Ah spring is here, at least in Houston and in NYC spring means Fashion Week–the week when all the fashionistas see what the designers say they MUST be wearing this spring, lest they be shunned by the other ladies who lunch.
Being the arbiter of fashion that I am, have already chosen the perfect outfit for me:
It’s very Dementoresque don’t you agree?
It’s quite a look I think and a bargain for a number of reasons as I will now explain:
1. No more $$ need be spent on pesky laser treatments, Botox, sunscreen, or electrolysis. You could look like Abe Lincoln and who would know.
2. If you get a rip you can repair it with a dirty rag from your local chimney sweep or auto mechanic. (Extra points for being green.)
3. No one will pester you for your autograph.
4. You’ll get a good seat at any public event because no one will want to sit anywhere close to you because they’ll think your bat-shit crazy.
5. You could be wearing the Hope diamond underneath and no one would ever know.
6. You won’t be harassed by construction workers as you walk down the street.
7. You could be buck naked and no one would be the wiser; a plus for hormonally challenged women. (One less layer to contend with.)
My only concern is that I wonder how’ll it’ll look with my Crocs; because I’m not giving them up for anything.
Now, just so all the guys don’t feel left out I wanted to highlight something I saw just today–
Apparently these have been all the rage for at least a year now; but as usual, I’m late getting to the party.
Yes ladies, now your man can be fashionable too.
I showed them to Doug, who gave me the RCA dog head tilt while at the same time asking “WTF? They really expect men to walk around in these?”
Now pls understand this is a man who once dressed up as a woman for a party. It was an unfortunate look to be sure, being as he refused to shave his mustache for the soiree; but the point is he isn’t some knuckle-dragging troglodyte.
Nevertheless, Doug was more than relieved when I told him that in size XL you can only be 6′ tall and wear them. He was really glad he has that extra couple of inches, as am I.
So will the men you know be sporting mantyhose this spring?