus. And that was sad for the rest of us to watch and be around; especially for me since I was usually the one she usually went after when she was drunk. She was a mean drunk.
I still don’t know how a 110lb woman could drink almost a quart of bourbon a day, every day, but she did. And amazingly it wasn’t the decades of drinking that finally ended her life. Her liver was fine. And she beat cancer three times. Perhaps bourbon has health benefits that have to this point gone unrecognized.
But enough of this philosophical BS. Now back to her birthday.
Doug and I had 2 cards ready for her yesterday. We even had a little gift. It wasn’t much cash wise; but it was cute. The problem was that yesterday I couldn’t find where I’d put it. That is an example of suffering from CRS- can’t remember shit. Oh, if I could only have my 26 yr. old brain again. Back then I never misplaced anything. But if I had a 26 old brain stuck in this body it’d probably just be frustrated so I guess it’s better than my brain and body match; until I can get my new ravishingly gorgeous android body that is.
Anyway, such is life; Amanda will get her present when I find it. And lucky for me, she’s OK with that.
Late yesterday Evelyn picked up Amanda and I and took her shopping for make up goodies for her big day. Amanda loves going to Sephora. I’d only been there once or twice before. If I need something I just usually pick it up at the Walgreen’s or the Walmart. I’m not overly choosy about makeup, probably because I don’t wear it everyday.
When we got to Sephora they were dispensing mimosas and gourmet chocolates to their shoppers.
And when we got to the cash register I understood why.
Our bill was $452.36 and that was with a 20% discount!
And it all fit into 1 small bag.
Seriously, I almost wet my pants. In my 45 years of self-beautification I haven’t spent that much cumulatively. I told Evelyn they shoulda had a Sherpa carry her to the car. I’m surprised they didn’t have an AED on the wall nearby. If Doug had been there, he’d have needed a jump start for sure.
But Evelyn took it in stride, God bless her.
Now I understood the mimosas though. It’s hard to get really upset when you’ve got a buzz on.
I did get 1 lip stain/gloss thingy for myself. The rest was them.
After that we all went to dinner then when she got home Nate had flowers and a cake waiting for her. So Amanda had a good birthday and thinking back that shot I got before the epidural 26 years ago was totally worth it.
We have a smart, beautiful, loving daughter and I couldn’t imagine having one that was better. We’re lucky.
Now onto news from the land of the odd…
I have question and an answer please.
Does anyone think this is odd?
Is dressing your little girl up like a hooker wrong? or I am just overreacting?
And if you’ve got an extra $31K laying about here’s a way you could’ve spent it:
I mean who wouldn’t want John Lennon’s discolored molar?
I’ve heard of people before that have paid for used chewing gum, etc. from celebrities; so I guess this should some as no surprise, but ewwwww.
I have locks of both Brett’s and Amanda’s hair from their first haircuts; but that’s as far as I went. My dad keep his gallstone in a jar in the bathroom cabinet when I was growing up and it freaked me out, so I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised; but at least that had been in him.
BTW- If anyone else wants something like that, I think the hospital still has my kidney stones; and I’ll be happy to let them go for only $1995. Just remember Christmas is coming. and they’d be a one of a kind gift.
So I guess that’s it for now. And although I’m still in a funk about LB, I have no choice but to pull myself up and start cleaning again. Unfortunately I don’t think Manners the Butler or a pack of maids is going to just show up and decrud our house, so I guess it’s left to us to do it.
And somehow that just seems wrong.