I’m hoping that everyone who’s been with me for awhile knows my love for our pack of five.

(Not that kind of love you sickos, stop that.)

Still, I figure that ever so often I need to post something wonderful and pure to make sure I don’t go to the bad place when my time on this mortal plane is done. And since everyone really seemed to enjoy the first Not funny at all, but truly sweet,  now I have another for you.

And, since I love all things dog, especially puppies, and since most everyone I know is doing a lot of holiday baking, I thought I’d share the following:

How to Properly Lick a Bowl

So there you go. Something to bring a smile even the coldest of hearts. More Christmas funnies next time.

Tomorrow is my birthday!

The good news is that for once, I know Doug hasn’t forgotten. The bad news is that we’re working an event tomorrow so I won’t be able to climb up onto the pedestal on which I’m expecting him to place me until Monday. I  know, I’m a grown-up. It shouldn’t matter to me at all; but somehow it does.

I guess I’m still a kid at heart.

So for my birthday, how about leaving me a comment?

Blondie, of Blondie and Blackie fame, are the latest addition to our happy pack. Nate and Amanda brought them home after finding them wandering the streets after a fierce spring storm over a year ago. They are twins for sure, but not identical. Blondie is yellow, hence the name, and is some kind of lab/pointer mix so I’ve been told. Blackie is black; go figure. Blackie is a Australian Shepard mix.

I know, the names weren’t very creative; but this wasn’t supposed to be their “forever” home.  I thought their forever parents could give them their final names. Of course, when Nate and Amanda moved out, they left the twins with mom AKA the old softy. So now this is their forever home.

Anyway, the vet said that two dogs in the same litter can have different dads. I guess their mom got around a bit. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, long as you’re not married or anything.

Usually our pack gets along fine and shares everything really well. Well, maybe not brand new bones, but everything else- the attention, the toys etc.

Late last week though, Blondie started acting differently, not wanting to play as much. I kept watch to make sure she was eating, drinking, and pooping- which she was. Then this week, I couldn’t find most of the dog toys.  Usually, we have squeaky toys strewn all over the den. (With a pack of 5, you have a lot of toys.) Usually, we have squeaky toys strewn all over the den. So I searched and found them, all of them, with Blondie. She’d taken up residence behind a couch cushion leaning against the wall in our office with all the toys either under or right next to her.

She’ll let me next to her, and I can even pick up one of the toys; but the rest of her pack? They’d better not get anywhere close. If they do, growling ensues. A couple of night ago when Blondie and I left the office I closed the door, forgetting what she’d left behind. She came back and started crying at the door. It was the saddest, most pathetic sound you can imagine. I opened the door, and she flew back behind the couch cushion to the toys; at last count she had 12 with her. Take a look please. What do you think?

I think she thinks they’re her puppies!

When I let her back into the room, she then took those toys one by one and moved them to the corner of the coat closet in the den. Then she went in and laid with them again.

Is she crazy? She’s not pregnant. Nor has ever been. I’ve called dog trainers and the vet. No one has been able to give me an explanation. A trainer told me that sometimes the Alpha dog will hoard the toys. She’s never been the Alpha. Gizmo’s the Alpha, all 6.5 lbs. of him. (He had to abdicate when he was so sick last month.) However, he once again rules the pack with his iron paw.

I honestly don’t know what to do. The rest of the pack want to play with the toys, but she won’t let them near. Should I go buy more or will she just adopt them too? I’m dead serious here- if anyone knows what’s going on or how long this will last, please tell me. I really don’t know what to do.

Can anyone explain what’s going on with her?

So here’s a really sweet story for everyone to enjoy. In Palmetto, FL Southeastern Guide Dogs opens it’s doors each day for the public to come and cuddle with their guide dogs in training AKA puppies.

At 9am every day when the door opens, 25-30 puppies, 6-9 weeks old come running in, yipping and stumbling over each other eager to get to the scores of the people with outstretched arms who are just as eager to hold them.

