Michele On January - 25 - 2013

Well it’s Friday, only 1 more day in pain; and one more day with a fucked up ring finger. Of course it wasn’t always that way, fucked up that is; but I made the mistake of using my hands to keep our dachshund’s head from being cracked like a pecan in the jaws of another dog.

Was it a good thing?

I think so. I saved Justin’s life.

Was it a bad thing?

Most people would probably say so.

My ring finger was bitten off at the first joint; well not actually bitten completely off. It was still attached by a thin shred of skin. I never looked at it after it happened; but I could feel it just swinging free. Doug looked at it and almost threw up. I just squeezed it as hard as I could til we got to the ER where the nurse said “Really, Mrs. Eigler I could just send you home with a band aid”.

He was a peach.

About 4 hrs later I finally went to the OR where, during a 2.5 hr. surgery, the plastic surgeon (who obviously got his MD from a correspondence school in Guadalajara) kinda sorta fixed my finger. More on that later.

The day after the incident in a drug induced haze I kissed the kids goodbye and with my hand in a half-cast I was on plane and heading to San Fransisco with Doug for a 10 day trip for our 10th anniversary. The plane tickets and the B&B in Pacific Heights had been paid for months earlier and were non-refundable. We’d also paid for Brett and Amanda to go to camp for 2 weeks while we were gone.

Short of death there way no way I was gonna miss that trip.

So we went, with me popping Vicodin like Pez.

From what I remember the trip was fun; and people on the trolleys were most gracious giving me their seat when they saw the ginormous wrap on my right hand.

Upon my return when my hand was unwrapped I saw my finger permanently bent at about a 75 degree angle. And when I asked the Dr. you know what that idiot MD said?

“I did that so you can carry luggage.”

Seriously, he said exactly that, with a straight face.

WTF! Did I look like a bellhop to him or what?

Needless to say I was pissed; but later when I went to the top two hand surgeons in Houston for a second opinion neither one said they’d put anything in writing saying Dr. Incompetent had actually done anything wrong. (Apparently the whole thing about Dr.’s sticking together is true.)  I shoulda sued that incompetent twit’s testicles smooth off; but we were really busy with our mortgage company then and before I knew it the 2 year window for litigation had expired.

And since the finger was “functional” insurance wouldn’t cover getting it fixed; so I lived with it like that lo these many (22) years.

For the most part it hasn’t been too awful; although continuing my career as a professional beach volleyball player/hand model was completely outta the question after the incident. Most people have never even noticed my finger. Unconsciously I developed a Bob Dole kinda thing with my right hand; but I’ve noticed; and it’s bugged me. So on Saturday I’m finally getting it fixed.

So in addition to my carpal tunnel surgery they’re breaking my finger and repinning it during the same surgery.

It’s a BOGO! And you know how I love those.

I was thinking of staying awake for the procedure. The anesthesiologist said he could just give my arm an epidural (so to speak); but I’m not sure I want to hear the word “Hammer.”, then actually hear it when they break my finger. I was awake for a C-section. I even saw in the incision reflected in my OB’s glasses, and didn’t freak ; but then my OB was about to reach inside and pull out a great prize. I just realized I was a like a super-sized box of Cracker Jack.

Anyway I don’t know why this should be a bigger deal; but it seems to be. So instead I guess I’ll just go ahead and wuss out and take the Versed/Fentanyl they’ve offered.

Guess I’m not as tough as I used to be.

Evelyn is taking me tomorrow. Doug is heading out to a home and garden show with a big group of new flowers–our best group yet. We’ll see how he does without me being there. If you’re up north stay warm kiddos. You wouldn’t want you noo-noo’s to freeze off. I’ll be shorts and Crocs all weekend.

See ya next week.





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10 Responses so far.

  1. fishducky says:

    I could never really understand the medical sense of humor–& after reading your post, I STILL DON’T!! Good luck on your surgery!!!
    fishducky recently posted..CARS & DRIVING & STUFFMy Profile

  2. Cheryl P. says:

    I figure that everyone ends up with one really bad surgeon in their lifetime and you already had yours. I, too have one I should of sued. (took out the wrong part..then was pissy when they had to admit it so I could go back to have the right part removed)

    Good luck on your BOGO surgeries. Hopefully you will have a quick recovery and all goes well.

    Take care!!!
    Cheryl P. recently posted..Calculating The RisksMy Profile

    • Michele says:

      Sweet Jesus, just what did they take out by mistake? I think I’ll be scribbling a note on my hand in the morning.

  3. I’m exhausted from reading this. It also brought back memories of when I was 2 years old and my older brother chopped off my finger accidentally by slamming a door on it. It was sewed back on…. obviously since I’m typing this comment! Good luck with your surgery. Come back to us sooooooon!

  4. Michele says:

    For the last 20 years I haven’t been able to use that finger to type. It’ll be interesting to see what happens after manana.

    I’m like a bad penny. I’ll be popping up again before you even know I’m gone.

  5. Liz C. says:

    I’m hoping everything turns out alright, dear lady. You need those hands to work at full capacity, right? Sending out good vibes from here…
    Liz C. recently posted..The Magic Of Itzhak Perlman & His Sweet ViolinMy Profile

  6. Jenn says:

    Doctors are weird sometimes. When I had my tumor removed I was back in my room and waiting for a “official cancer” diagnoses from the biopsy he came into my room and said. Well I guess I was wrong. You do not have cancer but I do have a picture of your tumor you can use as a Christmas Card.” Glad he was wrong about the cancer but seriously…a Christmas? Hang in there my friend!
    Jenn recently posted..Six Degress of Dr. Sheldon CooperMy Profile

  7. Yikes! I can’t imagine being awake for anything where I am intentionally cut open! Best of luck on both surgeries and I hope recovery is great (and you get some really good drugs!).
    Padded Cell Princess recently posted..Paperwork makes my brain go numbMy Profile

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