Bodacious Boomer

I woke up today and came to the computer. Doug was sleeping soundly and I saw no reason to wake him up just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Since I came home a few days ago, things have been OK; although he didn’t give me diamonds, write me a sonnet or even give me an “I’m sorry.” However, we’ve been talking more- more about things that really matter instead of just the day to day chatter that gets you by- Did you pick up the Rx? The car needs an oil change, etc.. We’ve actually been talking about something we’re working on to sell on ETSY, and from time to time even “feelings.” Since Doug was raised by emotionally constipated parents this is a big thing.

I made sure the first talk we had was at a restaurant. I did that to ensure that the conversation stayed low-key. (When I finally get upset about something I can get wound up when discussing it.) But we sat,  ate pizza and talked.  Since then we’ve had more talks. It’s been a good thing. It amazes me how the expectations in a relationship change over time; at least how my expectations have changed over time. When I was much younger, I always assumed that I’d need a grand gesture after a fight. Not anymore. (I guess I was just more superficial then.) Things come and go; it’s what’s there in between that matters.

A few minutes ago, Doug opened the door and came in with a Valentine’s Day trifecta- balloons, yellow tulips and a dozen Valentine cupcakes.  He definitely knows the way to my heart! I am such a foodie. (Sad but true.) FYI-  those cupcakes will be shared and eaten over the span of a few days.

I think we’re about to go to lunch then coming back to clean the house, then mop all the tile. How could anything else be more romantic than that?

Ladies, have you ever received something red, black and lacy from Fredericks of Hollywood or Victoria’s Secret for Christmas? I have. I even got to open it in front of family. Doug was obviously confused and somehow thought that the teddie was a gift for me. It’s true that it was in a box that had my name on it on it. However, make no mistake. It was a gift for him.

So, if your significant other is in the habit of giving you gifts that are actually for him, now you can turn the tables. Put Dr. Weener’s Studmaster under the tree for him. The StudMaster is advertised as the Over-the-Hill Exerciser. The box states- At last an exerciser that conditions the one muscle that all other machines ignore! Another site states “It gives you a full aerobic workout where you need it most”. (I don’t know that I’d recommend that, or you both might be spending Christmas night in the ER). Hopefully your main squeeze might actually get the joke and catch on. Only $12.95. One size fits most.

Do you have a co-worker who thinks that they’re the best thing since sliced bread and unfortunately think that the workplace is a proper venue to share all their exploits? Are you subjected to a detailed analysis of their romantic pursuits every Monday morning as you sit in your cubicle and their sordid details spill over the partition? Here you go, a perfect gift for them- Phoney Hickeys. Now, just  like a 15 yr.old, they can display a badge of their exploits. (And hopefully leave out the audio portion of the presentation).

Now here’s an item that’s not so much a gift, but handy to have around during the holidays nonetheless. They say you can use them as handwarmers under your gloves. (I guess you could use them for that too). However, I’d just keep a pair around to put on that too “touchy-feely” neighbor or uncle who drops by. You know that guy. He just makes you feel uncomfortable with that pat on your butt or the hug that lasts just a moment too long. (Too bad he’s part of a combo deal that includes your best friend or aunt). This way at least your other guests can see him coming and take the proper measures.