I hope your Sunday was a good one.

If you’re a mom I hope you had a great day, that you got to spend time with your family, got some flowers or at least a nice call.

If you’ve still got a mom I hope that you spent time with her or lacking that at least gave her a nice call. If you didn’t do anything and your mom wasn’t a heinous bitch when you were growing up then shame on you.

But enough of that…

Doug and I worked all day at the Omni in Houston. It’s a  very chi-chi upscale hotel near the Galleria in Houston. We provided sand art and candlemaking for the children at the brunch.

Most of the moms and GMAs were well dressed, or at least appropriately dressed.

However it seems there are always a few that feel the need to make their own statement- to think outside the box, so to speak.

A couple of them were one shoulder frocks, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

One dress was all black and unembellished. The woman wearing it looked as if she was ready to walk the red carpet. To be sure it was very stylish, but somehow seemed out of place for a spring brunch.

The other was a truly scary looking leopard print number. It actually looked furry and not just the print. To finish her ensemble this fashion forward mom was wearing leather sandals with long, thin leather straps straps that wrapped many times around her spare legs.

You coulda cut glass on her cheekbones. She looked hungry starved.

But you could tell she thought she looked fabulous.

Did she?

Not so much-

She kinda looked like the love child of Raquel Welch in 1,ooo,ooo yrs. and Wilma Flintstone.

I’m not sure what her dress was actually made of, and I didn’t want to know.

For all I now it coulda been real leopard.

She stood a few feet back a couple of feet and watched detachedly as the nanny brought her son to our table to do sand art and make candles. I know she was the nanny because the boy told me she was.

And although most moms were just beaming yesterday when their little ones brought them their hand made Mother’s Day gift, this one stood their looking like she was smelling the armpit of a 12 yr. old boy.

I wanted to get up and go give her a good pinch and tell her to knock it off- it was Mother’s Day after all.  She should be able to muster up a smile one day a year. I assumed she’s a big fan of Victoria Beckham, also widely known for her dazzling smile.

I don’t know if she needed some industrial strength Ex-Lax or just a four hour orgasm but it was obvious she needed something.

Anyway I decided against it since there was no where to pinch.

And a slap was outta the question. I woulda broken her for sure; but this woman really pissed me off.

Just who brings their nanny to a Mother’s Day brunch?

There was only had 1 child after all. It wasn’t like she was the Octomom.

Anyway, I wish we had an event like that every weekend. It was held inside; 99% of the people were nice and the set-up and break down only took about 30 minutes. Plus we made a nice amount of $$.

And after we done we got to eat there too- for free.

You could cut the prime rib with a fork. And the horseradish sauce had butter in it.

It was fabulous.

As I was eating I was looking around to see if there was a defibrillator nearby, just in case; but if I had dropped dead after that meal it almost woulda been worth it.

When I exited the hotel there was new Lamborghini convertible with paper plates sitting right there.

My new car?

I walked over to check it out thinking perhaps Doug had hit the lotto, not told me and was surprising me with a new car.

It woulda made a great Bodaciousmobile.

Sadly, it was not to be.

But then how could I give up this sweet ride- a 1996 Mercury Villager-

I suppose too the sight of me trying to get out of a car that low to the ground wouldn’t be pretty.

But in attempt to put a positive spin on it we don’t have to worry about getting carjacked, which of course is always a plus.

Besides trying to keep the pack corralled in the Lamborghini while going to dog park probably woulda been problematic; so I suppose it’s just as well that sporty number wasn’t actually for me.

So I guess that’s it for now.

We just came out with a new piece of LP art for Ecofab. Photos of it and more Ecofab news next time.

For you young ones out there, please remember your mom on Sunday and do something nice for her, even if it’s just a call.  I think a lot of 20 somethings think that their mom’s still want “stuff” for Mother’s Day; but what most of the moms I know, moms that are in their late 50′s or 60′s really want is some time with you; preferably face-to-face but a nice call will do too if you can’t swing a visit.

A nice call- not one of these 20 second obligatory wonders:

“Hi. Happy Mother’s Day. Everything good with you? OK. Bye.”

My mom is gone now; and although our relationship wasn’t always perfect especially when I was an adult, there are times I still wish I had her to turn to.

Tell her thanks for sitting in the steamy bathroom with you at 2am when you had the croup.

Tell her thanks for not tying you to a tree at the rest stop and driving away when you were on that long vacation and you were “just being as boy”.

Tell her thanks for staying up and finishing your diorama of the Alamo.

Tell her thanks for scouring the city to buy another copy of the book you needed for your book report. The book you’d already lost twice.

Tell her thanks for not duct taping your mouth shut after your 500th smart ass response.

Tell her thanks for letting you have your own style, even if it was painful for her to watch.

Tell her thanks for doing the footnotes for your history paper.

Tell her thanks for putting her needs before your own- at least most of the time.

Tell her thanks for loving you even when you were being an ungrateful little shit and acting like a troll. (Which you know you were, at least some of the time.)

Just say thanks.

PS- And no interrupting or rolling of your eyes when she tells you the same story for the hundredth time.

Just smile.

It’s her day.

Saturday we were set up at the Dragon Boat Races. Doug was actually running the kid’s zone. I had an Ecofab Gifts booth.

Was it fabulous?

No; but it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Kinda.

Doug luxuriated in the middle of a 20′x20′ tent on grass. He was in deep shade and relatively comfortable.

I sat in a 10′x10′ which sizzled in the sun as it sat on concrete.  Due to the way the booth was oriented I was able to escape the sun for a little while. However, for a good portion of the day being in it was unavoidable. I’d put on sunscreen and wore a huge hat but still I caught some sun; and the last thing I want to do is look like that nutjob up in New Jersey.

Not my role model

Doug did kid’s activities and did OK; but it was one of the worst outtings ever for Ecofab. And the reason is still a mystery.

But I do know that sitting in a booth for hours in heat in the mid-90′s was unwonderful; and it was only May 5. I’m happy that for the next few months now the only regularly scheduled thing we have is at Discovery Green once a month.

Being outside in Houston from May-September is just not something you want to do, unless you’re one of those little old ladies who weigh about 85 lbs and can never seem to get warm. They wear sweaters here even in the summer.

The rest of us just sweat.

I cannot fathom ever turning into one of them. I suppose time will tell…

Anyway, enough about that.

Yesterday was Evelyn’s birthday. We celebrated by having a girls’ day out. (You can quit laughing now.) We included Amanda who is only 26 so we had a girl there.

Besides, you never hear of a croan’s day out.

There was much laughter and of course more than once Amanda had to tell me to lower my voice; but such is life. Doug is a low talker so I am a loud talker. So overall we balance each other out.

Doug is building a birdhouse for Evelyn for her birthday. Birdhouses are a new product line for Ecofab. It should be done by tomorrow. I’ll get a photo when it’s finished.

I wanted to get her a lap dance from one of the dancers from LaBare. As you might know I’d hired a dancer before for another friend; but Evelyn said no.

Sometimes she can be a real killjoy; but there’s always next year.

Instead after lunch we went to the Chocolate Bar, where a slice of cake there is literally 9″ tall.

It had been my intention to get everyone a huge, decadent dessert. However having just eaten lunch all Evelyn wanted was a cookie and all I got was a brownie covered with coconut and pecans which Amanda and I shared; then the rest went home to Doug.

Still it was enough.

Of course the eye candy that I’d first offered woulda been the heart-healthy choice; but it was Evelyn’s birthday; so she got to choose.

Now onto the news of the odd and disgusting…

Here’s a goodie for you…

EWWWWWWW………

Just who thinks that stuff up?

Fifty thousand $$ is a lot of money; but there is NO amount of money that would make me drink that. Nor would I lay in a coffin and be covered with snakes or hissing cockroaches.

Guess I’m just not the party animal I used to be; but then I don’t think I woulda participated in that stunt in my 20′s, back when I was crazyier.

This next story is about a topic that is quite important and gets too little attention. I’ve watched documentaries about it. It’s incomprehensible that in this day and time these atrocities are still going on; but they are.

Still, this was too much.

Or am I just getting soft in my sunset years?

Of course it did make the news and got a lot of people talking so perhaps it did what is was supposed to do.

But then I’d never have a cake made that looked like one of our pack either. I can’t imagine hacking into a cake that looked like Gizmo, or Lazer, or Daisy, or Blondie, or Blackie or Molly.

But maybe that’s just me.

Back to the funny next time.

Either they need to increase her food every day or she just has a severe case of LMS.

and if that wasn’t scary enough…

sit down and brace yourself before proceeding.

Doug and I saw this woman yesterday.

Believe it or not she is only 34 years old.

Obviously 34 must also be her IQ

I think if she did put her child in a tanning bed then she should be buggy whipped. (Although I doubt she’d feel a thing through that thick hide she has.)

She looks like a saddlebag with eyes.

I gotta go buy some sunscreen and more Oil of Olay.

See ya soon.

It’s Wednesday already.

We got home Monday afternoon, I petted the pack, threw some laundry in the washer and now it’s Wednesday. It seems I spent a whole day on the computer yesterday and I didn’t do one thing that could be construed as fun- no games, no blogs, no fun. I didn’t even go to CNN.com.

Why was I so busy?

Once I got back home I made a decision that was a long time coming.

I’m done with trying to figure out how to set up our new site or depend on the help of friends to do so.

It’s just too stressful.

My time is better spent creating pieces and calling on stores.

So I’ve hired someone who designs sites for a living to get the Ecofab Gifts site ready to launch.

You’d think that means that now I have nothing to do but sit back and wait like everyone else for the big reveal.

I thought it meant that.

I was wrong.

It seems now I’ve got more to do than ever- at least for the time being.

I had to redirect named servers. The copy has to be finalized. Most of the photos that I thought were so spectacular I have to reshoot. (It seems a number of them weren’t exactly in focus.)

Who knew?

Apparently too I have to learn how to use Google checkout. That’s the system that will track sales, payments and shipments. I’m pretty sure it’s like Paypal. To be honest I was just hoping that Dobby, the house elf, would take care of that part of the business; but he said no.

And Doug is many things, but an artist he is not, nor a computer guy.

I knew that I’d still have to make all the pieces; but I like working with colors making things.

But other than that I thought I’d be the Ecofab Gifts version of Suzanne Sugarbaker from Designing Women; I’d be breezing about having lunches with prospective clients doing PR and of course going to dog park.

I was wrong- again.

Apparently there is no rest for the wicked for I certainly see none for me in the foreseeable future anyway. But on the plus side I suppose I won’t have time for too many Long Island Iced Teas; and that’s probably a good thing.

I asked Jim (my new designer) for a new landing page for Ecofab Gifts yesterday. (It’s just a place holder til the new site is up.) And when I got up this morning, here it was

www. Ecofabgifts.com

It’s nothing special; but it’ll only be there for a few days. The point is he said he’d do it quickly and he did.

Now it’s all on me.

I feel like there is a giant foot on my throat.

Back to the funny next time.

So here you go:

It’s really hard to know what to say about this one.

Except I do know it’s hard to keep older folks warm.

Or perhaps they’re really nudists and just wanted to spare the rest of us a view of their sagging flesh. All I know if that her boobs are perkier than mine and somehow that seems just wrong.

I just love it though they took the time to accessorize- a bumbershoot, hats and gloves, not to mention she’s wearing pumps.

Tres chic.

Talk amongst yourselves.

You know the old adage “With age comes wisdom.”?

Don’t believe it.

It isn’t true.

But more on that in a bit.

First an update.

I’m sitting in a Ramada Inn in Austin as I write this. We came up to Austin to work the Wiener Dog races in Buda, a suburb of Austin. I have to be up at 6:30am so why am I writing this at 3:56am?

Because I can’t sleep.

I feel like hammered shit.

My shoulder is killing me, I have pains radiating down my arm and shooting out my fingertips and I have the headache from Hell; and I have to work a 12 hour day today. The shoulder pain is from the literally100K faces that I painted over a 35 yr. career of face painting. And that number is not an exaggeration, hence the arthritis.

More on the headache in a bit.

First an explanation.

We’d wanted to get at least a somewhat early start for Austin yesterday, get set up early, and have the afternoon off. Doug of course was hoping for motel sex.

That was the plan anyway.

Did we?

Not so much. Which means we actually got outta town about 2pm. Now the reason why.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I have had horrible nightmares and once I awaken from them I can’t go back to sleep. I think it’s just stress from finally making the decision to take the Ecofab Gifts site live.

Anyway, Thursday night I didn’t sleep well at all yet again and when I woke up yesterday I was exhausted. I got online early and at about 8 am I thought I’d lay down for just a minute. When I woke up again it was after 10. So we were already behind. And when I was done with dog sitter, we put some color on my hair, and by the time Doug had the van loaded like the Joad’s in the Grapes of Wrath it was pushing three.

Yeah I know I probably shouldn’t have taken the time to color my hair, but I still have at least a little vanity and it hadn’t been done it 4 months. Not that the roots were that discernible but it helps it look shiny again.

What is it with that anyway?

You get old and your hair, if you have any, just lays there like a dead carp; and I have lotsa hair, hair to spare; and when it doesn’t look shiny it just looks like a nutria climbed up on my head and died.

It’s a bad thing.

Anyway, we knew we had to be set up in Buda yesterday so we opted to skip lunch figuring that we’d eat in Austin as soon as we got there.

Did we?

Not so much, which in this instance means not at all.

On the way there about halfway through our trip the van started making a Helluva of a noise. At first  I thought we’d had a flat. However after Doug stopped the car we saw nothing, so on we went- but more slowly. The sound wasn’t as bad at lower speeds. Then about 20 miles later in West Bumfuck the tire blew altogether.

For most people traveling this is no big deal. But for us it meant Doug had to unload the entire van to get to the spare. And it just wasn’t Ecofab stuff, which is lightweight. This was sand and glass, hundreds of lbs. of stuff. I felt bad for him but knew there was nothing I could do to help with my boogered up shoulder.

Then the jack broke.

I’ve never knew a jack could even break.

Buy the time it was all said and done we got set up in Buda about 7:30 last night. And by set up I mean everything unloaded. It’s not set up yet. We have to be set up in about 3 hours now.

Needless to say we were hungry by this time. So we stopped at Furr’s an all you can eat cafeteria. We got there at 8:20 and they closed at 8:30. So we went through the line loading our trays like John Belushi in Animal House like our pants were on fire and ate  like we were going to walk the Green Mile in the next five minutes. It was a lot of food; but we were starving and hadn’t eaten all day.

In the meantime Brett had called and said a guy at the club where he was going to DJ last night wanted some wall art.  Never wanting to miss a sale we decided to stop there on the way to the Ramada. When I arrived they said Brett was upstairs.

He was-  way, way up.

I passed a mountain goat as I trudged up the multiple flights of stairs lugging a box of wall art and holding a portfolio which had about 25 other pieces. I was holding the rail with 1 hand praying I didn’t fall. Doug was circling in the car, or so I thought. There’d been nowhere to park since 6th st. was already getting crowded with douchebags. (Apparently those are the only people that go to 6th st. according to Austinites.)

Remember stairs are not my friend after I fell down an entire flight about 5 years ago and went splat on the tile in our entry.

Eventually I got to the nosebleed zone and made the sale. The neon was flashing and the music was deafening, not to mention I didn’t even recognize the music. It was like a bad flashback.

Then Brett had me follow him to a different part of the club, the room where he was playing. He was playing disco remixes and if he almost yelled at least I could understand him. He said his dad had called and would be back in a bit so I should just chill. To enhance my chillness Brett went and got me two drinks.

I hadn’t asked for them and coulda refused them but not wanting to be ungracious I drank them.

In quick succession.

Was it a good idea?

Not so much.

They were Long Island Iced Teas.

I knew better; but I was getting into the music and had an attack of the stupids. And I hadn’t had 1 of those in a really  long time- over a year I think.

