I’d already cried before I left for the hospital. I was determined not to cry in front of her- and I didn’t. The urine in the catheter was the color of dark tea. That was upsetting too. Even though she was on 100% O2, she was still having trouble catching her breath. After I spoke to her cardiologist, I discovered why. According to her echocardiogram her heart is only functioning at 15% right now. It was over 50% four days ago. Apparently she had a big heart attack before she was transferred and no one caught it. She wasn’t in a schlocky place then. She was in a big, well- known hospital in Houston. Somehow, someone just missed it. So now, the cardiologist wants to do a cardic cath in the  morning.

However, the gastroenterologist is saying she’s too unstable to tolerate the procedure.He ordered an abdominal x-ray about 8pm. After seeing that he ordered an cat scan of her abdomen. When they were finally finished with that it was about 11pm. We won’t know any results til tomorrow. When they brought her back from CT she was on a new bed, one that was inflated. She looked more comfortable. They had her on some new meds. Her BP was up. It was still low, but it was up. She was more alert. Even if they are able to do the cath in the morning, I’ve been told she will never be the same; it’s almost a 100% certainty she’ll never be able to live alone again. Her biggest fear is having to go into a nursing home. (She does not want that no matter what).  So I have a lot of different feeling swirling around in my head at this moment.

I called Brett this morning and told him he’d better come home now. She’d asked where he was. Nate and Doug picked him up and got him to the ICU about 9pm. She called him a “Woolybooger” and smiled when he came to her bedside. I’m glad he made it home tonight. I’m exhausted.  I’m going to go to bed and give Doug a big kiss and tell him I love him.  Make sure you live the best day you can everyday, no matter what the day is. Be lavish with your hugs and “I love you’s”.  You just never know.