We got there the next day and discovered our “guard” was falling down drunk. Not just tipsy, but completely blotto. On the plus side almost of the beer was still there.  Anyway, it was a learning experience for us. I saw the following clip on the Today show this morning. Apparently this distillery in Russia had not learned this lesson yet. Their losses were estimated to be between $150,000.

Remember: Never let a drunk drive a forklift. Today’s trivia answer-the swan.

My parents moved our family to Texas when I was quite young to start a new business in Houston. As a treat, occasionally we would go to Lake Houston to go fishing. This was not a crystal blue “Colorado” kind of lake.  This was a mud hole. We didn’t own a boat back then so my dad rented one at the marina. Even 50 years later, I recall it was a piddly little boat which sat very low in the water. The boat motor was so small that my dad could carry it under his arm.  My parents fished. I sat in the boat and watched Rusty, our dachshund swim around. I wanted to swim too, but was always told no.

Eventually my mom would break out our sandwiches. They were always the same. Bologna on white Rainbow bread with mustard. I never thought to ask for any other kind. My folks both drank beer. After mom had a few she always had to “go.” We never went back to the marina for that. (It would be a waste of time.)  She had a bucket on board for such “emergencies.” I remember thinking it’s not an emergency if you know you’re going to need it every time you out. Thank God my dad never had an “emergency” on the boat. Neither did I-ever. (I would have died first.)

There was always a lot of cussing while they were fishing there. Probably pretty tame stuff by today’s standards. I’d been told there were things under the water just waiting to get your tackle all hung up so you’d have to cut your line. (That’s when the cussing ensued.) My dad never believed in using lures. Only fresh bait for him-which made since to me. I thought why would a fish want bite into something it couldn’t eat? Just before getting in the boat I would go with my dad and buy minnows at the bait shop. I always felt sorry for them.

Looking back, those day trips were all  unremarkable except one. I remember I’d gotten a sunburn, (no sunblock back then), and was feeling pretty miserable. This was in the late 50′s and our car, at least, did not have ac yet. This was August and it was hot and sticky. Mom had another couple of  “emergencies” on the way home. (Thank God the bucket was still on the boat.)  As we got closer to the city the traffic was backing up. Someone cut in front of my dad from the other lane so they could get to the exit. He stomped the brakes so we didn’t hit them. Minnows go flying everywhere, landing on everyone and everything in the car. There were minnows on the dash. As nasty as that was, everybody in the car had a good laugh, except mom. Somehow she failed to see the humor in the situation as she extricated minnows from her hair.

Why we were taking those minnows home I cannot recall now for the life of me. (It’s not like you could eat them.) However we got a new car shortly thereafter. I guess minnows, cloth upholstery and Texas heat don’t mix very well. I’m just glad he didn’t have worms with us as well.