The only good news is that soon thereafter I started making my way down from the Heavens.  Brett carried the box and I gripped that handrail like grim death. Another 20 minutes and I couldn’t have gotten down alone. That is a fact.

By the time I got in the car I was feeling pleasantly buzzed and thought perhaps once we got to the room I would reward Doug for having worked so hard.

Did I?

Not so much.

We got to the room at 10:30 and by mistake there were 2 beds. He laid down on one and fell asleep. I fell asleep on the other.

He’s still asleep. I woke up at 2 am with a splitting headache and feeling like Mel Gibson in Bravehart when they have him on the rack. I wouldn’t be surprised if at any time my right arm just falls to the floor.

I guess that’s it for now.

So young ones here’s another adage for you- do as I say, not as I do.

I think I have to go throw up now.

I spent the morning and early afternoon setting up different ways to hang and photograph them. The extra bedroom that Doug turned into a “studio” really isn’t set up as one which made the task all the harder. And of course Doug built the box to withstand a direct hit by a nuclear bomb.

I can’t tell you why he did it that way; but that he did is no surprise to anyone that knows him.

The good news is of course is that that damn box will still be here long after Doug, I, our children and their children have long departed this mortal coil. I must remember to designate just who gets it in my will. I’d hate the kids to fight over it later.

So the structure itself inhibits some of the light that I needed for the photos.  And on top of that we have an amalgamation of different kinds of lights with different kinds of bulbs. Some are fluorescent, some are incandescent, some are full spectrum.

Doug had gotten the tripod at a resale shop and it looked like a good deal til I actually attempted to attach the camera to it. The top bracket couldn’t be tightened, rendering it useless. It’s as if someone wrung it’s neck; and after my day yesterday I can understand the feeling.

Then after I finally had things jerry rigged and I was ready to begin I stepped on a tiny shard of dog bone that had been laying in wait for me, hiding in the carpeting. (That’ll teach me to be barefoot.)

It was probably just karmic payback for the times I left my jacks out in the hallway on the hardwood floor when I was a kid. Invariably my grandfather would step on one late at night on the way to the bathroom.

Actually I’m glad that I found it before one of the pack did. Still, it hurt big time.

Anyway I spent a few hours taking photos and overall wasn’t too displeased with them. (I am of course an amateur when it comes to photography.) Then though I thought perhaps I should look at the on the computer just to be sure.

And what did I find?

Was it Waldo?

No, no, no.

That woulda been infinitely better.

What I discovered was that the piece of poster board I had in the back had slipped down without my noticing; and now was in each photo, making the background look all crazy. I’d been so focused on the earrings I hadn’t noticed the background which had gone all to Hell.

For a little while I tried to convince myself that I could pass off the photos with the crazy backgrounds as “arty”; but try hard as I could I couldn’t even sell that to myself so I knew that wasn’t going to work.

So I knew they all had to re-done.

And just like last summer I cursed like a demented pirate on crack.

I even made up some new words.

And to make my day even more fun, even though I had the AC set on nuclear winter I was still sweating like a snowcone in Phoenix.

Do the hot flashes ever stop?

They started over 10 years ago now. Enough already.

Anyway, Doug had said it was really cold in the house. However I really didn’t believe him til I noticed Lazer, our Siberian, curled up in a tight ball with his tail over his nose like he was sleeping at night while out on the trail during the Iditarod.

I then was forced to admit the house was on the cool side, but I was hot, and frustrated, so the thermostat stayed right where it was and Doug knew better than to complain about it again.

Vowing never wanting to make that mistake again, I decided to just lay the earrings flat for the photos. So I started clicking away.

We have earrings that I’ve painted. They’re like the bracelet I posted yesterday. But most of our earrings now are made from the actual LP labels. Here are a couple of photos for you:

BTW- The black on the bottom is where the labels end and the plain black vinyl begins.

So I guess that’s it for now.  I have to go make a pair into clip-ons for a woman who bought a pair last weekend.

Please send any extra energy and patience you have. I’m running low on both.

I hope all is well with all of you. I know I have been conspicuously absent lately. However as the old adage goes, I’ve been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

Amanda, Doug and I spent most of yesterday afternoon at Home Depot buying materials that we’ll need for props in the photos for Ecofab Gifts. She’s  the art director.  Doug doesn’t understand her vision. However he’s going along with the flow. He has the light box set up. Evelyn is coming over today to enter everything into inventory after each piece is photographed.

We’re finally, finally really close.

And I am terrified.

I’ve been self-employed since God was a child; but I’ve never had an online business.

What if I seriously screw it up?

I just hope everyone will be patient while the kinks, of which I’m sure will be quite numerous, get worked out.

So while I’m running around with my hair on fire today, I’m just gonna share some stuff I found here and there.

Once again there is no rhyme or reason between them, so don’t look. You’ll just hurt yourself.

So here you go…

I don’t know exactly what he did but she looks seriously pissed.

And because I have all the maturity of a twelve year boy I give you a photo of the oft ignored backside of Mt. Rushmore:

This is a truism for sure. Too bad a lot of the people that irritate you that much don’t even understand it when you use it with them.

On the plus side it’s good to know that at least some people somewhere might still consider me a chick.

On the negative side, it’s him.

Anyway, in the photo she looks pretty happy. I’m guessing he was a gentleman and made sure her train got to station before his; but from the look of it, his got derailed before it did as well.

And now something nice to close with…

Obviously he didn’t know how to make the coffee.

So what is the topic of today’s post?

Animals of course.

So I hope all of you like it.

And those of you who don’t can just chew on a big chunk of baking chocolate. That should keep you busy for awhile and be nice and bitter to match your mood too.

In the meantime for the rest of us here we go-

I know I wish I had some of whatever this pup got into:

Is there a canine equivalent of catnip?

Anyway he’d better be careful because if he gets caught with wacky weed he couldn’t get into the Dog Scouts of America.

Yes, they’re real.

Here’s something I’ve never seen before. That bunny is on a mission for sure.

Now onto the Corgi rodeo. What can I say? I’m easily amused.

Not really being a cat person I was surprised to see a cat do this. I thought it was sweet. Is this normal cat behavior?

Now that summer is almost upon us here yet again, Lazer would do this in a heartbeat if I gave him the chance. Of course he’s huge compared to Luna. So I don’t think he’d actually fit, not unless I took out a shelf, but he’d try if I gave him a chance. He’s ready to spend the summer somewhere cooler.

Not sure just exactly what these primates are looking for; but apparently monkeys are extremely discerning when it comes to clothing:

Either that or a couple of them are just trying to make a break for it by stowing away in the roof top carrier.

I like this photo. You can almost see what he’s thinking-

“I’ve almost got it!”

And finally here’s one of those stories that just makes you go “Awwwww…..”

So I guess that’s it for now.

Doug is heading to Austin to get Brett and set up tomorrow at the San Antonio kid’s festival. I’m staying here and setting up Ecofab Gifts at Discovery Green. Keep your fingers crossed for us. We need a couple of good shows. Things have been less than wonderful lately business wise. The weather has really been against us at all our events and the website has still not gone live. Good thing I have thick hair or by now I’d be bald from pulling it all out.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed all the animals.

Remember how sweet this was because I have something much less so coming next week. Back to the bizarre soon.

Ours sucked the big wahoo.

We went to Austin for an event.

It was a bust.

Big time.

So we drove home having actually lost money. Thank God that hasn’t happened in awhile. We’ve got one of our regular events this weekend.

And now I’ve got Doug laying on the bed next to me all doped up on Vicodin. He had outpatient surgery on his big toe this morning. He’d had an ingrown toenail for awhile and hadn’t been doing anything about it, obviously hoping it’d go away on it’s own or some such nonsense.

Anyway by the time I saw it last Thursday, it was as big as his fist.

Not actually of course; but it was gigantic- and oozing blood and pus. I took a photo an emailed it to the Dr. He wanted Doug to go to the ER; but there was no way Doug was gonna do that and wait for hours. So instead the Dr. put Doug on antibiotics and scheduled the procedure for this morning.

How Doug had kept it hidden for so long I do not know. I’m surprised he could even get that ginormous toe into a shoe.

Sorry about that.

I know that was disgusting. (But hey I spared you the photo.)

However I have a reason for describing it.

Why is it that men will wait til something has gotten to that point before seeking medical help?

Obviously I don’t mind at all being Florence Nightingale for him, but it’d be a lot more fun if he wasn’t actually boogered up; but such is life. Hopefully by tomorrow he’ll be at least somewhat back to normal.

In the meantime I thought I’d just share an amalgamation of things I’ve found online. Some are funny, some are strange, some just informative.

So here we go:

On the plus side this guy will never have to worry about his wife running around on him.

On the minus side, I suppose there wasn’t a wedding night. At least I really hope there wasn’t.

Obviously it just wasn’t this coyote’s day to leave this mortal coil. I wonder if I could get him to buy my next Powerball ticket.

This clip was sent to me in an email. It was called “The most popular ride at the Texas State Fair.”

That title was incorrect.

I discovered that this stunt was part of the movie Jackass 2. Not surprising since Johnny Knoxville et al are widely known to exercise good judgment.

I’d never have thought as Buckyballs as dangerous to anyone. Til now.

This clip shows there’s no shortage of jackasses anywhere.

I’ll close with one of the most bizarre clips that I’ve ever seen, anywhere. Is there no Child Protective Services is Japan?

So I guess that’s it for now.

It’s a cute game,  fun and appropriate for all ages. There’s nothing untoward that you’d ever have to explain to anyone. You could play it with the minister of your church or your grandmother.

However this time a new game was brought to Evelyn’s.

It’s Cards Against Humanity, which the developers of the game call “A party game for horrible people.” Apparently it’s been out a few months, but as always seems to be the case I find out about the newest thing way after most everyone else does.

But just in case there are some other people that haven’t heard about it, I thought I’d share our experiences.

It’s played just like Apples to Apples.

But could you play Cards Against Humanity with your grandmother or your minister?

Not so much.

Well perhaps you could if they were very, very, very open minded; but even then there would probably have to be a lot of explanations given.

And although I consider myself pretty with it for being a dinosaur, there were a couple of things that had to be explained even to me. Luckily I’m not easily shocked.

But do NOT be confused:

This game is only for those who can suspend all sense of decency and morals. If you are uncomfortable talking about bodily functions or sex this probably isn’t the game for you.

It is sick.

And twisted.

SERIOUSLY sick and twisted.

Please believe me when I tell you this.

It is also the funniest game that I have ever played.

Here’s one review I read.

Altogether we were a group of 8 who sat down to play. Our ages ranged from 23 to 62. There were straight people, gay people, men and women, married people and unmarried people. The group was quite diverse.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but by the end of the first question I knew this was going to be different than anything I’d played before. I’ve never seen Evelyn laugh so hard; and one member of our group, a PhD who’s normally pretty reserved, broke into damn near uncontrollable shrieks of laughter.

A number of people have posted reviews.  In some of them they posted photos of questions and possible answers so I thought I’d share so you can more easily understand-

Those are some of the more tame answers.

Here’s another example:

Still not too bad.

I mean who hasn’t heard of a vajazzled vagina after all?

OK. Now for those of you who haven’t gone running trying to wash their eyes out and attempt to permanently delete Bodacious Boomer from their computers and brain I will continue with a few more examples.

Be aware some of these are let’s say of a more adult nature.

Here’s a set of possible answers. (I didn’t see the question that prompted them though.)

Here’s  another I found online that someone had posted:

And just in case you think I’m the only one who likes it, here are the reviews from Amazon- they are all 4 or 5 star- mostly 5 star. I’ve never seen ratings like that before for a game.

Some of the other reviews I read call it “Hilariously awkward.”, “Good for those with a dark sense of humor.”, “Political incorrectness taken to a whole new level.”

The game has 500 cards so you can play a long time without ever seeing the same card twice. We played for almost two hours and only made it half way through the deck; so I’m sure I probably haven’t seen the most outrageous of the cards yet.

It sells out as fast as they can print it. However the good news is that you can download it and print it yourself if you don’t want to wait for it to come back in stock. Personally I’m just waiting for it to come back in stock.

So there you go.

Just choose the players carefully, don’t have any children nearby while playing and when you’re done remember that none of you are really that sick and twisted in real life and you’ll be fine.

Has anyone else played already played it?

I’ve never had a Jewish friend (not that there’s anything wrong with that) or even had a Jewish meal.

The closest I’ve come is eating the occasional Reuben.

The point is I’m pretty ignorant about anything Jewish.

So if Happy Passover is the wrong say to say, please forgive me.

But to everyone else I’d like to say Happy Easter. I hope your Easter was everything you’d hoped. (Our Easter day is going to be somewhat different than most other people’s’ but more that later.)

Now I’m going to assume that by now everyone is finished with their Easter Egg hunts, church and familial obligations and is ready to laugh at what some  most, might  most definitely will consider politically incorrect Easter humor.

(It’s OK to laugh a little; no one’s watching.)

First, off a Peep Show.

I love the pasties and G-strings on the bunnies.

Next a church sign that has a double entendre. I wonder if it was intentional or did someone regret that wording later.

This isn’t politically incorrect; but I thought it was funny anyway.

Here’s another totally different way of thing about Peeps- something kinda cute from Mental Floss.

Now to finish up here’s a video clip of a guy doing a review of Easter toys that he deems inappropriate.

I agree that edible Easter grass does seem like a really bad idea; and some of the others just seem strange.

Do you?

P.S. Remember kiddos- don’t forget to floss.

I found my loins (no small task) girded them snugly and pulled myself up outta the gloom.

Or it just coulda been the increase in my meds…

All I know is that once again I’m feeling more like myself, and that’s a good thing.

Well I think so anyway.

Of course those few others who don’t fully appreciate my delightful snarkiness might not be so happy by my return to whatever is my normal; but they shouldn’t be here anyway.

So if you’re one of them, please leave.

Not too much has been going on in my life this past week, so today’s post will just be a amalgamation of different things.

Please don’t look for any continuity.

There isn’t any.

Doing so will just give you a headache.

Just sit back, relax and eat a Peep.

As I’ve gotten older sometimes my words get all jumbled about. I know it’s not just me. This happens to almost everyone I know who’s this age from time to time. So I don’t get nearly as freaked out about it as I used to.

Still, realizing that I have this problem now has prevented me from taking up a life a crime; which all in all it’s probably a good thing; because if I did this is probably what I’d say when I ran into the bank:

Whenever we have pancakes and bacon I always  take the bacon and put it between the pancakes so I get a bit of each in each bite. Doug thinks I’m crazy for doing that; but after seeing this photo it seems I’m not the only one who likes it.

Now these are just wrong on so many levels… unless you’re in the ballet I suppose.

After much deep thought on the subject I’ve surmised that this woman was a germaphobe.

Or perhaps she taught a Buns of Steel class, in which case I am totally impressed. If neither of those statements are true then this was just an unfortunate photo.

And to close I’ll share some words of wisdom from everyone’s favorite nonagenarian-

So I guess that’s it for now. I really want to thank everyone who came by to say hi and left me such kind words of support when I was so down. It really meant a lot to me.

See ya around kiddos…

Sorry I dropped off the radar for awhile.

I’m fine.

Really.

I’ve just been down in the snout so to speak and really haven’t felt like doing much of anything.

The the strange thing is I can’t really understand why.

Things at Ecofab are fine. Doug and I are getting along just fine. As far as I know everyone is healthy.

I should be happy.

Yet I still feel like getting into a hole and staying there for awhile.

It’s like one of the Dementors from Harry Potter paid me a visit.

But I’m not suicidal.

I’m just really, really tired and have a hard time getting motivated to do anything right now; and I have a list of about 30 things that I really need to do- people to call, things to ship, appointments to make.

When I went back of the Effexor last year the Dr. actually instructed me to take it 2x a day. However, not wanting to take any more meds than absolutely necessary I’ve only been taking it 1x a day.

