Bodacious Boomer

When I was young and single and loved to mingle, back in the day when I dated Fred Flintstone, I lived at an apartment. I think that was a rite of passage back then. My apartment was upstairs and faced the pool. In the summertime it was always BBQ and beer by the pool. (Coke for me; I don’t like beer.) My good friend Rosie was a school teacher, so she had the summers off. I was a freelance illustrator so my schedule was my own. I remember we laid out by the pool when it was 103. My dad actually brought a fan by so I could be more comfortable outside while I baked myself. (In retrospect, not my brightest moment.) We were a tight group always involved in each others lives.

Traditionally, Feb is the worst weather month in Houston we were ready to have some fun. Almost 35, yes 35 years ago now, our little group got together and planned a party for Valentine’s Day. Only 1 of us was in a serious relationship so we planned at Valentine’s Party with a twist. We had a costume party. It was called the VD party. All the girls came as hookers and all the guys as pimps. It was a hoot.

The guys went shopping before the event and found the most God-awful clothing you can imagine. One wore a bright gold crushed velour shirt and a number wore heinous polyester print shirts with the top three buttons left unbuttoned.  There was a lot of heavage. Gold chains were everywhere. One of the guys even sported a huge hat.

My girlfriends and I wore an assortment of trampwear. Diana, who’s tall, but boob challenged wore cut-offs so short that little was left to the imagination. Our friend Debbie wore a black slip. Rosie wore an old dress that she slit up the sides so high you could almost see the promised land. As for me, I wore a dress that I used to wear when I partied at UT in the early 70’s. Of course for the hooker party, as it came to be known, I hemmed it up- way up. To add an air of realism, I even pinned some real $100 bills into the top of my dress. (I was a working girl after all.)

Now before anybody gets their sensibilities in a twist, in the interest of full disclosure I must state that all clothes stayed on and no untoward acts were performed while at the party. Still, the party was deemed a huge success and repeated the next year, different costumes and apartment of course. (I think I’ll hold onto that photo for next year’s blog.) Anyway, I just thought I’d share this old photo and give everyone a chuckle to start off their week.

I woke up today and came to the computer. Doug was sleeping soundly and I saw no reason to wake him up just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Since I came home a few days ago, things have been OK; although he didn’t give me diamonds, write me a sonnet or even give me an “I’m sorry.” However, we’ve been talking more- more about things that really matter instead of just the day to day chatter that gets you by- Did you pick up the Rx? The car needs an oil change, etc.. We’ve actually been talking about something we’re working on to sell on ETSY, and from time to time even “feelings.” Since Doug was raised by emotionally constipated parents this is a big thing.

I made sure the first talk we had was at a restaurant. I did that to ensure that the conversation stayed low-key. (When I finally get upset about something I can get wound up when discussing it.) But we sat,  ate pizza and talked.  Since then we’ve had more talks. It’s been a good thing. It amazes me how the expectations in a relationship change over time; at least how my expectations have changed over time. When I was much younger, I always assumed that I’d need a grand gesture after a fight. Not anymore. (I guess I was just more superficial then.) Things come and go; it’s what’s there in between that matters.

A few minutes ago, Doug opened the door and came in with a Valentine’s Day trifecta- balloons, yellow tulips and a dozen Valentine cupcakes.  He definitely knows the way to my heart! I am such a foodie. (Sad but true.) FYI-  those cupcakes will be shared and eaten over the span of a few days.

I think we’re about to go to lunch then coming back to clean the house, then mop all the tile. How could anything else be more romantic than that?

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. I’m sure that a lot of us are still struggling with what to buy for our significant others. Cards are nice of course and massages make great gifts. However, what every guy I know really likes is lingerie, on their lady love that is; not for them. (That’s a whole different issue.)

I started at CNN today and wound up at The Frisky.com. The Frisky is an interesting site. They had an article on lingerie today. They showed different “intimates” and asked men “Is this lingerie sexy?”  I thought some of the pieces were just a hoot. (Although I don’t they that they were designed to be that way.) Of course these items weren’t designed to be worn by a plus-size woman occasionally mistaken for a shar-pei.

I just had to share this one piece in particular with you. Sadly, if I wore this right now I’d have a striking resemblance to a ham. But don’t let me discourage you from ordering it. Now I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, but if you hurry, you might still be able to get this delivered before Valentine’s Day.

I just love old ads. (Some of them were ahead of their time.)  I’m sure glad that the Vibra-Finger came with a carrying case. You just never know; my mom might’ve had the urge to “massage her gums” and not be at home. How inconvenient.  To my surprise  Overstock.com still carries this. However, the price now is $54.95; and they are SOLD OUT! (Valentine’s Day gifts must have really depleted their stock.) The old ad said they were “cleansing and refreshing.” The new ad says they “relieve tension” and strangely the words “gum massager” have been eliminated- go figure.