It’s a win-win situation. It’s great socialization for the puppies and the people love it as well. I’m going to see if there is such a program anywhere close to me. Hell, I’d pay them to let me come and I bet I’m not the only dog lover who would do so.

After being married almost thirty years though my days of making bad choices about men are long gone. (Unless you count marrying someone who hands out compliments about as often as finding hen’s teeth a bad choice). All things considered I chose well where Doug is concerned. I know he loves me, even if he doesn’t spout sonnets about me everyday. He works hard and is unselfish, so I don’t really have too many complaints in that department. Sometimes though I wish my life was more like what you see on the front of the Harlequin romance novels; my long hair blowing in the wind, my stud-muffin husband with a full head of hair tearing at my bodice to get to my perky breasts while telling me how gorgeous I am. Well I’ve got the long hair and a husband. I guess two out of six will have to do.

When Mom was admitted to the hospital last month I stopped going to the gym. The hospital was about 45 minutes away.  Between all the travel time, the stress and everything else I just couldn’t do it. Then when she went to the LTAC (long-term acute care) hospital, I quit cooking at home and even attempting to eat healthy. I can’t even remember the last time  I’d gone to a Burger King prior to that day. It’d been a long time. The next week though was just a blur. During that time, Bad Michele showed again like the relative that nobody likes but always manages to show up at just before the holidays. So for the last 2 weeks or so Bad Michele has been here making horrid food choices and I’ve been too tired to care.

I have to admit that initially eating whatever Bad Michele chose was fun. Beef enchiladas are just so good. And the pot roast she made at Evelyn’s was rich and decadent. What’s wrong with eating half a box of Wheat Thins by yourself? I know I’m a grown up and I should be able to eat just 1 warm chocolate chip cookie and leave the rest alone. (Perhaps in a perfect world I could). In my world though, 1 becomes 2, 2 becomes 6. Since last night now I’ve been edging back towards more healthy eating without letting Bad Michele know. (Believe me, she doesn’t want to leave). We’re having a family to-do for Amanda’s birthday at Evelyn’s this weekend. The next day though Bad Michele has just got to go! I’ve got to get back to the healthy bandwagon before I’m too ginormous to climb aboard. Today’s trivia answer-10%.

A volunteer from Texas Cattle Dog Rescue brought Annie to her new home last Sunday. Annie and 507 other dogs were rescued from a puppy mill that was closed down. According to the vet, Annie had two litters of puppies a year for the last five years. Annie could use a boob lift. Something I an relate to. (Perhaps I can find a BOGO for us). She had been living in a plastic 55 gal. drum that had a hole cut in the side of it. (She couldn’t even completely stretch out her legs while she was in the drum). There was a 3′ rope attached so she could get out to potty but couldn’t run away. She had mange and had to have 80 stitches when she was rescued. I think people who run puppy mills should just be shot- no trial, no nothing.

Evelyn kept Annie to herself the whole first day, just wanting time alone to bond with her. Annie was friendly but not playful. She didn’t know how to play- She’d never been allowed to play. Yesterday, we all went over to Evelyn’s for dinner- but I went mainly to meet Annie. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’d never really been around a dog that had come from such horrific circumstances.  When I entered the house Annie came to greet me. I called her Annie and Sweet Pea. She came to the couch with me and lifted her paw so I could rub her tummy.

After dinner, Evelyn got down on the floor with her to try to teach her to play. Within 10 minutes Annie was racing around the room. She ran over the top of all of everybody on the couch to get back to her mom more quickly.  Annie and Evelyn played hard for at least 10 minutes. Then Annie laid down near Evelyn’s feet and zonked out. (I think I saw a smile on Annie’s face while she slept). She’s going to be just fine, better than fine actually. She’s a very lucky girl dog now. If you’re going to get a new pet, please think about a rescue. They are great; I have 6 now, and they’re always grateful for a second chance at life. Today’s trivia answer: 3,000

Here are two great links to help animals, and it doesn’t cost you a thing. All you have to do is click on them each day and food is provided to an animal in a shelter. You can click to help cats too. http://www.freekibble.com and http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com