I’m considering going ahead and starting to take it 2x a day to see if that helps.

We spent this past weekend at Paws in the Park, a dog festival. Usually I’m like a kid in a candy shop at a dog event. I even painted rainbow on dogs. People act like they’d never seen a dog with a painted face before.

Obviously they’d all been living in caves somewhere.

Anyway, usually being around that many canines makes me crazy happy.

This weekend though not so much.

The highlight of the festival was the dock diving.

For those unfamiliar with the sport I will illustrate:

Watching it is a lot of fun-usually.

The dogs that are into it are REALLY into it and many of them act like they’re just gonna explode if they can’t run and jump off that dock ASAP. The winning jump last weekend was just under 20′.

But the jump that everyone was talking about though was a somewhat shorter jump.

It was only 4’5″ in fact.

A dachshund did it.

And I missed it. I was painting a face instead.

They even had dogs running agility.

And a basset competed.

I missed that too. But I seen one run before.

It’s a hoot.

It’d be like watching me doing it.

Here’s a clip of that- a basset, not me, running agility.

Believe me when I tell you he did a much better job than I would have.

Although he didn’t get the best time, the basset I saw got a standing ovation anyway.

He got an A+ for effort.

So I guess that’s it for now.

I’m gonna give myself 1 more day for my pity party. If I’m not over it by then I’ll be calling in a priest, wizard or colonic irrigation specialist to rid me whatever ails me.

Back to the funny next time kiddos.

So here you go. Be prepared to smile…

For God’s sake someone please put this pup in some water.

Since I’m not really a cat person I was amazed by this:

Do cats really do that?

This is a very proud mama indeed…

>

Do you remember Clark Griswold? He’s a You Tube superstar with over 100,000,000 hits.

This is a follow up someone did.

I thought it was cute anyway.

Of course without a doubt the most fun time to find it is late at night, when the lights off and you’re barefoot.

There’s nothing quite like having warm barf squeezing through your toes at 2 am to make you appreciate the simple things in life like those nights when it isn’t..

If we could only train our furry ones to throw in the potty…

Now with that disclaimer outta the way I can continue.

It’s been almost 4 months since I posted a photo for the Bizarrometer. And sadly the truly great AKA bizarre, photos that I had stashed away to share are still locked up in my old Toshiba POS that’s at Nate and Amanda’s. Perhaps one day Nate will able to use his mojo to get them out for me. However, in the meantime I feel I must forge ahead anyway with hopes that one day I’ll be able to access them again.

So here we go.

I know this isn’t nearly as bizarre as some have been in the past. Some of them have been truly funny, AKA disturbing. Sorry I don’t have something more interesting AKA troubling to share. I know how much some of you look more unique AKA sick and twisted individuals really forward to them.

Still, I thought this was pretty strange; and I came across this totally by accident too. I would never have thought to Google it; but then I love camping about as much as getting a colonoscopy without anesthesiaso perhaps this unusual duo is easily found if you’re into that sort of thing- camping, that is.

Anyway, I wonder just who comes up with this stuff?

I know when I was camping with the girl scouts  many, many moons ago we didn’t use anything like this. When we made smores we just stuck a marshmallow on the end of a branch to melt it and called it good. Times certainly have changed.

This unique camping accessory may make another appearance in December in Unforgettable Gifts. I imagine if you this was opened up while everyone was sitting around the Christmas tree it’d make for some unforgettable Christmas discourse for sure.

So is this bizarre, or is it just me?

*As always if you want to look at any of the old entries for the Bizarrometer all you have to do is go to the sidebar and click on Bizzarometer.

I let Doug go in first to take the first wave of dog love. After 5 minutes he put them out back to stretch their paws and use the facilities. Then when they were out I came in and sat down. And although I’d said not a word they knew I was there and in just a few seconds three dogs were up on their hind legs looking in the back door. Then the barking really ensued. Doug let them in and in a flash I was engulfed by a sea of fur and licking tongues.

The twins were in front of me. Laser, not wanting to wait, hopped up on the chair behind me put his paws around me and start licking the top of my head. Daisy stayed on the couch waiting her turn barking vociferously.

It’s good to be loved.

Now if I could only get Doug to get that demonstrative…

In fact Blondie loved me so much I actually have a claw mark on my chest. I look like I’ve been playing slap and tickle with Wolverine.

Gizmo stayed the entire time at Miss Bunny’s Dog Spa. So Doug is out now picking him up and delivering an apple strudel to Evelyn. Evelyn and I had decided before I left that we were going to have to start being good again- food wise and going to the gym once I returned (no snarky remarks plz) so I hope she enjoys it.

The house looked just the same too. I was hoping that Dobby, the house elf, might’ve dropped by and worked his magic so I’d return to house beautiful; but that was not to be. Still it was great to be home and back in our own bed.

Now the wrap up from SxSW-

Did it wind up being the huge deal we expected?

Not exactly.

In fact, if you factor in all the expenses and the numbers of hours working, we probably only made minimum wage when all was said and done.

We didn’t come home with a boatload of cash. That’s for sure.

However while we were there unexpectedly I picked up two new boutiques.  The first one came from a referral from a man I met while set up at Maria’s Taco Express.  He suggested I contact Oo La La. It’s a gift shop in Pflugerville, a suburb just north of Austin and located about 3 blocks from his house. I did just that and when we went for a meeting the next morning, the owner bought on the spot. She also mentioned that’s she opening another location in a resort town soon. So we’ll have stuff there as well.

The owner of the second shop approached me when I was set up behind Hey Cupcake on Saturday. She asked if sold to boutiques. Of course I said yes and proceeded to help her pick out an assortment of pieces for her store 4 bags, which is located on the eastern shore of Mobile bay in Alabama. While we were talking she casually mentioned that she also had a job.

And what was this job?

She’s a VP at MTV networks!

This MTV:

She said it so casually it took a moment to actually register in my brain. Then she said “We could include these in the gift baskets to the artists.”I tried to remain cool and collected on the outside which was difficult because on the inside I was doing this:

MTV Networks also owns CMT, which puts on their own CMT awards.

Soooooo, needless to say after meeting her I was pretty happy that we’d gone to Austin for SxSW after all. I’m supposed to get in touch with her later this week.

I guess that the news that’s news for now. Today we’re trying to get our oars all going in the same direction again after being away for so long. We’d emptied out most of the frig before we left; so all that’s in there is assorted condiments, a couple of petrified oranges and a mystery Tupperware container which contains something mysterious that looks totally inedible.

In fact it doesn’t look like it was ever edible.

I have no intention of opening it- ever.

Life is just too short to do some things and opening that Tupperware is one of them.

So I’d better go for now. Perhaps I can locate a superfund site and sneak that Tupperware in before Doug returns and insists we open it. Perhaps the EPA will know what to do with it.

Back to the funny next time I promise.

It’s depressing.

So if you’re already feeling down feel free to stop now and come back tomorrow.

We just got back to our hotel room and I’m eating Little Debbie Easter cakes like I’m going to walk the Green Mile to the electric chair in about 10 minutes.

I’d be drowning my sorrows in a vat of Long Island Iced Teas but I can’t afford it.

Literally.

We’ve been here 3 days.

I’ve worked three days; and I’ve made a total of $330.

That’s not enough, not nearly enough.

I’m almost covering our daily out of pocket expenses; but that’s certainly not why we came.

We were expecting to pick up a big check today for a delivery we made, only to be told that “I’ll mail you your check in 30 days as we discussed.”

It was never actually discussed; and there was no point in discussing it at this point.

So that’s how the day started.

Still we were optimistic.

Aussie’s was supposed to be good.

Emphasis on the word was.

It was horrid.

I sat there almost all day and made a total of 1 sale.

The good news is that that piece of wall art will soon be hanging in a house in Seoul, Korea.

The bad news is that every band that played where I was today screamed.

In Korean.

Somehow hearing screaming in foreign language made it worse. And throughout the day their audience was never more than 10 people; which meant there was more of the awfulness floating through the air that my poor ears were subjected to.

I was not a fan; and I already was wearing ear plugs.

Apparently what I really I needed those sound canceling headphones they use on the tarmac at the airport or on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

But then I’m not a fan of anyone screaming in any language and trying to pawn it off as music to me.

I wasn’t a fan of Janis Joplin back in the late 60′s. To me she always sounded like she was having a hysterectomy without anesthesia.

After sitting there for 6 hours today I told Doug I had to get outta there for a bit. It was that or I was gonna hurt someone; and I had no scissors to run with either.

So I had the vendor next to me watch our booth while  I went to check out another location where I was told we could go tomorrow.

Thank God we went tonight. The spot was in Bumfuck North Austin, way away from where anything SxSW would been going on.

On the way there we saw a sad thing. A young girl was face down on the Drag (Guadalupe St. where UT is located.) She’d fallen off her bike. Her head was laying in a pool of blood.

It was terribly sad and coulda been so easily prevented if she’d just been wearing a helmet; but most kids that age think they are invincible. That nothing bad will ever happen to happen. There bodies will be perfect forever.

When I was in my early 20′s one day my mom said “Where’s your bra?”

“At home I don’t need one.”

Sadly that stupid statement of my youth haunts me every time I get outta the shower these days.

Aah the stupidity of youth…

Anyway, tomorrow we are going back to Maria’s to see how it goes there. The crowds have finally descended upon the city so if it’s not busy there tomorrow, that’ll be it for us.

I can’t wait to get home so I can get back to the pack and hopefully the funny.

I need it.

In the meantime please keep your fingers crossed for us.

From now til the end of the week the chance of rain is only 20%. You all may now stop chanting and invoking whatever deities to get the weather to change for us.

It worked; and thanks for that.

First off I’ll be at Maria’s Taco Express today. So if you’re in Austin please swing by and say hi.  Send you friends. Doug will be gone making deliveries and helping Brett so I’ll be all alone.

What a shocker that is.

Anyway, I should be set up there by 11.

Someone broke into the Handshakes trailer recently and Doug is going to be helping Brett get things back the way they were.

Now SxSW news, so to speak.

On the way to the hotel I saw a band playing. Nothing new really, especially here, especially now.

Except they were playing on top of a moving bus.

The mom in me was scared for them.

I hope they were somehow secured; but I didn’t see anything. (Good thing their moms didn’t see them.)

We were At Handshakes yesterday and a guy rode up on a mule.

Apparently the man is known as the 6th st. Cowboy and is somewhat well known around here.

The mule was very nice.

The man was too.

Having decided that we should eat at least one healthy thing a day, yesterday I’d bought an apple for us.

And since they wouldn’t let the mule into Cheer Up Charlies where Handshakes was located I decided to give her our apple.

BTW- When mules eat apples they look kinda rabid. Do not be afraid.

She seemed to really enjoy the apple. Besides, she couldn’t drink through a straw anyway and Brett didn’t have a bucket big enough for her to enjoy a shake. Although I think she woulda enjoyed the Good Morning since it has lots of oatmeal in it.

The last big news is about the Homeless Hot Spots.

Big brouhaha going on about it.

Are you yea or nay on it?

Mother Nature finally turned off the spigot just before noon yesterday. While on our way to Maria’s we stopped on S. Congress to see what was going on there. The lot behind Hello Cupcake had vendors setting up ready to take advantage of the good weather and sell to the tourists who’d been locked in their rooms for the past two days due to inclement weather.

Although I didn’t think I really had a chance of scoring a spot I located the guy running the lot and asked if he had any spots available for the day. As it turns out he’d just had a cancellation. I had the booth fee in his hand before he finished talking.

I was thrilled.

This was a much better location than Maria’s; and I expected that we’d kick butt and take names, so to speak.

Did we?

Not so much.

Why?

I have no idea.

But what I do know is that it just wasn’t us. No one in the lot did well; and no one knows why.

It wasn’t like we actually lost money; but it certainly wasn’t what we expected.

The highlight of my day was when the son of friend came to see me. Charlie, son of Susan from Susan Says, was in town for SxSW and came by to meet me. He was so sweet, and tall, and looks just like his mom. Since he was new to town I called Brett to ask him exactly where Charlie should head that night to have a good time and get a real feel for what Austin is all about.

I already knew to steer him clear of 6th street, which every Austinite will tell you is where the tourists and douchebags congregate en masse. (Of course those groups are not necessarily mutually exclusive of course.)

I haven’t gotten a report back from Charlie. I hope he had a good time.

Of course Doug left me alone all day to go “check things out” as he always does. He didn’t say he’d be gone all day, but he was-again. Eventually I got tired of starving and caved in to temptation and went to the closest place to get sustenance. You gotta eat after all.

Here’s where I went-

It’s the Cutie Pie Wagon. It’s a petite purveyor of pint-sized pies. (The trailer is no more than about 4′x8′.) As you can see it’s painted hot pink and has feather boas, not to mention some really great tiny pies. The Pie Queen AKA head baker, sits inside wearing a tiara.

How Austin is that?

I had one of her coconut cream pies.  And yes I ate the whole thing; but it was only 4″.

It was goooood.

After much discussion with some locals I’ve realized that the big crowd for SxSW will descend upon Austin Tuesday night. The last 4 days Wed.- Sat are the big days. So Doug and I have decided to take today and probably tomorrow off. Instead of setting up somewhere we’re gonna make a few deliveries and take some time for ourselves. Then we should be well rested to hit it hard starting again on Wed.

One bit of news- I finally did the ECOFAB gits Facebook page set up. When you get a minute please pop by and give us a “like”. (I’m not feeling the love yet.) For that matter please stop by the Bodacious page too. (Not feeling the love there either.)

So before I go I wanted to share one other thing that is quintessential Austin. Leslie Cochran, the man who personified the “Keep Austin Weird” movement died.  In a lot of cities people ignore or denigrate the homeless; but Austinites embraced Leslie and his flamboyant ways. Everyone knew Leslie.A memorial service was held yesterday for him. Local media covered his service, no small thing in a city so busy with all things SxSW.

No one could wear a thong like Leslie…

I guess that’s it for now.

See you manana.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

The good news is that we finally got here last night.

However we’d planned to arrive Thursday night.

But Mother Nature decided to bless the Austin area with rain- lotsa rain- Noahesque rain; and there was no point in heading up here just to sit in a hotel room for two days with no chance to make any money selling ECOFAB goodies.

Of course Doug woulda been thrilled to be away from home with nothing to do but wait; but when I’m super stressed slap n tickle is the last thing on my mind. How is it that guys can just turn off the stress and focus everything on the physical like that? It’s like they can just flip a switch or something.

Amazing…

Anyway, all the outdoor events had been cancelled. And it wasn’t that it was just wet. It was cold too- in the low 40′s; and no one wants to be out and about in that. It was nasty.

I saw this on a friend’s Facebook page:

No truer words exist.

But Texas weather is like that. It’s still rainy and cool this morning. It’s supposed to be sunny and 80 tomorrow.

When we got into town I gave Brett a call. He was DJing at Shangri-La for the Lamebook party.

You might remember I’d been there before, a couple of years ago.

I never pass up a chance to see my furry kiddo, even if we have to almost scream at each other to be heard because the music he was playing was loud enough to register on a seismometer.

After that we went on the hotel. I assembled earrings and Doug inserted clock mechanisms into our shaped LP’s. (No  swinging from the chandeliers last night, just more work.) We now also have wall art shaped like the adapters you have to use to play an old 45.

For you truly young ones out there you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. I will  illustrate:

I was going to post a photo of one of our new pieces today. However, I’m not putting them out til the rain is over; so you’ll just have to wait on that.

Hopefully it should start clearing starting about noon. So we’re going today and setting up. We should be there about 11 or so. And then when the weather clears we’ll be ready.

The bad news is that Maria’s closes at 2pm today. So after that I’ll have to find somewhere else for us to go.

