Michele On February - 21 - 2013

Ah spring is here, at least in Houston and in NYC spring means Fashion Week–the week when all the fashionistas see what the designers say they MUST be wearing this spring, lest they be shunned by the other ladies who lunch.

Being the arbiter of fashion that I am, have already chosen the perfect outfit for me:

dementor

It’s very Dementoresque don’t you agree?

It’s quite a look I think and a bargain for a number of reasons as I will now explain:

1. No more $$ need be spent on pesky laser treatments, Botox, sunscreen, or electrolysis. You could look like Abe Lincoln and who would know.

2. If you get a rip you can repair it with a dirty rag from your local chimney sweep or auto mechanic. (Extra points for being green.)

3. No one will pester you for your autograph.

4. You’ll get a good seat at any public event because no one will want to sit anywhere close to you because they’ll think your bat-shit crazy.

5. You could be wearing the Hope diamond underneath and no one would ever know.

6. You won’t be harassed by construction workers as you walk down the street.

7. You could be buck naked and no one would be the wiser; a plus for hormonally challenged women. (One less layer to contend with.)

My only concern is that I wonder how’ll it’ll look with my Crocs; because I’m not giving them up for anything.

Now, just so all the guys don’t feel left out I wanted to highlight something I saw just today–

Mantyhose.

Apparently these have been all the rage for at least a year now; but as usual, I’m late getting to the party.

mantyhose

Yes ladies, now your man can be fashionable too.

I showed them to Doug, who gave me the RCA dog head tilt while at the same time asking “WTF? They really expect men to walk around in these?”

Now pls understand this is a man who once dressed up as a woman for a party. It was an unfortunate look to be sure, being as he refused to shave his mustache for the soiree; but the point is he isn’t some knuckle-dragging troglodyte.

Nevertheless, Doug was more than relieved when I told him that in size XL you can only be 6′ tall and wear them. He was really glad he has that extra couple of inches, as am I.

So will the men you know be sporting mantyhose this spring?

 

 

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15 Responses so far.

  1. I’m not sure if the Dementor looks is for me but this would also mean you wouldn’t have to shave ever again! (especially if you get a fleece pj version)
    I don’t see there being much of a chance of getting Branden into those mantyhose. They probably would look bad with leg hair poking out of them.
    Padded Cell Princess recently posted..http://www.mypaddedcell.comMy Profile

    • Michele says:

      I think you’re right Princess. Hairy legs underneath probably wouldn’t be the best. Maybe you could get him to wax. He and Doug could go together, the same day flying pigs are put into service.

  2. Cheryl P. says:

    I guess the Dementor look is in preparation for the supposed Zombie Apocalypse that is due soon. Unfortunately, I have to say I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in it.

    As for the mantyhose. Whoever is claiming that is “all the rage” has a bunch of mantyhose they are trying to sell. No man in his right mind would wear anything uncomfortable.
    Cheryl P. recently posted..Fire and IceMy Profile

  3. Vapid Vixen says:

    I think I could be down with that look. On more than one occasion I’ve sighed the sigh of the highly inconvenienced when applying my makeup for the 9th day in a row while wondering why I bother to do this every friggin day.

    As for the mantyhose…all I can picture are man leg hairs all matted down and squashed under the hose. Or worse! Poking through!
    Vapid Vixen recently posted..Is It Normal To Call Your Valentine A Shitface?My Profile

  4. Batpoopcrazy says:

    Well of course I want the Demonator if it will make me look even more bat-shit crazy than I already look! That and I wouldn’t have to go back to the gym, ever.

    I’d say no way to the mantyhose though. It’s way too metro for my hubs.

  5. Michele says:

    Hiya Batpoop. I hadn’t thought of all the $$ saved on a gym membership. You are wise indeed.:)

  6. DWei says:

    Yeah no. Not going to wear those “mantyhose” things, ever.

    Unless I wanted to crossdress or something for Halloween.

  7. Michele says:

    Well I’m sure if you do ever decide to cross dress you’ll look better than Doug. He just couldn’t pull it off very well with that mustache.

  8. bunbytes says:

    That rag bag looks like some Bedouin from a Star Wars movie. An it’s such a lovely color, too.

  9. Michele says:

    That’s true; but on the plus side you’d never have to worry about spots on the front. That’s a big plus for people like the two of us.:)

  10. TRACK says:

    Not the ones I’m dating, I don’t think!…TRACK

  11. Michele says:

    I wouldn’t expect so Track.

  12. johnn says:

    The rag is a rag. The mantyhose which would be fashionable in Europe??? haven’t seen it around. Why would it be questionable when women dress as men all the time.

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