Bodacious Boomer

I just realized that Christmas Eve is the day after tomorrow. Logically, I know that. But somehow, I still find it hard to believe. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a less Christmasy mood. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that it’s the first Christmas without my mom; she only died 7 weeks ago. I really thought I’d be rallying by now. And it’s not that I’m in a Bah-humbug mood. I’m just not feeling the season. Evelyn and I stopped by IKEA over 2 weeks ago and picked up a couple of beautiful Christmas trees. Although I finally found a stand that would accommodate a tree with a 10″ trunk, my tree is still sitting in a big bucket of water in the backyard. Doug and Brett are going to be leaving to go to CT on the morning of the 26th to take care of Betty, Doug’s mom who is still in the hospital after her fall. Life has really gotten in the way of getting it put up this year. I think Nate and Amanda may be going to CT as well. Doug is expecting to have to start packing up her house and finding a new place for Betty. He thinks she should move down here, close to us, or to L.A., to be close to his sister, Lynne. That’s going to be a huge job. If that comes to pass, no one would be here to help me take the tree down til at least mid-January; and by that time, I don’t want a Christmas tree in my den. With that in mind, it seems I will be tree-less this Christmas.

The doctor said Betty is still confused. (She said yesterday that they gave her Chinese food on toast for breakfast). Doug is so stressed. He said he could deal with the physical problems she might have. (The mental problems are another things all together). We went through a very intense period of those with my mom. She had bizarre hallucinations for awhile. No matter how we tried to comfort her or explain them away, it did no good. It was exhausting to be around her at her house. It seemed as if she never slept. I’m guessing best case, Doug will be gone for a month. Somehow, a month seems longer to me in the middle of winter than in the summertime.

So I’ll be spending New Year’s eve all alone at home. Well, that’s not totally true- I’ll have about 200 lbs.of dogs with me. I’m so glad I have them. When I get really down, there’s always a furry head that needs petting. Doug and I aren’t big New Year’s Eve party folk anyway, so it’s not like I’m going to be missing some big wing-ding. I’ve just always been lucky enough to have him with me when the new year has started.

I’ve got a couple of craft projects I’m going to be finishing up today and tomorrow. Hopefully they’ll turn out well; they’re for Christmas gifts. If they turn out OK, I’ll take some photos and post them. I hope this day finds everyone else bubbling over with the holiday spirit. Ho-ho-ho.

What every mom secretly wants

In Unforgettable gifts #1, I included gifts that could be given to friends and family alike. I know that for some of you, finding the “perfect” gift is truly important. So when I came across these, I just couldn’t keep them to myself. This time the gifts are just for those of us with XX chromosomes. You know how every Christmas retailers come out with those cute mother-daughter outfits, the matching skirts or sleepshirts? Well, these mother-daughter gifts would be appreciated by perhaps the more “progressive” or “free-thinking” mom. Or perhaps a mom who just wants to train her sweet daughter to go into her chosen profession.

So here you go for mom- the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit. This is the only portable pole dancing kit that installs in 60 seconds or less! “Put on some music, shake your booty and earn a fortune in Peekaboo Cash”. “Comes with Peekaboo garter and $100 in Peekaboo cash”. According to the website, “there’s a Peekaboo Lap Dancer in all of us and the Peekaboo kit aims to help you find it from setting the scene with peek-a-preparation, choosing a sexy peek-a-name to planning your latest routine. The kit comes with everything you need to lap-it-up”. Lucky for me I read this disclaimer- “Note: The Peekaboo Pole is not a professional dance pole, so not swing on the pole using your entire body weight”. (Of course for your featherweights who are size 2, it’d probably be fine).

I’m sure most little girls wanted to be like their mommy at one time or another while they were growing up. So here’s something for them so they won’t feel left out: The Pole Dancer doll. “When the music plays, she goes round and round and up and down”.  I am NOT a prude, in any way, shape or form. (Just ask our daughter ). Amanda’s often mortified by my lack of prudishness or lack of concern about social mores these days. However, even to me, this doll is too much. Doug just walked in, looked at the photo and read what the packaging said. All he said was, ‘That’s just wrong”. I think that pretty much sums it up. (Of course, he’s all in favor of the Peekaboo Pole for me). When I was growing up, if an item appeared to be cheaply made, my father would say  “It’s looks like it’s made of a Prince Albert Can”. Without seeing one in person of course, I’m guessing that the Peekaboo Pole might be a recycled Prince Albert Can. After reading the disclaimer to him, we decided that perhaps in the interest of my safety and to prevent our ceiling from crashing down we should consult the Army Corps of Engineers to have them make a sturdy pole for me and at the same time come and reinforce our attic and foundation. I know everyone will be relieved to know that there will never be a video of me on a pole on YouTube while I still draw a breath on this earth.

Imagine the look on Grandma’s face when she she’s her granddaughter open her Pole Dancer doll. That alone would be worth the cost of the doll. Happy shopping! Today’s trivia answer- Parcheesi.

For the little princess in the family who wants to be just like mommy.

Fall is almost here. It is far and away my favorite time of year, Spring’s OK. I like the thunderstorms and the burst of color from plants that bloom early. Summer sucks in Houston- hot and sticky, then hotter and stickier. It’s good though if you want to feel like being in a rainforest in Brazil.

Winter starts just a few days before Christmas. The holidays are great- but for me the best part is early on. Going to get the fresh tree and unpacking all the old ornaments, I love that. What I don’t like is all the gift stress. Did I spend enough? Will they like it? Christmas day is a lot of work for the mom who’s hosting dinner. I mean it’s great having everyone together, but before dinner everybody’s visiting and after dinner everybody’s too stuffed to help.

Then the holidays are over and you’ve got to take down the tree and put everything away. (I hate that part). Then the long push til spring. This is when Houston comes into it’s own though. I’ve worn shorts many, many times Dec.-Feb. while most of the rest of the country is in a deep freeze.

Fall however, is where it’s at. The average temperature now is in the low to mid 80’s, the humidity down. We don’t have the big explosion of colors with the whole leaves changing colors thing. (No one comes to Texas to see the fall foliage). You know it’s fall when you see a steady stream of cottontops pulling RV’s, heading to south Texas for the winter. Late September and October you can actually walk around a festival without looking like a contestant in a wet T-shirt contest with your shirt stuck to you from all the sweat.

Fall means Halloween, my favorite holiday. I think more adults should celebrate it, especially as they get older. I always went to work tricked out in various Halloween costumes until I got married, pregnant and quit work. (I realize that dressing up at work may have been a little easier for me since I was the art director at an ad agency). When your kids are little it’s all about them of course.

When the kids are grown and (hopefully) gone, why not reclaim the day for yourself? If you’re lucky enough to be retired or at least self-employed you have no reason not to. I’d love to have Fred Flintstone cleaning my teeth or Dracula changing the oil in my car. I intend to to start dressing up again- this year. (I’ll take photos to document my silliness). It makes people smile when they see an adult in a costume- people need a reason to smile more. Now I just have to decide what I’ll be. Today’s trivia answer- the Bay of Fundy.