Then we’ll be back at Maria’s Monday morning set up ready to go at 8am again. We’ll be there til 3. After that we’ll relocate again.

So I guess that’s it for now. I’m gonna try to take photos and post every day while we’re here. (Don’t know how much time I’ll have to go visiting though so don’t be surprised if you don’t see me at your place.)

I’ll be tweeting as Ecofab. So if you want to know exactly where we’ll be check out our Ecofab Facebook page or just watch for my tweets. If everyone could tell their friends where we’ll be every day I’d appreciate it. This weather has really thrown us way behind and we really need to sell lots while we’re here.

In the meantime though I want to share something.

It’s helped me a lot. They’re words to live by…

(I know I probably just saved some of you a lot of $$.)

So if any of you are in Austin for SxSW please stop by and say hi.

Se ya soon.

We had a huge wildfire.

We never have wildfires.

Rivers disappeared- literally; and some people speculated that it might not ever really rain here again.

Crops in the fields withered and cattle died; farmers and ranchers prayed.

They weren’t the only ones.

Still it seemed as if Mother Nature had turned a deaf ear. It was as if she was seriously pissed off at Texas.

But finally she took pity and awhile back turned on the sprinkler- big time.

I need her to turn it off.

Just for the next 10 days.

Right now we’re supposed to be working in Austin, setting up for SxSW, an event we were told that is of epic proportion.

I made all the necessary preparations.

I hired a professional, AKA bonded and insured, dog sitter to come and take care of the pack in our absence. Doug’s going with me, at least for the first few days and I wasn’t about to put the pack through the misery that they went through the last time we were away.

That girl is lucky I never found her or I’d probably be writing this from a prison cell and now have a husband named Stella.

(While we’re away Gizmo is going back to Miss Bunny’s Dog Spa AKA Evelyn’s house.)

The house is clean.

Still, if you took off the roof and looked down it’d look a lot like this.

There are still containers stacked tall of stuff everywhere. However we were able to get the majority of the Lazer fur swept up (no small task) and the squeak toys all back in the basket where they’ll stay til Daisy Doodle finds them anyway.

The sitter walked in and gave me a look of amazement as he surveyed the scene.

I said ” You’ll be fine as long as you don’t fall. You have a Life Alert so they’ll be able to find you, don’t you?”

I’m not sure he understood the joke.

I’m not sure it was a joke.

Shortly thereafter Doug let in the pack. They ran in with with great gusto and at least for a minute the sitter’s attention was diverted away from my less than house beautiful.

Anyway, for the past 3 weeks in between doing everything else I’ve been toiling away making Ecofab goodies to sell.

If the weather was good the population of Austin would swell by 1 million people over the next 10 days. 2,000+ bands are scheduled to play in Austin during the event. I saw photos of the crowds from past years. It looked like Mardi Gras, so I thought I should be prepared.

So I made a lot.

More than a lot, a shit ton (which I believe is a widely accepted descriptor).

I’m prepared; but Mother Nature still hasn’t turned off the sprinkler.

I sunk a not inconsequential amount of $$ into getting pieces ready for this. Also we have to pay the sitter, the hotel, the meals and even a venue in which we’re booked for the last four days.

Of course Doug wasn’t just going out of the kindness of his heart. Although he hasn’t said anything, I know in the back of his main he was hoping for some hotel sex. And if we were doing even normal business  while we were there I’d probably be into it too.

Right now though I think Doug is gonna be really frustrated in the slap and tickle department because once again Mother Nature seems PO’d about something.

It’s raining.

And went I went to Weather.com this morning and checked the Austin forecast for the next 10 days here’s what I saw:

And today the high is 48, tomorrow 53. Yea!!!

Nothing says party like thunderstorms and cold weather.

And we’re supposed to work outside the entire time. There is nowhere to work inside- at all.

In fact Doug is loading the car in the cold rain right now.

This sucks in great abundance.

So I guess that’s it for now. I’ve got to go finish up. I was going to try to get the EcofabGifts Facebook page set up before I go but haven’t had the time. Sadly it looks like I’ll have plenty of time at the hotel. I’m really trying to be optimistic, but it’s hard right now.

I’ll be Tweeting from Austin exactly where we’ll be when and if we get to set up and open.

In the meantime does anyone know a good anti-rain spell that doesn’t need Yeti testicles? (As everyone knows Yeti testicles are useful for a myriad of things.)

His dingleberries are priceless.

If they could only grow them in a lab…

Pray for sun.

Contrary to a vicious online rumor, I have not absconded with all the raffle proceeds from the local orphanage so I could run away with my taut bodied pool boy Eduardo.

I don’t even have a pool boy.

Or a pool.

Or the time.

Occasionally I call Doug Eduardo but all that’s for another time and another blog…

Now onto the news that is news.

The good news is that our event on Saturday went well. Not over the moon well, but well; and I made a couple of great contacts for Ecofab.

Then we went home unloaded Ecofab and reloaded the Kiddzstuf stuff, drove to Austin and got to bed about 2am only to get up at 7 for the next show which was the kite fest.

The bad news was that by mistake our booth location had gotten moved to east Bumfuck at the complete opposite end of the festival grounds, waaaay away from everything. I told Doug that I wasn’t even going to set up in such a sub-par location.

He suggested that I go speak to the head poobah and straighten things out.

I demurred.

He was somewhat less than thrilled with the prospect of dealing with it himself; but he pulled up his Underoos and did just that, and in the process secured us a primo spot. Of course all the falderal and hoops that had be jumped through made us get a late start setting up which delayed our opening by a good 45 minutes.

But eventually everything was in place and were were ready to go. Brett was to my right running the candlemaking and Doug was to my left running the sand art. I was face painting in the middle. Usually the three activities are pretty even in popularity.

Not this time.

For the most part Brett and Doug could have sat and played Parcheesi or pleasured themselves while they were there. I doubt anyone woulda noticed.

EVERYONE stood in front of me in a line that I literally couldn’t see the end of.  It was a tsunami of kids.

And it stayed that way for over 5 hours.

So I sat there in one spot toiling away like a slave on the pyramids. Occasionally I’d look up hoping to see the end of the line so I cold catch a break, but that was not to be. And knowing I couldn’t get up and wait in a heinously long line for the Porta Potties I just went without any water for 6 hours. (I really hope I didn’t do in my kidney in the process.)

About 3pm Doug fed me a felafel one bite at a time so at least I had some food and didn’t get a headache.

For 1 family of 4 girls I painted 3 masks and a unicorn. When I told the grandpa $37 he looked at me like he’d been violated. I don’t know what he was expecting; but I didn’t come off the price. None of the other parents in line looked surprised at all.

The price is what it is; and he didn’t ask beforehand. Besides every painter I know charges the same as I do. (Afterwards I speculated that perhaps GPA had just awoken from a long coma and still thought gas was a $0.25/gal. and that he should be able to summon a stiffy on command as well.)

Anyway, by 5pm the wind had dehydrated the acrylics to the point where they weren’t even liquid enough to brush anymore. Still, the kids kept coming.

They were like army ants.

I finally had to start showing them the petrified paints to get them to actually leave the booth unpainted.

But the good news is that when it was all over we totaled about $1500- pretty good for one day. Of course it wasn’t all profit and I’m surprised my arm was even still attached. My shoulder hurt like a banshee, and was hot to the touch. (The preemptive NSAID’s could only do so much.) The pain woke me up during the night; but still, it was worth it.

But the even better news is that somewhat by accident we picked up a new account for Ecofab. We were at a vintage vinyl shop in Austin on Monday and the owner suggested a store for us to visit. We went and were lucky enough to find the owner in at the time. She liked our stuff and placed a big order that I’ll deliver on Friday. So soon Ecofab gifts products will be sold at Wild About Music. They have three locations, one of which is in Los Angeles.

I painted 20+albums yesterday and have to do at least 20+ today for more bracelets.

So I guess that’s it for now. It’s just work, work,  and more work.

Obviously there’s no rest for the wicked.

BTW- I’d like to thank everybody who’s hanging in with me during this crazy time.

I know this isn’t fun for any of us.

I hope to be able to get back to the funny eventually.

Go get your juice boxes, sit down and watch and be good.

Don’t make me turn this blog around.

#1-This explains why you never see me in a video

I’m Pluto.

Sadly, that’s more accurate than not.

#2-I thought this was pretty neat. Of course here with our wild pack o pooches, an IPAD wouldn’t stand a chance. Not unless the screen was made of Kevlar anyway.

#3-Being overrun by suicidal opossums as we are here, I was surprised by just how cute I thought this guy was:

#4-If Doug would just build one of these I wouldn’t need to look for a place with a bigger yard for Lazer:

So I guess that’s it for now.

I was up quite late again last night assembling jewelry for today and I’m still not nearly done so I gotta get back to work while my faithful Sherpa loads the van so we can go.

Hope your weekend is a good one.

OK.

In reality that’s like saying the Titanic had a small leak.

But today I’d like to tell you about a friend of mine, Melynda.

She’s a blogger too.  I visit her place whenever I can. Her tagline is Where Craziness Abounds.

You gotta love that.

She’s a good egg.

And sick and twisted too.

(Well, not nearly as much as I am of course; but she’s still young and I’m still holding out hope.)

Anyway, the fickle finger of fate flipped her the bird big time and in the process has taken almost all her sight.

How she’s kept her sanity and overall happy spirit through all this I have no idea.

But somehow she has.

But Melynda faces yet another eye surgery tomorrow.

Her best friend Elisa, of ECWrites, has been instrumental in helping her get through everything she’s been dealing with. It’s great they live so close to each other.

Anyway, Elisa, Joshua from Vive le Nerd, and Fishducky (The fairy Godmother to Bloggers) all conspired to compile the first three months of Melynda’s blog into a book called Just Nonsense.

The proceeds from the book are all going to help defray all the monumental medical bills.

You can get the book on Amazon, Kindle or Smashwords.

(If you go to Elisa’s or Melynda’s they have the code you can use if you’d like to help by putting an ad at your place. I tried to include the code but I can’t get the code set up correctly no matter what I do.)

GRRRRRRR….

Don’t let that stop you though.

Anyone with an IQ higher than that of Elmer’s glue should be able to do it easily.

Sadly, that should tell you a lot about me. What can I say? The 60′s were good to me.

Anyway… despite the fact that most of the time it seems that the world is going to Hades on a zipline I still believe deep down that good things can happen so I need everyone to please get this book.

It’s a BOGO. It’s really funny and you’d be doing a good thing too.

And who doesn’t love a BOGO?

Actually things are pretty good. We’re filling our biggest order for Ecofab to date- twice the size of our biggest one to date! They ordered 16 clocks and took a multitude of other things too. It’s pretty exciting actually.

That’s really great; but now our stock of things to sell has been severely depleted. So I’ve been sitting and painting LP’s all day. And although I’m always clean when I start, after a few hours I look like a Jackson Pollack painting. There is paint everywhere. (Lucky for Doug he knows enough not to complain about it.)

I have a second appointment tomorrow with a woman I met with about 10 days ago. She bought a lot for her store the first time and now wants some of our Texas pieces as well.

This weekend we have two events- one on Saturday in Houston, then the kite festival in Austin on Sunday. So it’s up early Saturday to go set up, work it all day, then break it down, go home, pet the dogs, unload the car, reload the car, drive to Austin, get about 5 hours sleep and work all day Sunday.

We’re staying over Sunday night. Then on Monday I’ve got to line up a spot for us for SXSW. I’ve never been there for it; but from what I hear it’s the Holy Grail for music junkies- 2,000 bands perform over 10 days. The city literally explodes with people so I’m told. Hopefully they all bring a lot of extra cash.

Anyway, our stuff should go like gangbusters there. And I thought I had a spot all lined up til yesterday. Then it fell through. So first thing Monday morning when I’m looking my most fabulous after working like a slave on the pyramids the entire weekend before, I get to go around Austin and bargain, cajole or beg for a spot for us.

Basically, whatever it takes.

Usually I’m pretty good at such things. (Maybe someone will just take pity on the disheveled old lady and give me a spot.:)

If I secure a spot, then we’ll come home, gear up production again and make preparations to go back to Austin at the end of the week. But this time Doug will stay home and dog sit, shop for more albums and cut what I’ll need. I’ll leave him a thick stack of painted records ready to cut. Then he’ll be FedExing me stuff every night.

It’s been 20 years since we’ve spent 10 days apart. It’s gonna be kinda strange, but fun too. I’ll get to see Brett in between his working at Handshakes and DJing. (At least I hope I will.)

And besides one of my good blogging buddettes, The Snooty Primadonna has agreed to run away from home and join me in Austin for the duration. So I won’t be totally alone, which will make Doug happy. (He always worries when I work alone and have $$.) And who knows Evelyn may even drive up for a couple of days.

Anyway, I’ll be Tweeting our location every day so you guys can come by and say hi if you want.

Guess that’s it for now. Gotta go crank up Solid Gold Oldies and get back to the painting.

Be good.

Now mind you, strange calls from Brett aren’t all that unusual.

Although he doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs he always seems to wind up at the epicenter of Bizzaroworld.

I think it mighta been that gypsy I slept with just before I met Doug so long ago. He just go pissed because I wouldn’t run away and become a fortune teller. Wasn’t it enough that he covered me with hairy warts? Cost me a small fortune to get rid of all those.

Anyway…

Over time Doug and I have become somewhat accustomed to hearing stories of Brett’s exploits. He knows he can tell me literally anything and that it’s OK, I won’t freak out; and because of that I think we may be closer than a lot of sons and moms. It isn’t always pretty;  but at least he doesn’t have a secret life that I know nothing about. And besides as we all know, I did of plenty of crazy things when I was still his age, so I try to be understanding.

Sometimes that’s easier than others however.

But then perhaps it’s just that the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree, as the old saying goes.

Well my tree anyway. Doug was so uptight when I met him I’m surprised he wasn’t wearing celluloid collars on his shirts. All of Brett’s fun side, AKA crazy, definitely came from me. My dad loved to have fun; and my grandfather was a real prankster. There must be a fun gene that I got and passed on to Brett.

I was in the shower one day and Doug came in and threw the shower curtain back.

“What happened to the computer?!”

I soapily replied “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The computer is all crazy.”

Doug didn’t know what had happened.

However as soon as I heard what the problem was I knew exactly what had happened and how it’d happened.

Brett had rearranged all the letters on the keyboard.

My grandfather was at it again.

Brett still teases his dad about it and it was eons ago now.

Doug’s family though was  like the one described in this clip:

The first time I went up north to meet them I went to hug them and they all stood there like cigar store Indians- a toast family for sure.

Our family would do fun things on vacation.

His family toured historical sites.

I know I always wanted to spend every vacation looking at cannonballs and butter churns.

I was a deprived child though. (Probably explains more than a little in my case.)

When Doug and I met it musta been a case of opposites attracting, because in many ways we were about as dissimilar as two people could possibly be.

I like being somewhat unpredictable. It keeps life more interesting. If I ever hit the lotto God only knows what I’d get into.

But then I’m rambling again. Sorry.

Brett likes being unpredictable too.

That’s why he waited til we were out of town to get his first tattoo, so he could surprise us- and he did.

He usually calls on Sunday to discuss his weekend.

“Whatcha up to?”

“Not much. Cleaning and getting ready for next week.”

“What’s up with you?” I asked

“Not much. I wound up getting put in a cage last night.” he said matter of factly, as if it was no big thing.

Was he in jail I wondered. He’d never been before but…

No.

I was curious for sure; however before I became concerned I thought I should get some more info.

Brett had a DJ gig at a “bear club” on Saturday night.

He knew what kind of club it was before he got there. (They told him about it so he wouldn’t be surprised I guess. ) However he’d never actually been to it.

When he got there they had him set up his equipment actually within a cage and that’s where he worked all night.

