Bodacious Boomer

Don’t you just love it when someone you love gives you an unexpected present? I know I do. I was in the backyard yesterday with our pack when Molly, our black lab, AKA Molly the Bull, came running over to me. Usually Molly wants to give me one of her toys. I say “Drop” and she drops it in my hand. For some reason for which I don’t understand but am forever grateful, yesterday I told Molly to “Drop” when she was still about three feet away from me. I thought she had brought one of the many plush toys which the girls have eviscerated, but still love to play with. I leaned over to pick it up and immediately started yelling for Doug. After the 4th yell, he made it out from the east wing of our house. (Like our house is that big).

I stood there pointing to what I thought had been a chewed up toy. It was chewed up all right, but it was NOT a toy. It was half a opossum, the front half. Prior to moving to this house I’d only seen one opossum my whole life. It was alive and hanging in my MIL’s garage. Since we moved to this house, almost three years ago, now my opossum sightings are well into double digits for sure; however, they’re all dead. Our house backs up to a bayou. (I guess that’s where they’re all coming from). One of my first postings was about our opossum problem. A couple of these critters have been over 20 lbs. They are huge!- and scary looking. I’m beginning to wonder if the bayou behind our house has toxic waste. They’re getting so big they’re really starting to freak out Nate, Brett, and Doug too.

We don’t leave food out. I don’t know why they keep coming into our yard. Wouldn’t you think they’d catch on? “Hey Steve, don’t go over there, Joe did the other day and he didn’t come back”. I don’t mean to sound callus about this. I absolutely love animals; but I don’t know what else to do. I read that we could keep a strobe light going; that opossums don’t like them. However, I don’t believe I’d be very popular with the neighbors. Since the dogs go in and out the dog door, if we left a human trap out and by chance caught one, one of our pack would hurt themselves on the wire trap trying to get to it.

Years ago, our Siberian Husky, Kiwi was nice enough to bring me a squirrel head. The perfect gift for the mom who has everything, you know. Brett took it and was going to put it under his sister’s pillow. Luckily Doug got it away from him before he could do it. Brotherly love- what a beautiful thing.

Do you believe in love at first sight? * I do, kind of.

According to Dr.Helen Fisher, we make the decision about whether a guy could be an appropriate match for us within the first three minutes. Instantly, actually in less than 1 second, you’ve already made the decision on whether or not he’s your cup of tea, physically. If he passes that hurdle, you’re checking out his voice next. Does he sound more like Tiny Tim, Tom Selleck or James Earl Jones? Do you like his voice? Once again, your decision is made within seconds.

If you’re lucky, you’re in a place where you can actually have a conversation, not a crowded club or concert. Now you can get down to the nitty gritty and have a discussion to base your decision on. How smart is he? I usually tried to date guys who had about the same intelligence as I do. I dated down once. Big mistake. He was just eye candy, a mimbo. What kind of background does he come from? He is interesting? Is he truly interested in you?

When Doug and I finally had our dance the night we met, something definitely clicked. I went back to his house for a drink and we stayed up talking all night- literally. Both our dads were engineers. We were both raised Methodist; both went to UT, and even worked at the same restaurant at the same time in Austin. I knew by dawn he was the one for me. He told me soon after we met that he had a date scheduled for the next night. (I’m guessing that was an easy out if it didn’t click with me). The next day I told him that I’d go on home so he could go on his date, no problem. He canceled his date. We’ve been together ever since and married three weeks later in a simple civil ceremony, just the two of us.

I guess it was love at first sight for us. I mean it wasn’t within the first three minutes, but it was within 12 hours. Apparently we’re in the minority though. Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel, said only 11 percent of the 493 respondents in her survey said their long-term relationships started that way. Do you believe in love at first sight?

* Excluding your newborn.

I just got back from the hospital after being there for over 12 hours. When I left, mom actually looked better. That’s because when we got there today and I walked into her room I thought she had already died. She looked worse than I had ever seen her. Her face was pale and her eyes were sunken. It was terrifying. Even when I stood right next to the bed and she looked at me, she didn’t see me. I had to squeeze her hand and tell her I was there. Then she started to recognize me. She’d been someplace far away. Her blood pressure was only 75 over 55 something at that moment. Her hands felt cold.

I’d already cried before I left for the hospital. I was determined not to cry in front of her- and I didn’t. The urine in the catheter was the color of dark tea. That was upsetting too. Even though she was on 100% O2, she was still having trouble catching her breath. After I spoke to her cardiologist, I discovered why. According to her echocardiogram her heart is only functioning at 15% right now. It was over 50% four days ago. Apparently she had a big heart attack before she was transferred and no one caught it. She wasn’t in a schlocky place then. She was in a big, well- known hospital in Houston. Somehow, someone just missed it. So now, the cardiologist wants to do a cardic cath in the  morning.

