When we arrived in Santa Fe, Doug went to check us in only to discover that all the money in his fanny pack was gone. It was nylon and apparently the stitching at the bottom had just given way at some point and all the money had fallen out. It’s still hard to imagine that no one saw it fall, but it did and we didn’t. All we had left was the change from a $100 bill that I had broken to pay for lunch and gas earlier that day. Luckily I’d put that cash in my purse or we’d been screwed worse than we were. Obviously there would be no motel that night. (We didn’t travel with any plastic at all back then-strictly cash.)

We told the kids that we were going to drive straight thru to go home and just hunker down because it was going to be a long ride with very few stops. I was stressed and knew I couldn’t sleep right away so I told Doug I’d drive first. (He could instantly fall asleep on a bed of nails.) About ten miles out of town Brett said he had to pee. By now it was after10pm and we were on a fairly deserted road so I just pulled over so the troops could relieve themselves. The three pre-teens went up the hill to do their thing. Being a boy, Brett had no problem. Amanda apparently suffered no unfortunate consequences either. Ginny, though was not so lucky. She must’ve pulled her pants down, but not back. Her pants got soaked. Then we had to open the roof-top carrier, get down her bag so she could change, repack, etc.

About 11pm, the negotiations of who was going to sit where were finally finished, the bags repacked and I had found the back road I needed to take to get us to the highway. Doug is sleeping and I’ve settled in to drive for the first stretch. Just as I finally get us up to speed something huge jumped in front of the van. I stomp the brakes as hard as I could and swerved the car to the left. I didn’t have time to focus on what it was. Doug woke up and yelled “What the **** was that- a camel???!!!” (All I knew was it’s stomach was higher than the hood.) I later was told it was an elk. (I didn’t hit it, but now I needed to change my pants.) Elk are HUGE!

The whole way home all we ate were packs of Lance crackers which we purchased while we filled up the car. While dropping Ginny off at home I forgot to give her the jeans. While returning the van the next day I found her jeans. I threw them in the trunk of my car and there they stayed for almost 3 months. Have you ever popped open the trunk when there’s been a pair of urine soaked jeans marinating in it for 3 months? Martha would not say “It’s a good thing.” It’s a bad, very bad thing indeed. It took forever to get that smell out of the trunk. So what did we learn? Girls, always pull your pants back if you’re peeing on a slope. Elk are huge and really fast and never, ever, trust a nylon fanny pack. Words to live by.