He said at one point he even took his shirt off as well and with as hairy as he is, he fit right in. (I don’t know if that gypsy was at work again or there was a Yeti snuck in the night Brett was conceived, but our first born is furry indeed.)

Anyway, the cage was a first for him.

He said all the guys there were really great and liked what he played a lot and expects he’ll be back playing there soon.

But before I go I thought I’d share a couple more photos of ECOFAB goodies.

I took these photos at a farmer’s market we went to in a small town south east of Houston on Saturday.

It was a baaaad thing- the market, not the photos. Not that they’re great; but they’re just for here, not the website.

Most of the couples that I spoke to on Saturday didn’t even have a full set of teeth between the two of them, so they certainly weren’t spending any money with us.

And it was cold.

And windy.

And it rained.

It was unwonderful x2.

However, I did leave with a couple of referrals from it and actually met a young man who lives in mid-town who said he’d love to host a party for ECOFAB in his home. So it wasn’t a total loss at least.

So here are the photos-

We’ve cut a lot of LP’s into guitars. Those from Eric Clapton, Willie Nelson, Frank Zappa and ZZ Top are always popular. This one was Jimi Hendrix of Purple Haze fame.

Honestly I was more of a Peter, Paul and Mary or Simon and Garfunkle fan, but a lot of people still listen to that old rock- lucky for us.

This next photo is something new we came up with:

It’s still pretty new; but we’re doing well with it. People from Texas like having Texas stuff in their homes.

I’m curious about something.

Do people in other states do things like that too? Please tell me because if they do that might be something we should look into.

Back to the funny next time kiddos.

Life is just too short to get upset by the small stuff; but sometimes it just all builds up and what better place to blow than here?

So here’s my list of WTF is up with that??!!

1. I live in the USA.  Why should I have to press a number to get to English?

I know it’s a small thing; but it still pisses me off.

2. And why can’t all voice mails be set up the same?

Sometimes you have to press # to send the message, sometimes #3. Sometimes you just hang up. Sometimes you have to listen to a long array of options before you can select which one you want.

Wouldn’t having a universal voice mail protocol be simpler?

3. Why do some parents (I use that term loosely.) think everyone else in the outside world wants to deal with their kids?

I like kids.

Seriously.

We had two.

I still like kids. I say hi to kids in strollers and don’t care if they peek over the top of the booth at a restaurant. Kids are kids after all.

But when ours were little and we had them out in a store or a restaurant they were always with us.

They weren’t perfect little automatons. They were kids. And sometimes we had to deal with their behavior away from home. But we never set them loose to run about unless we were at a park or visiting someone.

We were at a Chili’s recently and a couple was having a leisurely lunch while their kids played tag, bobbing and weaving amongst the servers. The parents were completely oblivious as to what was going on. Granted Chili’s is not a 5 star restaurant, but it’s not a McDonald’s either.

Besides kids shouldn’t be doing that an any restaurant, even at a McDonald’s, unless it’s in their play area.

It’s unsafe and uncool.

And I guarantee if one of those kids had been hurt by a bowl of hot soup spilling on them, the server woulda been blamed.

Yesterday Doug and I went out looking for albums again. I’ll admit that after the third resale shop stop and having pawed through probably 500+ albums I wasn’t in the best of moods. However as we were sitting on the floor (that’s almost always where the crates of albums are located) 2 school aged kids began riding a skateboard within a very few feet of us.

Of course there was a large sign posted “Please do not let your children play with toys.”

But these Laissez-faire parents think it just doesn’t apply their kids I suppose. And what kid pays attention to signs?

Eventually exactly what I knew would happen, did happen.

One of the boys fell, hit his head on the vinyl, and the skateboard went flying.

I probably don’t have to tell you where it wound up.

I didn’t see any blood on the floor so I wasn’t too concerned about the kid. And I wasn’t too worried about me. But being assaulted by a skateboard wasn’t on my list of things to do yesterday either. And if I’d been hit in the head, not the torso I woulda been seriously pissed.

(Of course if I’d only had a tranq gun with me the whole ugly scene coulda been avoided and the boys woulda had a nice afternoon nap while mom shopped.)

Anyway he let out a mighty scream and then finally his mom ambled over to see just what had happened to her beloved progeny. So did the store manager who then confiscated the skateboard.

The boy was chastised.

It was the mom who shoulda been chastised- heavily chastised.

Be brutal.

I can take it.  Do I just need my Effexor upped or am I right?

Today is Fat Tuesday the end all, be all, day of the Mardi Gras celebration. For tomorrow lent begins- if you’re a Catholic that is. For the rest of we heathens life goes on as always.

But until tomorrow “Laissez les bons temps rouler.” – which in French means “Let the good times roll.”

But for those of you who find yourselves unable to attend the big soiree, I’ll share some first hand observations from our years of going and save you the trip. Thankfully I seem to have misplaced all of my photos from back then; so you’ll be spared from seeing those.

Be aware some of this may be too intense for younger or more sensitive readers.

So let’s roll…

For many years Doug and I attended Mardi Gras- usually the one held in Galveston; but we did the one in new Orleans as well. Of course we were there to work, not to party.

Is it fun?

Perhaps.

But truly it’s fun only if you’re snockered or just really like being around people who are, which personally I’ve become less and less fond of over the decades. I’m just not as tolerant of obnoxious drunks as I used to be, even if they are paying me a lot of money to deal with them.

And as far as drinking to excess- well that kind of excess anyway- I haven’t done that in close to 15 years now at least.

But the last time I did, it was there as a matter of fact.

It was a BAAAAD thing indeed.

And I certainly can’t do it anymore. I have scant enough working brain cells anymore to even get a quorum together so I’m able walk and chew gum at the same time. Blotting out millions by over consumption of alcohol is just something I can’t risk doing ever again.

I’m not quite ready for the sleep away camp for seniors quite yet.

Sometimes at Mardi Gras you even got a free show.

The last Mardi Gras we worked was in New Orleans the year of Katrina. I was sitting on a corner on Bourbon St. A lovely black couple in their mid-40′s came up and asked if I could paint the wife.

“Oh sure, no worries.” I replied.

She shucked off her shirt and bra and proceeded to get all her lady parts festooned.

When I was done her husband looked at her with a broad smile and said “Now we’re going to the hotel so we can get jiggy with it!”

I had a pretty good idea of what he meant at the time; but for those who don’t I looked it up.

Now you know too.

Once we saw one man at Mardi Gras who was walking around with a scale offering to weigh ladies’ bare bosoms. Not surprisingly, he had takers as there was never a shortage of women who were willing to take it all off or at least flash for a set of beads.

Guys were our biggest customers back when we had a bead booth. They’d come back again and again to stock up on beads to offer the young women whose ta-ta’s still pointed North to give them a flash.

Some guys even tried to pimp out their girlfiend’s ta-tas to get free beads from us, offering to have her flash Doug for free beads. Doug would say, “Why would I do that when I have some I can see for free anytime at home?” I’m not sure if he was being sweet or just being cheap; but either way, he never gave out free beads.

That didn’t hold true for all the guys in the family though.

Brett started working with us at Mardi Gras when he was about 14. Amanda went the same year. She was only 12; but was always precocious and old for her years. I was at the face painting booth a few blocks away.

As I understand it at one point Amanda saw her brother holding a fist full of cash over the counter telling people to just “Get their own change.” after they’d purchased some beads.

Brett was literally stupefied by all the bare boobs so close yet so far and was momentarily completely out of it.

Amanda punched him in the arm and proceeded to take all the money outta his hands.

From that point on he was demoted to bead detangler and was never allowed to touch the money again.

But then what normal 14 yr. old boy wouldn’t react that way? And remember this is 1987- pre internet at home- at least at our home anyway.

I think they each went only three or four times. One good thing that came of all their exposure to Mardi Gras was that neither of our kids, now both adults, drink. And I think that’s a good thing. They’ll be able to avoid repeating some of the mistakes I made when I was younger and drank way too much. Sometimes I even mixed booze and pills before I met Doug in my wild days.

I used to be the poster child for young and dumb. (I suppose I’m destined to do something great or I shoulda died a long time ago now.)

But I’m meandering… sorry..

Anyway, as you can tell Mardi Gras only brings out the very finest in people. And I’ll close with yet one more tale.

In Galveston, the second Sunday just prior to Fat Tuesday is kid’s day. There’s a big parade and the street is crowded with families. There really wasn’t any of the flashing for beads. Most of the people who’d be into that were still recovering from their exploits the night before.

So overall things were usually pretty uneventful.

Usually…

But this particular day a woman built much like me, but almost twice my size larger than myself walked by the booth wearing 3″ heels. Her nails were so long they looked like the claws on a bear. She was not a believer in the adage “Less is more.” where makeup was concerned either.

I suppose  she was unable to get out on the street the night before and she was not gonna waste this outfit or wait til next year.

She a vision I can assure you.

But that wasn’t the worst of it- far from it.

She was wearing a crocheted swimsuit cover up.

No problem.

The problem was that there was no swimsuit to cover.

She only had a G-string on underneath it and the crochet had holes in it almost an inch apart.

Kinda like this one in this photo but with bigger holes, less yarn and a LOT more her:

The coverup was about 18 sizes too small so her flesh literally oozed through everywhere around the crochet which was pulled so tight it damn near disappeared.

She kinda looked like a ham.

It looked painful.

Now I am no prude, believe me; but there is a time and place for everything and that wasn’t the time or the place.

She would  have been OK at a convention for the blind; but this was 2pm Sunday afternoon. There were kids everywhere.

And many were pointing at her and asking their parents questions. Thank God none of them asked me anything as I painted their faces.

This self proclaimed fashionista took her sweet time sashaying down the Strand; and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she squatted, pulled the G-string aside and peed in the middle of the street.

Usually I’m not one to quash anyone’s good time but she was too much. And of course there wasn’t a cop anywhere to be seen. (Even though it’s Texas peeing in the street is illegal.) In fact if someone is caught doing that here they’re labeled as  sex offender.

After she left I coulda made a fortune if I’d been selling hot pokers or knitting needles so people could poked their eyes out; but sadly I had neither.

So there you go.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your adventures at Mardi Gras.

Now go put your $$ away and save it for a trip somewhere nice or at least wait til your significant other gets home and just play MG in the privacy of your own house.  (If you need some cheap beads the $$ store has an assortment.)

Back to the funny next time.

As for me, I’m getting my paints and glitters ready for tonight since I’m going to a local bar to face paint. I can hardly wait. :(

“Laissez les bons temps rouler.”

Overall we looked at over 500 LP’s that we have here in the last day and a half.

(Now you know why our house looks like an art farm. There is stuff- EVERYWHERE!)

Those that we’ve already decided to made into LP pots, are just having their labels used, or are being cut into shapes aren’t being listed in the inventory. The inventory is just so that we know what we have when people make special requests for wall art.

When the Ecofab site goes live everyone will be able to peruse our inventory and see if we already have an LP that they’d like turned into a piece of art for themselves or someone else. Today I’m painting and shaping a Beatles album. After that I’m working on a Rod Stewart album which I’ll ship out on Monday for someone else.

What people like is being able to not only pick the artist, but the colors and how it’s finished as well. It’s a totally customizable piece of art. Some choose their favorite colors, some want the piece to match their décor. Some people want glitter on it, some don’t.

They’ll never be two pieces that are identical and people really like that.

At a recent event one woman saw a piece I’d done. It was The Lovin Spoonful.

She said “Oh My God! This was playing the first time I had sex! “ She immediately took it down and paid for it.

I assumed by her reaction that it brought back happy memories for her.  And although some would consider that TMI, it made me smile.

If we have a 10×10 space we usually have up about 20-25 transformed LP’s on the wall. It’s fun to watch people as they look at all them and hear them reminisce.

“My folks listened to this all the time when I was growing up.” or “We played this at our wedding.”

Sometimes we cut the albums into shapes.

Both albums that we’ve painted or cut into shapes can also be made into clocks.

I was going to get Doug to set up the photo box so I could take a quick photo of a wall piece for this post. However, apparently something vile has taken up residence in his posterior and right now I wouldn’t ask him to spit on me if I was on fire. I just hope it relocates soon.

We’re not really good at fighting I guess because we don’t do it very often. Lucky for him I’m back on Effexor or things could’ve gotten a lot uglier than they have so far. I’m usually pretty easy going but once I’ve had enough I can become the Queen of Snarky.

And the Queen is here right now- in Spades.

(Sometimes being with your spouse 24 hours/ 7 days a week/ 365 days a year can be unwonderful to be sure.)

This is one of those times.

Today we were supposed to be back at Discovery Green today for Discovery Flea. However the event was cancelled due to bad weather. So instead I got on the phone and hustled up a couple of other places we could go tomorrow for a few hours with all Ecofab goodies. Hopefully we’ll be able to at least cover what we woulda made today.

And to be honest I’m looking forward to the break away from him.

Also, I went to Intuit and started fiddling around with the templates there so we could have an Ecofab site sometime before my demise.

I worked about 20 minutes and then called Doug over.

“It looks plain.”

WTF does he want?

Skyrockets?

Naked dancing ladies?

It’s a retail site for God’s sake.

I knew it was on the plain side. But I thought that we needed to have our products leap off the page, not be hidden by everything else. That’s why I chose a plainer background. I tried to explaining it to him.  Of course the fact that I was an art director for 15 years and had designed beaucoup annual reports and magazine ads didn’t matter at all to him.

At any rate, after we get back tomorrow afternoon I’m going back to Intuit and keep at it for a bit.

Tuesday I’m going to go to a local bar and face paint for 4 hours for Fat Tuesday. In reality I’d just about rather kiss a snake than paint like than anymore; but the last time I did it, it was almost $500, so I can’t afford not to go.

I take four Alleve before I go and 2 that night before bed. If I’m lucky I won’t be totally crippled for the following three days as punishment for over using my arm yet again. BTW- I will take photos while I’m there. I’ll even post them by Thursday.

I wish I had more exciting news, but sadly I do not. I’m doing nothing but working these days- all day every day, into the night. I’m even dreaming about work.

This just better be worth it all worth in the long run.

So I hope you guys have been doing something fun since I haven’t.

What’s up? Please share something fun so I can live vicariously through you guys.

This is exciting!

Now  however I’m almost outta jewelry though and have got to start making more so this is just gonna be a quicky.

Having five dogs here and Molly with Amanda, I thought it was pretty funny.

Enjoy:

It’s February 14th and it seems that once again Valentine’s Day is upon us.

Some people-the florists and chocolatiers for example look forward to it all year. I imagine Victoria’s Secret does land office business the week before as well. I think the one near us had a BOGO sale on crotchless panties recently.

Go figure.

Of course this week it was a lot of men buying those unusual undies for that special lady in their life.

In reality they’re buying them for themselves anyway. I’ve never known one woman who got up in the morning and just chose to slip into a pair of crotchless panties to wear while out doing the errands or going to work- not unless she’s having an affair with the boss anyway.

Personally, I used to get really wound up if I wasn’t lavished with oodles of things on this day as a sign of Doug’s undying love. As time goes by though I seem to be more content with less and less in the realm of tangible things.

We snuggled for 30 minutes this morning, wished each other a happy VD and called it good. Everything we have is tied up in ECOFAB right now, so I wasn’t really expecting anything. But lo and behold a few minutes ago Doug walked in with 4 balloons to commemorate the day.

Of course I woulda preferred some chocolate.

However due to the great kidney stone debacle of October 2011, that’s no longer an option for me- and I hate that.

I really loved chocolate and now can have just a teeny bit once in a blue moon. Yes, I know that’s better for my health; but it still sucks.

Anyway, in keeping with my long standing tradition of politically incorrectness I thought I’d share some goodies I found for this special day. But before I do, just in case someone missed a couple of the posts from last year on the topic here you go. This was pretty good too.

Now on to the new and possibly offensive-

This first option is for the man who knows he just has to give her something but isn’t quite yet ready to declare his love.