However, the gastroenterologist is saying she’s too unstable to tolerate the procedure.He ordered an abdominal x-ray about 8pm. After seeing that he ordered an cat scan of her abdomen. When they were finally finished with that it was about 11pm. We won’t know any results til tomorrow. When they brought her back from CT she was on a new bed, one that was inflated. She looked more comfortable. They had her on some new meds. Her BP was up. It was still low, but it was up. She was more alert. Even if they are able to do the cath in the morning, I’ve been told she will never be the same; it’s almost a 100% certainty she’ll never be able to live alone again. Her biggest fear is having to go into a nursing home. (She does not want that no matter what).  So I have a lot of different feeling swirling around in my head at this moment.

I called Brett this morning and told him he’d better come home now. She’d asked where he was. Nate and Doug picked him up and got him to the ICU about 9pm. She called him a “Woolybooger” and smiled when he came to her bedside. I’m glad he made it home tonight. I’m exhausted.  I’m going to go to bed and give Doug a big kiss and tell him I love him.  Make sure you live the best day you can everyday, no matter what the day is. Be lavish with your hugs and “I love you’s”.  You just never know.

Today Doug gave me a huge bouquet of flowers this morning. They are absolutely beautiful. He didn’t forget! It’s our anniversary- 27 years of (usually) wedded bliss. Of course I didn’t really expect him to forget. He brought it up last night when we were in bed. Also, Amanda called him yesterday and said “What is the date today?” Good for her. He did forget twice in the past. Those were long, grim days. It isn’t that I really expect that much. I do expect him to at least remember though. I’m happy with just some flowers. ( I’m easy to please.) One year he wrote me a 5 page letter. Not really a standard love letter with a bunch of mushy stuff, just telling me the things he loves about me (most of which will go unmentioned here.) He said he even love my Fred Flintstone toes. I have shortish toes each one slightly shorter than the one it’s next to. My toes are tidy. His are long, the second one on each foot longer than the big toe. I suppose they will be handy if he ever needs to climb a tree just using his feet.

As we were laying there last night he said he’s been thinking about why we were still happy after so long when in many ways we are so different. He’s a Yankee, I’m from the South. We both went to the University of Texas at the same time. We even worked at the same restaurant at the same time and never really knew each other.  I know why though. He was a business major, AKA nerd. I was in psychology and art, AKA hippie. He loves watching sports. I like to read. He was raised in an emotionally constipated family. My family was outgoing. His dad was a secret smoker. Both of my parents smoked-everywhere. (I think my mother was smoking when she delivered me.) He never saw his father and mother kiss or have a  fight. My parents had black satin sheets for their bed and had their fair share of “disagreements.”

However, we did have our similarities.  Doug and I were both raised in middle class families. Both of our fathers were engineers. We both attended Sunday school then regular church until we were teens. (Back when people still got dressed up for church.) Neither of our parents ever really sat us down for “the talk.” When Doug was 17 his mom handed him a Dr. Spock book, You and Your Little Body. She said if he had any questions he should ask his father. I think by then he had things pretty much figured out. I got nothing at all and had to learn everything on the streets.

So how did a sports loving, dance hating, emotionally repressed Yankee wind up settling down with a dance loving, outgoing Southern girl who likes to read? I guess like many relationships it was a physical attraction at first. Then over time the other stuff came-the mutual love of cooking, playing raquetball, having a dog lots of dogs- along with two kids. We like crosswords and playing trivia. It seems natural to me to do little things for him like take a snack to our home office for him or hand over the remote. (That’s not really such a little thing.) He does those things for me too. Basically our relationship is pretty much like it was in the beginning with just two exceptions.

The “laser eyes” stage that everyone goes through in the beginning has faded. You know when you only have eyes for each other? It doesn’t matter who else is talking to you, what’s on TV, or if a tornado is in the neighborhood.  You are clueless to your surroundings. Doug didn’t even mention sports the first three weeks we were together. If I get upset about him watching too much sports these days I accuse him of having pulled the old “bait and switch”scam back in ‘82.  Sometimes when we’re out we see a couple holding hands and sitting next to each other in a restaurant. The we look at each other and say “Dating.” Really the only other change is the topography. But time and gravity take their toll on all things. Things change. And in the end all the changes really don’t matter as long as you still enjoy the view.