Michele On February - 14 - 2014

This post is NOT for the faint of heart! Aleta, skip this. This is about SEX!!



So for anyone not wanting to be shocked and shaken, pls come back next time. I promise it’ll be all about cute animals and totally safe for the whole family.

In the meantime…

Happy Valentine’s Day kiddos. I hope your day so far has been a good one; and if you just happen to be alone today, don’t fret. All this VD nonsense will be gone tomorrow; and the world will get back to normal.

Now VD puts a lot of pressure on couples. What do I get my partner? Will they like it? Are those 4″ heels really for her, or just for me? If I give her candy will she think I want her to gain weight? If I don’t give her candy will she think I want her to lose weight?

These are questions that have been going on since the dawn of time; but there is one thing that I know for sure. If you are in a relationship and in the same room at the same time today, at some point today, it’s all gonna be about slap n’ tickle, in some way shape or form.

Now, men are easy to please.

Just show up naked holding a platter of wings while offering him the TV remote and you’ll get a gold star.

We who are without tallywhackers however, are much more complicated.

It’s true that sometimes a silent quickie is fun; however, usually, we want to be schmoozed, at least a little.  Yes, even if we’ve been together since the ice age. We don’t want to be treated like an appliance. Don’t expect to just twist a couple of knobs and send us into the stratosphere.

That’s the lazy way out.

Put the time in guys. Tell her what you know she wants to hear. Make her feel special. If you’re in love with her, then TELL HER!

Now that you know what to say, here’s a tutorial for those of you who are, I will be kind here, let’s say challenged when it comes to a certain activity. Sadly, as I recall and having had discussions with my female friends over the years there are a lot of you out there.

Here you go--

And for God’s sake don’t pull a George!

Focus people, focus!


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5 Responses so far.

  1. jenny_o says:

    The candy comment is right on target! The Seinfeld clip was hilarious … I will never look at pastrami the same way ever again.

  2. TRACK says:

    I must share this M! l.o.l. true, so true…focus dammit, focus
    M, You’re getting better…

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