Here’s something different. I know nothing makes me feel more loved than vermin.

Tired of the champagne balloon flights and horse drawn carriage rides as Valentines gifts? Here’s an option-

I thought this was sweet…

And finally here’s a card that although crude in the eyes of some, speaks the truth.

So I guess that’s it for now. I hope your Valentine’s Day is a good one. And if it’s not, just remember that tomorrow is another day.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Doug and I worked an event.

We had anticipated that it’d be a great event.

Was it?

Not so much.

Stupidly, I listened to a promoter about an event I knew nothing about. We made a decision about participating on his information, AKA lies.

We hadn’t kissed a frog in awhile.

So I suppose if this is the worst event we do this year we’ll be lucky. But Doug and I stayed up til 3:30 am Saturday morning making all things Ecofab in preparation for the first day, which sucked the big wazoo.

When the alarm went off at 6:45 I was less than thrilled, but rallied with thought of making lotsa $$$.

We were at the Corvette show.  The promoter had said that the attendees had disposable income. Well that was half-true. The owners of the super tricked out cars had disposable income as did members of the various car clubs.

The majority of the attendees, not so much. And there were only perhaps 30 or so cars there on display.

A man actually stood 2′  from me at our booth and spit tobacco juice into a cup he was holding while his wife stood there trying to open the bracelets like they were slap bands. If I hadn’t been literally finishing a sale with someone else I woulda grabbed that from her and asked them to move along; but you never stop in the middle of a transaction just to deal with an idiot.

Lovely.

Sometimes dealing with the public can be unwonderful to be sure.

There were some truly beautiful Corvettes and Camaros, which had been all tricked out. One of the Camaros had pink flames. I met the owner, a cool young woman who actually races it.

How great is that?

If I had the chance I would so do that.

However, after seeing what happened to me at the show, I’ve decided that my career as a stunt double probably should be ending, like now.

Knowing we were going to a Corvette show we’d made  Corvette earrings out of colored vinyl records. They’d looked perfect in the not-so-good light at my house. But when I got there I realized there were some tiny imperfections that I had to fix before I could sell them.

So I sat there and fixed them.

In the booth.

With an Exacto.

Note to self: Never use an Exacto when you could be distracted.

I knew better.

Seriously.

I’d worked with an Exacto for years back when I was doing commercial art in the dark days BC (before computers). All old commercial artists have Exacto horror stories from back in the day. I actually stabbed myself in the back with one late one night. I’d been working out of my home studio on a huge project. The deadline was close and I’d had perhaps 12 hrs. sleep in the last three days.

I could do that back then.

Anyway, it was about 3am and my back itched. I was alone and went to scratch my back having forgotten I was holding an Exacto.

Big mistake.

Nothing like having to call your best friend in the middle of the night to come deal with that.

Anyway, I’d gotten complacent over the years and forgot to give the Exacto all the respect it deserves.

So Saturday afternoon I was sitting at the booth with a tiny earring in one hand and the knife in the other; stupidly I looked away for just a second and the next thing I know the blade went under the nail on my thumb.

I yelled “Crap!”.

It was kinda reminiscent of this:

In actuality it was probably more like Dan Ackroyd’s impression of Julia Child on SNL but I can’t find that clip to save my life.

Doug knew was wrong right away; but by the time the knife was down blood was dripping off my hand. Immediately I took the thumb and index finger of my other hand and pressed down as hard as I could to stop the bleeding.

The few people that were at the booth left immediately, the wusses.

They coulda stayed and bought something outta sympathy but nooooooo…. they just left. My guess is that none of them were doctors or nurses.

Anyway, I kept pressure on it almost 15 minutes as I walked around asking for a band aid. Eventually I was directed to the first aid room where there was an EMT. I told her what happened while she gloved up. When I took my two fingers away the blood welled up again and started to drip again at a pretty good pace.

“This could probably use a stitch; but they’d have to remove the nail to do it.”

“What? I don’t think so; thank you very much.”

She put a pressure dressing on it and said to come back before the end of the day. Hopefully the bleeding will have stopped and she could put some Neosporin on it.

So I returned five hours later.

Did the bleeding stop?

No.

But it was less. Still though it was bleeding.

So what does this mean?

My blood must be careening through my arteries faster than the water in a chute at a water park.  (I’ve taken a regular aspirin a day for years.) However, I suppose this may mean that I should perhaps be a tad more careful in the future since apparently I’m now somewhat of a free bleeder.

Yesterday I went back to get rebandaged. When he removed the old one it was pretty bloody. However the bleeding had finally stopped which was a good thing.  I think the guy erred on the side of caution. (He said he just wanted to make sure no germs could get in there since it hadn’t been stitched.)

By the time he was all done I looked like Little Jill Horner with a giant albino plum stuck on my thumb.

Of course if I find myself in need of a lift today I’m good to go for hitchhiking.

I just realized it’s been almost two weeks since my last posting.

I hope everyone I know online is still around and has been OK.  I haven’t been online much at all.

The closest library is many miles away and frequented by our local troglodytes and junior high school kids who will be one when they grow up.  Most of the restaurants that have wi-fi also have servers; and I won’t tie up a table after finishing my meal just to get online.

So once again I’ve been back in the dark ages. But hope springs eternal that my situation will get resolved soon.

Anyway, for those two or three of you that might be interested, I’ll attempt to catch you up with the news that’s news around here. (Feel free to leave and come back when I’m more interesting.)

Please forgive me if my thoughts seem scattered than usual.

I’ve been busier than a plate spinner.

For those of you who are young ones and don’t know what that is, I will illustrate:

I am beyond busy and still the Ecofab site has not launched.

I was just sitting on the bed and thinking how awful it was that I hadn’t gotten Doug anything for Valentine’s Day, which I thought was tomorrow. Obviously I didn’t even know what day of the month it was.

If I get much more scatterbrained Doug’s gonna take me to the vet and get me chipped. I caught him last week sewing a name tag into my undies, so a chip would be the next logical step I suppose.

Anyway, the new guy who contacted me about doing our website last month got busy and Ecofab got waylaid again, so to speak.

I was really starting to feel like the unloved stepchild.

Therefore, I’ve decided that I am going to do my own Ecofabgifts.com site.

Now I tried this a year ago…

I went to Barnes and Noble and got the book “Build your own website.” There were two elementary age kids on the cover. Easy-peesy I thought. I assumed it’d be like the “Timmy Tells Time” book that most baby boomers had when they were little. It had clock hands on the front and taught most of us how to tell time.

How hard could it be?

As it turns out,  really hard for the HTML challenged such as myself.

After I read it I realized I shoulda gotten the kids on the cover to do my site.

It was all Greek to me.

Or perhaps it was Hindi or Latin.

Whatever it was made no sense to me. That much I know.

But this time I’m going to use Intuit.

The other day a local shop owner told me she did her own site using their software.

Was it fabulous?

No.

But it was OK.

Intuit has a ton of templates that I can customize with my own colors, photos and other goodies. I’ve been told the software was designed for the tech challenged and a better person to test that premise on does not exist.

So finally we’re going to be moving forward; and I am really excited. No longer will I be dependent on someone else for my site.

Of course it probably won’t be pretty right away or have spiffy features. It’ll probably be the “See Spot Run” version of a website; and I expect to have more than a few kinks to work out; but such is life. And when business really takes off then I’ll find someone to re-do it; but in the meantime we can be doing business online. I just hope everyone will be patient and hold in with me.

I picked up another store in Houston today. It was a small order; but still a step in the right direction. And I have another appointment for Friday. Then we have a booth at the Corvette show Saturday and Sunday. (We’ve cut tiny Corvettes out of LP’s for earrings.)

I hope they sell. I’ve been told this is an upscale crowd. Admission is $15. We don’t need a repeat of the motorcycle show from last summer.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us.

Now onto other things…

Doug is fighting a cold.

He expects sympathy from me, which I am in low supply of for him since he insists going around in shorts and a T-shirt even on the days it’s only in the mid 40′s.

When it’s that cool here it’s usually damp too and not shorts weather for sure; but he is stubborn as the day is long. Of course he blames his cold on the fact that I have a fan running all night. However it’s on my side of the bed, blowing on me, not him; so he can just stuff it. (His knee is better though.)

I suggested he get a wheelbarrow to put his ginormous testicles in, being as he’s so macho and all.

The pack is all fine- health wise anyway.

Daisy, Blackie, Blondie and Laser broke out of our backyard and went next door to talk to Panda, the dog next door. Her owner is the guy who reneged on paying for his half of the fence replacement last year. There have been bad feelings since.

The guy called being all snarky.

He acted as if we knew they were there. It wasn’t like they told us what they were planning to do. Besides it’s his little PIA dog that always gets things going, a fact he never seems to remember. How convenient.

The pack had only been outside about 10 minutes. We had no idea they were over there and went to retrieve them straightway. After that Doug went to Home Depot and got some concrete.  I kept everyone inside while he filled in the hole.

Stupidly, I’d assumed he’d used fast setting concrete; so when I let everyone out a couple of hours later I wasn’t concened.

Big mistake- on both our parts. Doug for not getting the fast setting kind and me for assuming that he had.

When I finally went out Lazer had his head down near the concrete. He was digging like his life depended on it. Luckily most of the concrete had solidified so he hadn’t made much progress.

I yelled at him to stop and when he ran over I saw it was all over 1 side of him as well as his head. He was covered.

Have you ever had to wash concrete out of huge husky?

With his double coat it wasn’t pretty.

It was too chilly to do it outside so we took him to the hall bath. By the time it was all over, he was clean and both Doug and I were thoroughly soaked and covered with dirt and concrete yuck. And of course the bathroom had been trashed.

It was not our finest hour.

Last night everyone was already settled for the night but Blondie. She likes to sit on the deck at a 45 degree angle to the back corner of the fence. She is on patrol. And last night a opossum had the temerity to enter her yard.

Bad news for the opossum.

Doug went to get her before we went to bed and told me that, courtesy of Blondie, another marsupial had gone to the rainbow bridge or wherever it is that they go. However he didn’t want to deal with the remains just then, so he’d do it this morning.

Lo and behold when Doug went this morning out the body was gone.

So I guess it was just playing possum. Either that or there’s a vulture in the neighborhood.

I guess that’s about it for now. After this weekend I’m going to get on Intuit and try to figure out how to make my own site.

Pray for me.

Sorry-

Almost forgot about the condoms. I saw this on TV last night.

Any takers?

I feel like I’ve just woken up from a long sleep- a Rip Van Winkle long sleep. Believe it or not, I am typing this on my very own Dell laptop. That’s the good news.

The bad news is I can’t get it to work at my house right now. I need a network key, whatever that is, to connect to the wi-fi that Nate set up a couple of years ago for me. He knows what it is of course; but he’s at work and I can’t talk to him right now.

So I’m at a local restaurant, drinking a Diet Coke and using their wi-fi til I get the problem resolved.

Nevertheless, needless to say, I’m thrilled.

Nathan is still in possession of my old Toshiba POS. I still want to put it on the train tracks and watch it smashed to smithereens. However when I mentioned it the other day, I was told that I could get in trouble for that.

Could a puny, plastic encased laptop actually hurt a train?

I don’t really think so.

Still, I don’t want to wind up with a husband named Stella, so perhaps I should rethink my plan for it’s demise. I am open to suggestions; but please keep in mind that both Doug and I have boogered up shoulders so a sledge hammer is not a option.

I thought about explosives; but don’t want the popo getting after me, so that’s probably out as well. Not to mention I really wouldn’t know where to score some anyway. But I definitely open to suggestions, so please send them on- the more creative the better. I think I’ll film it and post it on YouTube. If only PO’d owners of Toshiba laptops watch I should still get a million hits.

Seriously, Toshiba should stick to making TV’s.

But enough of my rant… onto other things.

Doug and I spent the last 5 days in Austin. We had an event in town Saturday and Sunday so we just stayed at the Ramada. Then I used a Groupon for Vintage Villas, a gorgeous boutique hotel out on Lake Travis, for the last two nights we were in town. Evelyn and I had had stayed there 1 night last summer when we’d ran away from our hubs. It was nice then; but it’s really great for couples.

There’s a huge Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom, which she and I did enjoy last summer. However we used it separately, declining to share it at that juncture. I was really looking forward to sharing it with Doug. (I’d forgiven him for his lack of judgement a couple of weeks ago.)  We don’t to go anywhere super nice very often.

I packed a few things to make our stay even more special. Gizmo and Daisy were at Aunt Bunny’s dog spa (Evelyn’s house) and Amanda and Nate were watching the big three.

I was on cloud nine.

Prior to getting there I’d called on two places to sell our LP pots that I’d painted. Both bought.

I had big plans for the next two days.  Keep in mind Doug isn’t the most overtly romantic guy on the face of the earth.  But I knew in this bucolic setting with the big tub, no dogs around or Ecofab materials stacked up to the ceiling in our bedroom to distract us and wine coolers in the mini fridge things would be different.

Here are some photos:

All that and a separate living room with it’s own couch and flat screen.

We had big plans and nothing was going to spoil our good time.

Or so I thought.

We stopped at a store near the hotel to lay in supplies and when Doug went to get out of the car he could barely walk. When he stood up a pain shot through his leg. He stood there not knowing if he’d be able to walk in.

I was perplexed.

(Sometimes after a couple of days of slap and tickle we can get kinda broken.  Even though our driver’s licenses say we’re not young, our minds refuse to believe it; so we still act like we’re young, then may pay for it for a couple of days after with some aches and pains. But that’s OK. The huge smiles and feelings of bliss are worth it for sure.)

Anyway, at this point I hadn’t laid a hand, or anything else on him; so I had no idea what had precipitated this problem.I knew though from the description of the pain and where it was located what was wrong. He has a torn meniscus.

Dr. Michele is rarely wrong.

I watch a lot of Discovery Heath after all. Besides I had the same thing a few years ago- not surprising since I hit the ground more often than a terrible toddler throwing tantrums all the time.

But he hadn’t fallen, not since the rodeo almost a year ago anyway. But all that was irrelevant now.

He was busted; and I was bummed, for both of us.

So I gave him 4 Alleve, propped up his knee,which was now swollen, and got him as comfy as I could on the bed. I then opened a wine cooler and went to sit it in the big tub all alone and sulk. After about 20 minutes at which point I’d decided I’d reached my maximum pruniness without my skin actually sloughing off like a “floater” (thank you very much Law & Order), I was ready to get out of the tub.

Imagine my surprise then when just as I was about to get out, a naked Doug came limping like Amos McCoy into the bathroom.

For those who are too young too remember here you go:

(Just for clarification you never saw Amos naked, thank God. )

Anyway, Doug was determined to get in that big tub with me. And after some maneuvering he got in.

I was determined that we’d position his knee so that it’d be near one of the jets. Perhaps hydrotherapy would help I’d hoped. And as I was moving all around trying to get his situated just so, apparently I slid over the intake hole in the tub.

I felt like I was being violated by a giant octopus. That tub had hold of my butt and for a second I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to break free. And with Doug being all boogered up, I wasn’t about to ask him for help. I had the lights off in the room so he didn’t see the look on my face or he’d probably have tried to help.

Actually it was probably only about 10 seconds that the monster had hold of me; but it felt like much longer for sure. It really hurt.

Eventually we both got situated and stayed in the tub another 20 minutes. Of course the whole time I expected my skin to start coming off in clumps, but I never mentioned it to him not wanting to quash his efforts at romance.

I got out first and was relieved to see that my skin was staying in place. (It wasn’t where it shoulda been of course in a perfect world; but that was too much to hope for anyway after a lifetime  of wildly fluctuating weights. Over the years a graph of my weight would look like an EKG strip.)

We got him re situated and I gave him a medicinal wine cooler. Usually shortly thereafter the fun and games would begin. But I knew that was not to be this night. So I put on my head nurse outfit and gave him his favorite sleeping pill.

