Bodacious Boomer

Sam and Sally aka Doug and Michele

Doug and I went to Austin yesterday so I could face paint at a bar which was having a special event where Brett was going to be working as a DJ. Last week they decided they needed a face painter so he called me to see if I wanted to come to town for the afternoon and make some money. Having both gone to UT, Doug and I always enjoy going back to Austin to see what’s changed and what’s remained the same. Now that Brett lives there, there’s just one more reason to go.

We picked up Brett and went to lunch at a burger place he recommended called Five Guys. I must admit the burger was excellent. However $4 for a large order of fries seems just too much. (Unless you need a cigarette after. Which I did not). I hadn’t eaten anything remotely unhealthy for the last month.; so to eat a double meat burger and fries for lunch felt very decadent. You can tell how exciting my life is now if I consider a burger decadent. (Somehow, that seems sad.)

By the time I finished at the bar and we had dinner it was almost 11pm. When we got to the room, I opened the door and there it was- 1 double bed. Whenever we stay at Motel 6 after an event I always get 2 beds. Not that I’m unromantic or anything, but after I’ve face painted at an event, I just want to sleep that night. While I was turning to look at Doug he read my mind. Before I could say a thing he spoke up. “This is all that they had that wasn’t a smoking room.” Classes at UT start on Monday and all the available rooms were full with families of incoming freshmen.

Normally Doug and I sleep on a bed that’s 6′ wide. This bed was 4.5′ wide. This wasn’t going to be good I thought, but I said nothing. Sam and Sally Sardine just went to bed. Between the hot flashes and all the tossing and turning trying to get comfortable, I had about 3 hours of sleep. I am dragging tail today and just looking forward to stretching out in my big bed. And to all a good night.

Have you seen the new commercial that starts with the song, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year? It shows a dad dancing down the school supplies aisle at the store. Following him are two dejected-looking kiddos who have realized that their summer is coming to an end with school soon to start. Having to get our kids back on a schedule every August was the worst part of them starting school again. I’d wake them up once, then again and again. I didn’t want to turn into a she-beast in the morning. However, some days she was the only thing they responded to. I’ve never really considered myself a morning person. However, next to my family I am. I’ve always thought that if you have to get up, just get up. What’s the point of hitting the snooze? Do you really get “good” sleep in that extra five minutes?

Our daughter Amanda, and her bf, Nate, have put their alarm clock on the other side of the room so they have to get up to turn it off. Yet they tell me they still hit the snooze multiple times. I don’t understand it. If you’re going to hit the snooze five times, why not just set the alarm for 20 minutes later and then just get up- no hitting the snooze? Wouldn’t you get more “good” sleep?

I’m wondering if perhaps how you handle the start of your day might somehow be genetic. Both of our kids are sleepyheads in the morning as is their father. It almost takes a court order to get Doug going in the morning. After waking up, he lays in bed “relaxing” while he watches TV. What’s he have to relax from? Sleeping? By the time he’s done with all his ablutions it’s been almost an hour. When I met Doug in 1982 he had a perm. He’d stand in front of the mirror for 15 minutes with a hair pick, rearranging his curls. Thank goodness that perm is long gone. (That was a truly unfortunate choice on his part for sure.) Now, he’s strictly a wash and wear kinda guy-but he still moves slower than molasses in January. All I know is that it’s a good thing he was never in the military. That would’ve been really ugly.

Last Christmas I gave Amanda a mug with a drawing of a cranky girl on it saying “Good morning? What’s good about it?” (She wasn’t amused.) A joke in our family is that if you talk to Amanda while she’s still in bed and she’ll look at you and growl, “Why are you waking me up???” She’s a slow mover in the morning too-just like her dad. When we were in Aspen we actually heard of a posh hotel there that offers personal wake-up service. They come in, open your drapes and gently rouse you from your slumber. Can you believe that? They wouldn’t have any more luck waking up my group than I do though.

I love to sleep too. I just wish I could get more of it. But between the hot flashes and life’s stresses, sleep for me is hard to come by some nights. Sometimes late at night, I’ll look over at Doug sleeping so soundly and actually feel jealous. I just can’t seem to find that switch you flip that sends you into lala land.  If anyone knows where that’s located please let me know. I’ll make it worth your while.

Once upon a time long ago,  in a land far, far away there was a princess.  She fell asleep quickly and slept soundly through the night having only the most wonderful dreams.  When she awoke she felt rested and looked beautiful. That was a really LONG time ago. I was that princess once, way long ago. Now my nights are more like last night was. About 15 minutes before bed, the nightly ablutions are done- face washing and moisturizing,  teeth brushing and flossing, and  feet sanding and slathering with lotion to avoid the dreaded dinosaur feet.

Doug chooses something to watch on TV, knowing full well that in 10 minutes he’ll be asleep. Then, after he falls asleep, I get to play catch-up with whatever show I wanted to watch. Then my nightly routine starts. The covers are on, the covers are off, over and over again. If I were standing  I’d look like a bullfighter working their cape. Instead I just look crazy. We always have the ceiling fan on. (Of course I have a fan sitting on my nightstand blowing directly on me as well.)

Last night around midnight our dogs, all 6 of them, were barking like crazy . I looked out our patio door and saw the hammock swinging wildly. Doug went to investigate and found our dog Blondie trying to run up the hammock rope to get into the tree. She would  jump into the hammock then it would flip her out. The rest of our pack was near her egging her on. The object of her desire- an opossum was sitting just above her. So now Doug’s outside in his fruit of the looms trying to reason with a pack of hyper dogs. Eventually he gets everyone back into the den and puts the panel in the dog door. Now it’s  12:30. By 12:40 he’s back asleep and snoring.  I’m still awake and channel surfing 30 minutes later. About 1:30 they are all out and barking again. We go to the den and see they have broken the panel in the dog door to get to the opossum who’s still there.  Doug herds the dogs inside again,  gets a piece of plywood from the garage and places  it over the dog door and secures it.  Before 2am he’s back asleep and snoring-again. At 3:15 they are at it again, now having torn the plywood off the door to get outside. (You have to admit they’re not quitters.) Luckily by now the opossum has left and the dogs quickly return to the den.  Doug secures the door one last time.

Returning to bed  Doug noticed that I’m wide awake and already said he could be asleep again in 5 minutes. He was kind enough to offer me a sleep aid.  “Wanna get a little?” Did he really think that was a possibility? I graciously decline his chivalrous offer. He’s asleep again in nothing flat. So, now it’s after 4am and I finally drift off waking up again at 7:30. I stumble to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Unfortunately I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. I don’t know where the princess has gone. I just wish she could come back.