Two minutes after the man was damn near in a coma. Between the wine, the tub, the Alleve and his absolute favorite thing in the world he was deep asleep.

I stayed up watching HBO and feeling concerned for him/sorry for myself.

(I know Amanda doesn’t ever like to think about it but we still have sex and still enjoy it.) She prefers to think we found her under a cabbage leaf.

Thank goodness the next day his leg was better, but was still not right. But if the first night was a 10, the next day was about a 6. I was happy for that. He was still limping like Amos, but not wincing every time he took a step anyway.

However, I do have more good news. I went to three more shops in Austin before we left- Prima Dora, A-Town and Wondercraft. They all carry kitschy items made by Texas artisans. I met with the owners and they all took some of my stuff.

Actually they took a lot of my stuff. I started painting more pieces last night.

Of course being consignment shops I won’t see a dime from any of them til after March 15th, but I still feel good about it; and the first nursery I sold to is ready to reorder. True it’s a small order; but over a $100, so I’m not turning up my nose at it.

So I guess that’s it for now. Sorry I haven’t been around much to visit. Having to borrow a computer sucked the big wahoo. Hopefully I can get this network key issue resolved soon and be able to post from home again and catch up with everyone.

See ya soon.

The rumors of my demise are premature.

I’m still here, I’m happy to say.

Never fear.

Only the good die young.

I’m sure I’ll live long enough to become an outrageous old crone.

According to Doug sometimes I’m pretty close as it is sometimes.

(Of course he’s the one who left me alone downtown at night and is now still sporting a bruise on his arm for it, so he may just be a tad biased in his assessment.

But once again I have but a few minutes so I’m gonna make the most of it and share a story that my friend, Fishducky, gave me. I’d been holding onto it for awhile until I really needed it, and that’s now.

With any luck my life should be somewhat back to normal, whatever exactly that is, sometime soon.

And I’m really looking forward to it, mostly- anyway. I think.

Anyway, here you go- enjoy.

BRING YOUR OWN CHICKEN

When our kids were small we called my husband’s sister, Jackie, one hot 4^th of July & asked if we could come over.  She was the only one in the family with a swimming pool.  The kids loved her, as did we. She was a very warm & generous person.  She said, “Sure—come on out!  Can you guys stay for dinner?  We’re having some friends over & you’ll have to bring your own chicken, but I’ll supply the rest of the food.”  We told her that would be great & that we’d be there in a couple of hours.

We called our friend, Larry, who could get his hands on anything, anytime.  (I will explain this reference later.)

We loaded the kids in the car, stopped & picked up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken & drove out to Jackie’s house.  We all had a fun afternoon swimming & visiting with my sister in law, her husband, their friends & everybody’s kids.  When it was time to serve dinner, Jackie said to my husband, Bud, “It’s a good thing you brought a whole bucket of chicken.  I hope we have enough to serve everyone.”  Bud told her not to worry—we had another chicken in the car & asked her if he should go get it.  She said, “Yes, please.”

For some unknown reason, Jackie was shocked when Bud brought in the chicken from the car.  Perhaps it was because she expected more KFC.  What Bud brought in was not KFC.  It was a LIVE chicken, in a cage!  (Supplied by Larry.)  She asked him why & he explained, simply, “You told us to bring our own chicken, so we did!”

(Note from Larry:  If you want a live chicken on the 4^th of July, it’s much easier if you order ahead.)

Thanks Fishducky. I really appreciate your helping me with this.

Larry sounds like my kinda guy for sure. You just never know when your gonna need a live chicken after all.

I’ll be around to see everyone in a couple of days I hope.

I hope all is well with you.

I am still computerless; without a working computer that is.

When I can’t get to a computer somewhere I’m stuck using my old Android phone for data; and now that I’ve had to use it so much it’s going slower than ever.

I feel like I’m back in the dark ages, clacking 2 coconuts together to get around.

For those who don’t understand that reference I will illustrate-

But I am not without hope.

I have some good news.

We were back at Discovery Green this weekend and I made a great contact. An interior decorator who caters to the Richey Riches of Houston came by the booth. She’s redoing a number of homes and would like to put our LP art in their media rooms. And not 1 piece per room, but many.

She also said I’m charging about half of what I should be for them. So I’ll be talking to her later this week.

Although I’m thrilled that she says we’re undercharging, I’m kinda spooked about charging significantly more. There’s a fine line between charging too little or too much. Just a tad one way or another can screw you for sure.

When I am computered again (God willing sometime late next week) I will post photos of some of the pieces and ask for input. Of course I can’t do that right now.

Now onto the more interesting part of the weekend…

Saturday night after working all day at Discovery Green we went to pick up some albums from a record shop south of downtown. It’s before Hermann park and the med center. Now this area isn’t exactly a place where you’d want to hang out at night.

But that was OK. We were only going to be there for a few a minuted to pick up the LP’s.

Or so I thought.

Doug dropped me at the door so I could go pay. He came in to get them.

A hundred albums are pretty heavy after all.

He left to go put them in the car and come back to get me.

Or so I thought.

The shop owner closed for the night and left. I was waiting in front for Doug. He asked if I’d be OK. And I said “Sure, he’ll be right here.”

Or so I thought.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

When Doug left there was only 1 other person nearby- a homeless man with one leg. He smelled none too good and was talking to himself so I didn’t feel inclined to interrupt his conversation.

But he was the most normal guy I encountered.

Now the bad news was that I’d gotten outta the car without my purse, so I didn’t have my phone or even a dime with which to make a call (assuming you could even find a pay phone these days and that they were still a dime). I thought he’d be right back to get me.

After almost 15 minutes I was getting really worried/ pissed off. For all I knew he’d gotten carjacked. (Not that a 15 yr old Villager van is a hot commodity in the world of stolen cars.)

While I was waiting perhaps three cars drove by. Since I was on a side street there wasn’t a lot of traffic, especially at night.

One guy stopped, lowered his window and asked if I needed a ride.

“No, I don’t, thanks anyway.” I said.

“Well I could tie you up if you’re into it.” he replied with a straight face. This was not a joke.

By now I was getting seriously pissed. A minute or so later the shop owner came back. I ran into his shop and asked if I could use the phone.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!!” I screamed into the phone.

Needless to say the shop owner looked somewhat shocked.

“You were taking so long I went to get gas. I was afraid I’d run out.” (Doug has a bad habit of waiting til he’s almost out before getting more. There are very few gas stations anywhere near downtown.

After I slammed down the phone I explained and apologized to the man who had a confused look on his face. When Doug showed up I got in the car and hit his arm as hard as I could to get my point across just in case he was confused about the situation.

I don’t think he’ll be letting the gas tank get that low again.

Sitting next to me is an older gentleman with a weeks worth of stubble.

Why is it that that stubbly thing can look good on the younger guys, but not on more seasoned gents? They just look unkept. He’s wearing a T-shirt with some holes in it.

This poor guy just looks homeless; but at least he knows how to behave in public, which is a good thing because he’s all mine.

Apparently Doug was Jonesing for his sports fix and could wait no more, so instead of waiting for me in the car and reading the paper he decided he’d come on in and join me here.

Not that he dresses up everyday anyway. But he usually wouldn’t come here looking like this.

But this morning we got a call from our neighbor, the one who agreed to split the cost of replacing the fence, then reneged.  (Doug was pissed.) As you might imagine things have been somewhat strained since. Anyway, he said “Michele, all your dogs are in my yard.”

Now I knew that wasn’t possible since I had both Gizmo and Daisy in our bedroom. Still we knew something was up and when we went in the backyard we saw Blondie contorting herself to return home. She was crawling through a relatively small hole that they’d dug under the fence. How Lazer got through a hole that size I have no idea. He’s close to twice the size of the twins. Perhaps he channeled Harry Houdini.

I could see Lazer and Blackie running about in the yard next door. When Doug went next door to get them they got by him and went running down the street. Thank God school was already in session so the traffic was minimal. Since we live only a couple of blocks from a school it would’ve been much worse if they’d gotten out earlier.

Lazer blasted down the block like he had a turbo, and in a minute was out of site. Blackie, being a mommas girl, came to the car when I called her.

We prepared to chase Lazer for a long time. If Kiwi ever got out it could be hours before we got her back.  (You can’t get a Siberian back before they’re ready to be gotten. We learned that a long time ago.) As a precaution, I had a microchip put in Lazer when we took him for his shots. Still I didn’t want him just running about.

But luck was on our side today. It was 65 outside this morning; and with his double coat, he heats up quick when he runs full out. If it’d been freezing this morning it could’ve beeen bad for us.

After only about 5 more minutes he decided that he’d had enough adventure and came to the car. As soon as we got everyone back in one place, Doug went to Home Depot to get some concrete. So he spent the next hour or so mixing concrete and dog proofing the yard.

Naturally he doesn’t wear his best clothes to work with concrete. So he put on his holey shirt, paint stained shorts and beat up old Nikes. For Home Depot that’s fine.

Everyplace else, which includes the library, not so much.

As I’ve been sitting here I’ve seen a few dismissive looks directed at him. But he seems not to notice. Actually it’s probably more that he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks of him.

I wish I was as secure as he is.

Now news of other canine antics… But for once this wasn’t actually one of ours. It was Annie, Evelyn’s dog. Annie was rescued from a puppy mill where she’d spent the first 6 years of her life. Because of the dire circumstances she endured early on, she has some issues, especially with food.

I can relate.

You really have to keep an eye on her. She’s a sneak thief for sure. 

One time she grabbed a bunch of a garlic rolls and hid them in the couch cushions. (You never know when you’re gonna need a late night snack after all.)

But this time it wasn’t actually food she went after.

This time Annie got a dish towel.

Evelyn’s washer and dryer is in their kitchen behind louvered doors. And when she has something that’s damp, she’d toss it on the floor and close the door til she was ready to do a load of wash. Apparently a tiny bit of the towel was peeking out from under the door and Annie, being the clever canine that she is, fanged it, pulled it from under the door and ate it- every last bit of it when Evelyn was out.

Annie wasn’t acting like herself a few days ago so Evelyn took her to the vet. And lo and behold when they did the x-ray there was dish towel. The vet gave her an emetic to make her barf it up. However it didn’t work. Evelyn was told if something didn’t happen by yesterday Annie would need surgery.

The good news is though that Annie was sent home yesterday. The hand towel is still inside but seems to be moving along so she was sent on home to see if she could pass it on her own. If she gets in distress she’ll have to have emergency surgery; so needless to say we’ve all got our fingers crossed, since the vet bill so far was already $635.00.

So I guess that’s all the news that’s news for now.

I appreciate all the input everyone provided about computers. We are taking it under advisement.

I have an Ecofab order to deliver tomorrow and have Discovery Green all day Saturday. Tonight through Saturday night we’re setting up at a club for 20 somethings near downtown. We’ll be outside so I have no idea how we’ll do. But I have my fingers crossed. With any luck I’ll be able to get back online on Sunday.

Well at least people can’t say I’m not trying.

So go forth and have a good weekend young ones. I’ll be around to visit when I can.

This isn’t the first time that it’s done it; but it’ll be the last.

Anyway, in the meantime I’m going around and using computers when and where I can. Right now I’m at the library while Doug is off running errands. Lucky for me it’s usually pretty empty here til 2:30 when the kids from the Jr. high across the street come here to hang out while waiting for their ride home.

Usually I’m pretty chilled when I’m here. I figure if someone has to use a computer away from home they’ve had a problem of some kind, like I have. So I don’t mind people who, while on the computer, have to make a quick call. I understand. Sometimes there are just things you need to attend to.

Apparently not everyone is as easygoing as myself however.

Across the table and 1 computer over from me a troll is using a computer.  He’s sitting over there with a sour expression like he just threw up in his mouth and can’t spit it out.

Actually I think it’s his regular look.

I think he’s just backed up and needs a colonic with a fire hose.

A young Hispanic woman near me was making a call. She wasn’t be loud or profane. The librarian walked right by her and didn’t say a thing so you know she wasn’t loud.

But the troll made it his business to get up and get the framed admonition about cellphones. He walked over to her, didn’t say a thing and waved it about 1 foot in front of her face. He then looked at me with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

I guess he was waiting for a thumbs-up from me or something, since he’d quashed the heinous menace. (At least he thought so apparently.)

All he got from me was a shrug. She hadn’t been bothering me after all. I thought he was being an ass. Shortly thereafter Doug called. I was literally whispering while talking to him, which took all of about 20 seconds.

As I put the phone away I could feel eyes on me.

The Troll was now giving me the hairy eyeball.

I was just waiting for him to come over and try to wave that sign in front of my face.

I’m feeling feisty today.

Bring it big boy.

However after I gave him a withering glare in return, he decided not to go there after all. Instead he went back to work compiling his list of widows to tie to railroad tracks.

Finally the giant walking ad for Preperation H was done. He adjusted his plaid polyester pants and left.  As he was leaving I was noticing how nicely his plaid pants went with the stained Guayabera shirt he was wearing. And who just doesn’t love clip on suspenders? He was almost special enough to be on People of Walmart.

Anyway, now onto other things…

The big debate over a computer is still going on at my casa.

Brett, a Mac zealot, is insisting that we get a Mac. Nate is a PC guy. Of course is a Mac is about 3 times the cost of a PC, a big factor at this juncture.

All I know is that I need a computer that I don’t have to fiddle with all the time. So I’m thinking of getting an inexpensive desktop then saving up for an I-PAD. If I’m away from home can I run the business on an I-PAD?

Does anyone know?

In the meantime though I guess I’ll have to come here. We’re only given 1 hour of time at a time though so I can’t go everywhere and do everything I need to do in that little time. So if possible please keep all the excitement in your lives to a minimum til I get my new computer and can keep up with everyones goings on.

Thanks for hanging in with me.

It was time. It isn’t that my hair has that much grey yet; for my age it really doesn’t.

It’s just as I’ve gotten older it’s lost most of it’s shine. On a bad day it looks like I have a sick nutria perched on my head. So I color it to give it some oomph, such as it is.

Shiny hair is like grip strength, you never know how much you’ll miss it til you don’t have it anymore.

Anywaay… usually it comes out fine.

This time, not so much.

I’d found the 2 bottles under the bathroom sink. I knew what to do, and how long to leave it on.

What I didn’t know apparently was the color. The box was long gone when I found the bottles.

Apparently now I’m channeling Gene Simmons.

My hair is dark- really dark, darker than it ever was naturally. When I walked into Amanda’s house today, she looked a me and took a step back.

Were you a Seinfeld fan?

If so, just remember Kramer when he looked surprised? That was the reaction I got from her.

Of course I could strip the dark out and re-color; but that’d really damage my hair so I’m just gonna live with it. It’ll fade in 28 shampoos anyway; that’ll be late March, but such is life.

Now onto other exciting news…

It’s official.

My Toshiba laptop, AKA Japanese POS, is dead. So says Nathan, guru of all things computer.

Actually it isn’t actually totally dead yet. However, it’s afflicted with the same thing it had last year, when it was just 1 yr. old. And I’ll be damned if I put another penny into it only to have the same thing happen again a year from now. I can’t run a business with a computer that may or may not work on any particular day.

It’s moody.

And there’s only room for one moody bitch at our house and it’s me.

The only good news is that Nate says he ‘s pretty sure he’ll be able to get all the info off it before I put it on the railroad tracks and wait for the train to smash it to smithereens.

I want to see it crushed into a zillion little pieces.

Literally.

I need to.

Nathan looked around and found another computer for me. This one’s a desktop. That’s what we had before. He said I can get a lot more bang for less money than a laptop so that’s what I’m going to do; but it’ll probably still be a few weeks before I do so.

We pay cash for everything these days. We paid off our credit cards years ago and got rid of all of them; and most of the time I think that’s a good thing. I never dread going to the mailbox like some people do. When we have the money for something we get it; when we don’t we wait. But right now I just sent out a lot of money to secure spots in the spring shows we always do; and we had an unexpected car repair. January is always a tough month- a lot of cash out and not much back in.

When we had the mortgage company I looked at people’s debt load every day on their credit reports. One guy had $70,000 in credit card debt. Most of it was at jewelry stores. Whenever he bought his girlfriend something, he bought the same thing for his wife, because he felt guilty he said.

He was a real peach. I was so tickled when he got turned down for his loan.

But I seem to be rambling again, sorry…

I do have some good news though. I delivered my first wholesale order for Ecofab on Saturday. A man I met at Discovery Green ordered 10 flower pots, made from LP’s for his nursery. Basically there just like our wall art from LP’s only they’re more upright, so they can hold a plant.

When I went to his nursery yesterday they were women from a couple of garden clubs there. They oohed and aahhhed over them as I was unpacking them. It wasn’t a huge order but it was over $100, so it was a good way to start.

Then I went to a shop that sells old LP’s. The guy there wants to see a wholesale price sheet, which of course I didn’t have with me. (I haven’t even made one up yet.)  I told him I’d get back to him next week. But he sent me next door to a small boutique. The owner bought 4 bracelets and 6 pairs of earrings for her place. I went next door again and showed the shop owner some of the extra pots I had. She’s considering selling some in her shop too.

So even though I didn’t have invoices with me or business cards I guess we’re growing.

We did a farmer’s market yesterday and I met a woman who works for an airline. She said her company lets vendors come in on their paydays and set up and sell. From what she said it’s a great thing. Too bad their last payday was this past Friday. But at least I’ll have something to look forward to for the end of the month.

I’ve got a great photo for the Bizarrometer. However it’s locked somewhere inside my POS Toshiba which at this juncture is closed tighter than a nun’s knees so I can’t get to it. But it’s a goody for sure.

I’ll be around when I can. In the meantime you guys behave yourselves.

So after I do my email stuff and check on Ecofab and trying to book spring shows there isn’t much time left for Bodacious goings on and me popping around to visit everyone.

However, I’d been getting emails that people have been following me on Pinterest.

I didn’t have anything on it; so I finally had Amanda show me what to do.

It’s really fun.

So for today I thought I’d share something I repinned from someone else.

I think it’s cute; but then I have the maturity of about a 12 yr. old so that may be why.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

I wanted to pop in and say hi and thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement for Amanda.

I’m happy to report she got home yesterday afternoon.

And she was able to avoid surgery. They all passed on their own.  She was even able to miss the CAT scan.

After we got her back to our side of town everyone went for lunch. As you might imagine Doug, myself , she and Nathan were not exactly sparkling conversationalists, having been at the ER the whole night before. Evelyn who came for lunch carried most of the conversation since she wasn’t sleep deprived.

By 2pm yesterday I was in deep ZZZ’s and stayed that way til some time after 7.

I woke up just in time for the People’s Choice Awards.

Why I even bothered to turn it on I have no idea. I only knew at best 50% of the people nominated and of those probably 20% by name only. When they announced the winner they didn’t even identify what show they came from. So for the most part, I was clueless. Not that that’s anything new these days.

I was in time to catch Adam Sandler’s bit which I guess he thought was funny.

I didn’t. And it went on way long too.

I think next year I’ll just watch something on Netflix.

After the show was over I thought I’d get online, visit everyone and perhaps write a post for today.

I thought I would anyway.

It wasn’t to be.

My Toshiba laptop, a Japanese POS, has taken ill again and is down yet again.

Sadly, this is nothing new.

I’m going to see if Nathan has the time tonight and can resurrect it.

I’m not holding out a lot of hope however.

If it can’t be I’m really screwed. I have photos ready to load for Ecofab.

I’m at Amanda’s now and using their desktop computer. But it’d be a huge imposition if I had to be here everyday. Not to mention I’m not even sure I could run a site without a working computer at home.

So depending on whether or not Nate’s successful you may or may not see me around a lot. I’m in no position to buy another computer right now. That much I know.

My chuckle for the day came this morning when a young woman from the hospital where I went for my kidney stones called.

“Mrs. Eigler, we were wondering if you’d like to set up a payment plan for your recent stay?”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked

“$1,150 a month for 18 months.” she casually replied, like it was no big deal.

“If I had that much extra a month we’d have health insurance.” I said.

So, I made my first payment today, a whopping $50. I assured her that I’d get it paid off. She may have retired by the time it finally is, but it’ll get done-eventually.

I guess that’s it for now. I’ve got to get back home. We have a small show on Saturday and have to get things ready. It’s going to be 29 early Saturday morning when we leave the house. I can’t wait.

If Nathan can resurrect my POS I’ll see everyone manana. So please keep your fingers crossed and thanks again for all your well wishes. I read them all; please forgive me for not replying personally.

In fact we just got home perhaps and hour ago.

Where were we? you ask.

Were we partying with all the pretty people?

Did Doug lose possession of his faculties and decided to start dancing?

I wish.

No nothing that much fun.

We were back at the ER.

And the best guess the Dr. has right now is that it’s kidney stones again.

But I wasn’t the patient this time.

Amanda was.

Nathan called about 9pm and said Amanda wasn’t feeling well. By 11 she’d gotten worse and we were on the way to the hospital. She was screaming and crying and inconsolable with pain.

Unfortunately I could relate.

By the time we got to the hospital though her pain had gone from about a 716 down to a 3.

I was scared her appendix might’ve ruptured.

She said she could just go on home; but there was no way she was leaving til we knew what was up.

So they’re running tests. They gave her IV morphine and by now I’m sure she’s sleeping. We were told they wouldn’t know anything til mid morning at the earliest; so Doug and I came on home. We have to let out the pack and go feed Molly at their house.

Nate stayed with her and we’re going back mid morning unless Nate calls us before.

So I guess that’s it for now. I gotta get some sleep.

BTW- If you want to read the post I actually wrote yesterday for today, just check the one right before this. I posted two today, one right after the other.

Ho ho ho.

Obviously while my body was occupied by an alien presence last Saturday morning, my brain suffered oxygen deprivation.

How do I know this, you ask?

Because for a few minutes I actually thought going to an aerial arts class would be a good thing- for me that is. It sounded like fun and naturally Doug would be thrilled if I got that flexible again.

So how did I discover that this would not be a good idea?

Watch and see for yourself:

In case you missed it, at one point the woman pulls her body up the silk from a sitting position, which means she’s dead lifting her weight with just her arms. That’s impressive.

And since after 35 years of face painting I now have carpal tunnel and the grip strength of a 2 month old, I realized that the aerial arts were not for me.

What I was thinking I do not know; but still, I was bummed.

You never really appreciate the little things like having grip strength til they’re gone.

Now on to more news of the none too bright or just flat out strange…

-I think it’s fitting that that this Mensa reject tried to do this at a Walmart.

-This guy was either just extraordinarily stupid or just assumed the women all would be.

-There were guys at Mardi Gras who actually walked around in T-shirts that said “Official Boobs Judge”. They were pretty successful at it. A lot of woman flashed their ta-tas for them; but then that wasn’t all that unusual at Mardi Gras anyway considering the level of alcohol in most of the women’s bloodstreams.

-Here’s a crime mystery for you.

Now if you paid attention when you were reading you noticed that all the other thefts were items that didn’t need refrigeration; but margarine does. I’ve seen people go door to door selling meat, but never margarine. Not to mention it’s not an inconsequential amount.

I’m really curious just what they’re going to do with it all.

Popcorn? Lobster?

Yesterday I got the heads up for us to participate in an event this weekend. It’s down at Discovery Green, where we set up for Discovery Flea once a month.

From Thanksgiving through mid January they have an outdoor ice rink set up there too. It’s predicted to be 74 tomorrow. This isn’t all that unusual for Houston in the winter and is one of the few reasons that people like living here. But tomorrow it’s gonna be so warm that it’ll be like skating around on a slushee. The first inch of ice on the rink will have melted; so if you fall, you get wet.

Tomorrow they’re also having an ice sculpting contest there. I hope those guys can work fast and can put something out for judging before they all just turn into a big puddle.

Kiddzstuf (us) is the only vendor there tomorrow with things for kids to do (other than the rink). And since the rink is only 72′x100′ it gets filled up quickly. Besides a lot of the people here aren’t great ice skaters like they are up north.

With the ice being so slushy and the rink being so small, we’ll provide another option for something to do with the kids. And last year there were 10,000 people at this event.

So I’m going to eat a huge amount of Alleve in the morning and go face paint. Doug is gonna run the sand art.

We have 3, 10′ sides we can use. So I think Amanda is going to come down and sell ECOFAB goodies out of the third side.

It should be a good day, if my arm doesn’t just fall off tomorrow night or I wind up running with scissors in traffic from the pain.

Anyway, I was feeling pretty good til I looked in the mirror.

Really looked, with a 15x mirror that is.

No one my age should do that- ever.

But I wanted to make sure some random hair on my chin had escaped my notice. Years ago, before I had electrolysis, I face painted all one weekend then saw on Monday I had a couple of chin hairs long enough to braid. It was horrifying.; but at least then I understood why the kids were all staring at my chin the whole time. They were probably looking for my mole or waiting for me to turn them into a toad.

Anyway, this morning my chin was smooth as baby’s bottom, a good thing.

Then I looked up higher though and noticed that I had 1, only 1, crazy- ass eyebrow hair.

It was gigantic, and curly; and horrifying.

I plucked that hair out and heard it clank when it hit the sink.

Am I turning into a female version of Andy Rooney?

This I am not prepared for- at all.

Now I have something else to worry about it would seem.

Lucky for me Doug needs glasses to see up close these days; and if we’re in bed giving each other physicals he doesn’t wear them. So I dodged a bullet there.

After recovering from my unexpected and unwanted discovery I checked my email. And what has Evelyn sent me?

Take a look-see:

Fabulous.

I’d already read this.

Now my stomach isn’t big enough to scare small children, but it’s bigger than it should be. So it would seem that yet once again I must steel my resolve and keep on the path the health. I’d hate for ECOFAB to go big and me be so out of it that I’ve been reduced to sitting in the corner and having all the conversational ability of a turnip.

Actually we’ve been pretty good since Christmas. No true junk food or baked goodies have darkened our doors. And for me that’s a good thing. Cake, birthday cake especially is my kryptonite.

What’s yours?

Brett’s old room has been turned into a mini photo studio and today I’ll be shooting photos.

So we’re getting close, real close.

But before I can go live with this I need some input.

The first items that will be on Ecofab will be the bracelets and the earrings. For those of you who have forgotten what I do here’s a photo of a couple of bracelets I took awhile back. (These photos are not the best.)

Take a look-see.

Each piece of jewelery that we sell will be at least slightly different from the next. Even if the colors are exactly the same, the pattern will be different.

I paint 1 record at a time; and outta that 1 LP I get a variety of pieces- there could be thin bracelets, wide bracelets, some with parallel edges, some with 1 curved edge. Sometimes I get earrings out of the LP, sometimes not.

It always varies.

So do the earrings. No two pairs are ever identical. They can be very similar but never identical.

Knowing that, here are some questions for you.

Do I need to have a separate photo and listing for each piece?

As an example- can I post a photo of a gold bracelet (like the one above) with a note that yours will have the same color but it will probably have a different pattern?

Amanda said each individual piece needs to be photographed. But if I do that I’m going to be spending all my time taking photos and doing computer work, adding and deleting photos. (That’s even assuming that I can learn to do it.) My web guru says just to photograph a bracelet in each size, in each color and let it go at that; that people will be OK with not seeing the exact piece.

Listing each different piece does seem like a lot of work for pieces that are relatively inexpensive, only $10-$25.  Would you buy a piece of jewelery online from a photograph that wasn’t the exact piece you’d be getting; if you could exchange it if you didn’t care for it?

What do you think?

New question-

Would it be better to bump the price $2 and then offer free shipping on the jewelery?

On things like the tinned bottles and the mirrors free shipping wouldn’t be possible of course, but I could bump them too and then offer reduced shipping.

What do you think?

How important is the shipping cost?

Right now the bracelets are all cuffs. There is no closure on the back side. The bracelet goes at least 3/4 of the way around the wrist; so it doesn’t come off.

So here’s the question-

Should I also offer them with the option of a closure in the back?  (The price would be slightly more of course.)

So I guess those are the big questions for today. I’d really appreciate any input you can give me; and feel free to share this post. I’d like a information from as many people as possible so I can make an informed decision.

And since I’m busy trying to figure out the new fancy smancy camera that we got for Christmas so I can take Ecofab photos, I don’t really have time to write much today anyway. So instead I’m just gonna share this.

And yes, part of it is politically incorrect.

But it is funny.

BTW- Next time I’ll have some questions about Ecofab that I’ll need answers to. I have to make some decisions about how to set up the site and I’d really appreciate feedback; so I hope everyone will answer the questions.

So here you go…

I hope you were able to greet 2012 with a clear head today.

Did I?

You betcha.

On the biggest party night of the year Doug and I just laid low, staying home.

One reason was that the man just won’t dance. So there’s really no point in going out to one of the big parties that the hotels here have. (Doug danced the night we met and hasn’t really since.) He says he saving himself because he knows he’ll have to dance with Amanda at her wedding. Of course she and Nathan haven’t even set a date yet; but Doug’s saving his dancing for that just the same.

The other reason is that I’ve somehow boogered up my back. I have no idea what I did when or exactly when I did it; but I did it- big time.

When I got out of the car on Friday I stood up and a pain shot through my lower back like I’d been electrocuted. I’d had back pain after the whole kidney stones debacle; but this was a different kind of back pain. It hurt so bad I wasn’t even sure I could take a step.

But I did.

Channeling my inner knight I girded up my loins and walked (slowly, very slowly) into the store. I probably looked like I was 106 and shoulda been pushing a walker with tennis balls on it’s legs in front of me; but I got inside eventually.

After that we went home to get ready to go Evelyn’s for dinner and game night. Amanda’s and Nate’s best friend Elizabeth is in town from Seattle and it’d been decided that we’d all get together for dinner and to play games. I took three Alleve and off we went. I love our game nights. It’d take more than pain to make me miss one.

Like the last time we started by playing Apples to Apples; but this time it was the Jewish edition. Amanda bought it on sale and thought it’d be fun.

Was it?

Not so much.

It might’ve been fun if we were actually Jewish; but being as none of us were we spent most of the time reading the definitions on the cards before we could proceed. So if you’re a Gentile like we are, I’d suggest taking a pass on it.

A much better choice is Loaded Questions. A card is drawn and everyone at the table has to write their answer to the question that is read. Then after hearing the responses the person who drew the card and read the question has to try to match each person with their answer. One question was ‘If you could have a superpower what would you want it to be?” Another was “What’s the worst genre of music?”

I answered techno-cowboy. I’m not even sure it is a real genre; but that’s some of the fun, trying to confuse people.

“What famous person do you most resemble?

I answered Jim Croce.

The questions went on and on and Evelyn laughed so hard she farted while she was laughing. We’re a high class group to be sure.

Anyway, since I don’t have an exciting New Year’s Eve story to share I thought I’d start off this year by posing some questions to everyone. Be aware these aren’t funny; but they do make you think. Is everybody ready to start the year with some introspection?

Here you go-

1. There is now a test that can tell you if you’ll develop Alzheimer’s. Would you take it?

2. If you had the chance to live forever, would you want to?

3. What is #1 on your bucket list?

I’ve decided that if my back isn’t all better by tomorrow I’m going to go ahead and take steroids. I always keep an prescription for them on hand. I don’t take them just willy-nilly. I actually haven’t taken any in over 5 years; but sometimes you just need them.

Also, I just found a great photo for the next Bizarrometer. So that’ll be coming soon.

Back to the funny next time.